Chapter Twenty-One; Part Two

Sanda's P.O.V.

I continued to fly to where Raito and I last fought, determined to change him back to the kind person I knew he was. "My brother would never let something like the things he said overwhelm him... He's stronger than that. So what the hell's going on with him..?" I recalled several memories of us as children, remembering how we used to play together all the time and always have fun. Eventually, he got so caught up in his work that we hardly had time to talk anymore. I hadn't spoken to him much at all prior to the reward event that day, and after that event I hardly talked to anyone at all except my brother. Even so, my brother was still as kind, smart, and strong as ever. I don't understand how he could've changed so much through just becoming an Elementia. It just didn't make sense to me at the time.

As I continued flying, I heard a voice in my head, a voice I never thought I'd heard again after becoming an Elementia. "He's just showing his true feelings about you. This is how he's always felt, so why not just accept that?"

My eyes darkened and I shook my head. "Shut it out... It's not real..."

"Oh I'm very real Sanda. Realer than the girlfriend you'll never have." It laughed. I sighed to myself. I had always heard this voice when going through my depressive stages. I was hoping I'd never hear it again, but with everything that happened with my brother and Jinny, I guess it was bound to happen again. "He's showing you who he really is. Why don't you show him who you really are?"

My eyes darkened even more at the thought of my past self. "Shut up. I'll never go back to being that way..." Before I turned into an Elementia, I pushed people away, trusted no one, and grew to hate the world and all the people in it. I never wanted to go back to being that way.

"If you don't, he'll kill you. You have to, or you'll never reach him. He'll still think you're nothing but a liar. Why don't you show him how much you've suffered..? He'll never understand you otherwise." The voice hissed at me.

"Is...that right..?" Maybe I really did have to change back to prove to my brother what I was saying before were facts. I really did suffer in the past, just like he did, but just like he never noticed my pain, I never noticed his. He's fighting with his pain, showing me his pain with the way he fights. As far as he knows, I'm as happy as can be with all the other Elementia. I hadn't shown any signs of my pain since I had turned.

"Raito...your pain..." I clenched my fist. "I could never understand it, just as you could never understand mine... The world has been cruel to both of us..." I closed my eyes as I realized the truth of the situation. "He doesn't want to be saved, he wants to kill me because I was 'nothing'. I never tried and everyone only ever looked at him..." I opened my eyes again, my expression blank and my eyes dark. "Fine then...I'll give you my all. I'll kick your ass for what you were and still are: ...everything."

My speed shot up as I blasted through the sky, leaving sparks behind me. "I'll show you my pain...my suffering...all of it. I'll fight you with everything I have. That's what you really want...isn't it..?" I closed my eyes, clenching my fists tightly as a couple tears streaked down my cheeks. "I'll fight you...to the death." I heard the voice in my mind chuckle before fading completely.

I was going to prove him wrong and show him the side I'd never shown anyone. Raito had absolutely everything and he dared to blame me for being "nothing" when I couldn't control the way I was. So, if he wanted to kill me over it, then I'd give him the same treatment in return. I felt a darkness filling my heart in that moment, trying to take hold, but I only let it grasp me slightly. I was going to fight with my darkness, but it wasn't going to control me. "I'll show you exactly who I am today, Raito..." I clenched my fists tighter, my body sparking and my eyes filled with darkness.

Saving my brother was out of the question at that point. I had never really wanted that. From the very beginning, ever since that moment when we were children, I had wanted him dead. The day he hugged me and said all those sweet words, I wanted to vomit. His words had only made me more furious, at him and the rest of the people around me. I tried to hide it by being kind to him and everyone around me, but soon enough I lost my energy, my "spark". I was tired of pretending, so I shut myself off from the world. I failed my college entrance exams on purpose just so I wouldn't have a chance to get close to anyone again, considering my brother would just take them away from me again. Lastly, I locked myself away from the world, wanting nothing to do with it anymore than enjoy its games and anime.

I realized I hated Raito, loathed his existence, and wished he had never been born. A single thought crossed my mind as I thought that. "If you want to fight to the death, then fine... This will be our last battle..." I continued heading to the location with those thoughts in mind, my expression dark and blank. I landed with a crash, my lightning tearing up the ground around me before I called it off. I looked over at Raito, the same smirk on his face as before until he saw my face. His smirk faded and he looked confused, surprised even, but I didn't care. "Are we doing this or what..?" I muttered, my body sparking. I wanted to kick his ass, to kill him.

He suddenly glared at me, a dozen balls of plasma forming around him. "I hope you're ready to die Sanda!" He shouted at me, voice full of rage. I didn't say anything in return however. I let go of everything; my feelings, thoughts, emotions, all of it. I put all my focus on Raito and my intent to kill him. One look at us would've been enough to tell this battle was going to be much worse than our last.

My lightning became more intense. It was fiercer and more violent, tearing up the ground at my feet bit by bit, and I took a stance, my expression not changing. "I should be saying that to you..." I said with a glare, venom in my voice. I can tell the venom in my voice surprised Raito from the look on his face and used his surprise to my advantage. I flashed to him, punching him in the face and knocking him into a small hill, my fist sparking. "Now that felt good..." I chuckled internally.

He flashed back to me out of the hill and kicked me in the gut. I grunted as I had the wind knocked out of me, flying backwards from the form, but I backflipped, skidding and catching myself. I fired a few bolts of lightning at him when I regained my balance, the lightning faster and sharper than usual. My element was responding to my killing intent. It was no wonder the Dark Elementia always seemed to be so much stronger than us each time we fought. They always had the intent to kill while all we wanted was to knock them out or get away.

I scoffed at the realization, watching Raito avoid the lightning and flash right to me, a ball of plasma in his hand. I prepared myself for the impact, blocking with my arms as he blasted me at point blank. He roared, firing a barrage of blasts to continue his assault. Each one of them knocked me back more and more, starting to burn and tear my sleeves, and another thought came to my mind. "No matter what I feel...this is still Raito. I can't let my guard down." I fired some lightning from my feet, blasting myself into the air, and Raito continued to fire at me. The several balls of plasma around him were firing beams at me and Raito was firing balls of plasma at me from his palms.

I encased myself in lightning, flying and avoiding his onslaught. Each time one of his beams or shots got close to me, they exploded in a mint green light, something he learned in the time we hadn't seen each other I guessed. I managed to avoid those as well barely, frustrating my brother even more, though I was still scraped here and there. I stopped as one blast flew by right in front of me, stopping and exploding. I let him believe I was caught in the explosion, hearing him laugh, and I let myself fall to make him believe that I'd been hit pretty hard. He was about to fire once more, but I saw an opening, so I flashed to him, lightning encasing my arms and lightning blasting out of my feet.

His eyes widened as he saw I was fine, but I didn't give him a chance to realize what was happening. I flipped and kicked him into the ground, blasting him with a lightning bolt from my other foot directly after, causing a small shockwave and a light explosion. I stared at the smoke, knowing it would take a lot more than that to keep my brother from getting back up. I saw him burst out of the smoke and flash right to me, screaming at me in pure rage as he seemed to glow even brighter.