30.) Honest Feelings

When I get into his apartment I feel a little out of place, I've never been here without him before. I walk into his room and sit in front of his teddy bear collection then take a selfie and send it with a message. 'I'm here safe. See.' No sooner than I get up a message comes back. "I'm glad you're ok. Thank you. I love you." I smile at his response before the tears I've been holding back start to fall freely. I go into the linen closet and grab a box of tissues before settling myself on the couch and just having a cry fest. After nearly an hour I find myself lying on his couch looking up at the ceiling blankly with a numb feeling taking over both my body and my emotions. Realizing I'd fallen asleep when I stretch up I decide to get up and make myself a cup of tea, looking though his neatly organized collection not at all sure what I'm in the mood for when my eyes land on a label I've never seen before. "Teddy Bear." I pull it out and open it up to take in what I think it may be. There are freeze dried strawberry slices in what looks like a hibiscus tea along with a few other fruity scents. I get out all that I need and make the tea before looking for agave to add a little sweetness once it's ready. I take a taste and decide while it's good I prefer a lot of his other flavorings. I sit back down and look at my phone since the first time I arrived seeing I have several text messages. One from mom asking if I think I'd be too busy for her to visit when Katsuki launces his new agency, One from Red asking if I'm ok and saying he's there if I needed to talk and three from Katsuki. I open the messages and read them, my heart racing as I start to get the feeling of why he took things so far. 'I know you're mad at me, but we can text if you want.' 'There's a new tea blend, it reminds me of you if you want to try it, add half a tablespoon of sugar in the raw and a tablespoon of heavy cream.' 'I'm not trying to be a pain, I'm just feeling a lot of things, you're not even opening my messages to read them, so I'll just see you when I get home. If you're still there. Please Teddy Bear, please still be there. I love you so much.' The last one was sent about half an hour ago. I open my camera and take a picture of the tea then send it with a message. 'I fell asleep, wish I saw this before I tried the new tea though, because I used Agave. You should be driving home now, so I'll see you in about 40 minutes.'

When the door opens I take a deep breath and face him, he looks at me with a mix of sadness and relief. "Got your message." I nod watching him get out of his shoes before he comes closer. "I don't want this to be an argument, I don't like arguing with you. So I'm going to sit down and listen and try to be a good boyfriend instead of a crazy bastard." I chuckle and sit next to him. "Katsuki, what you did earlier with that guy. It embarrassed me." He clenches his fist. "Ok, which part so I know to never do anything like that again." I breath in and out giving him a moment as well. "From the moment you asked me if I found him attractive honestly only then it was only a little and I thought we were alone so I didn't mind it so much. But to kiss me like that just to put on a show of our relationship and I'm still unaware someone is even there. Baby, it made me feel like a possession instead of your girlfriend." He won't look me in the eye instead looking anywhere else. "I don't mean to make you feel like I don't value you. I do. Teddy Bear I'm… maybe I'm not good enough to be with you." My heart sinks and I start to cry again immediately. "Why the hell would you say that?" He turns away from me eyes looking down at his feet. "I've been hiding it but I am a jealous guy. I feel a little possessive of you. Part of me knows it's wrong, but a part of me keeps saying there's nothing wrong with wanting you all to myself. I don't mind sharing you're laughs, your smiles, your talent, hell even your beauty. But it drives me crazy when I see other guys looking at you like that or too long. Even though I think Kirishima had a thing for you I also know he'd never make a move on another guys girlfriend so I don't even mind you talking to him anymore for the most part." I move to him and wrap my arms around him, holding him while his sobs, rubbing my own tears on his shirt.

"Katsuki, I should have seen that you were feeling a little insecure, I'm so sorry baby. Please look at me." He sniffs trying to look away from me but comes easily with a gentle tug of my hand at his cheek. "You're everything I want. The idea of you not being good enough for me is insane. I don't mind your outburst, or that I see you getting a little jealous, but I'm pretty sure it's my fault your jealousy is going too far, because I haven't taken the time to help you feel more secure. I'm never going to leave you, no man can ever compare to you. I know I've been afraid and I'm sorry for how unfair that is to you. Even though I'm terrified I'm going to tell you the truth anyway. I love you Katsuki. I love you so fucking much and I never want to be with anyone else ever again." He turns pulling me closer letting out a nervous and relieved laugh. "I swear Teddy Bear, if you just put up with me while I try to work on this shit, I'll do everything I can to make you happy and never embarrass you again. I'll actual talk personal life with my therapist and everything. Find a healthier way to cope." I kiss his neck and nuzzle him. "I'm right here baby, I'm not going anywhere I promise. In the meantime just so you know, the last couple of weeks when you suck your teeth like your angry then wrap your arm around me, I get it now and that hasn't bothered me. PDA is fine with me now that there's not contract saying not to." He laughs a little dangerously and the hairs stand on the back of my neck. "I hope you're ready then because I will absolutely hold your hand, wrap my arm around you, give you little head kisses. All the time. Everywhere. I'll do it because I just wanna, but also because the losers who want to take you from me can see that I make you happy." I smile hugging him tighter. "You have no idea how happy you make me." He kisses my neck then pulls away looking at me with hope in his eyes. "I don't suppose you'll leave a few of your clothes here now?" I lean in and kiss his lips gently. "Come on, let's get some of your stuff together, go to my place and grab some of my things, then come back here, make dinner, and cuddle on the couch."

Bakugos POV

I love sitting with her this way, her body against mine listening to the little hums she makes. I don't think she even realizes she does it. She loves me, me. Despite all the times I could have fucked up everything she wants to be with me. Fuck that feels so good, better than fucking her even, hearing her tell me those things. I should tell her the truth about my day, "Teddy Bear?" She hums at me in questioning, I guess she doesn't want to move either. "Today, I couldn't concentrate on work. I tried for like half an hour. Then I went to the Gym and I was being a little aggressive so Jeanist told me to go home. I knew you wanted your space and you were here so I texted you to test the waters. You didn't respond so I headed out and went to the park near here. I still hadn't heard from you so I let you know about the tea. After a while I saw my messages were only delivered, I started to kind of freak out and I went by your place and you weren't there so I texted you again, hoping you were here and not out somewhere. When you texted me back I was down the hall about to come in and see if you were here. I went back out and waited until I was supposed to be home knowing you were waiting." Fuck, I can't even read her face. She lifts herself up while pulling me towards her and kisses my chin lightly. "Thank you for telling me, I would have never known. I'm sorry I sent you spiraling." Great I made her feel bad. "Don't apologize. I did it to myself. I was angry he looked at you, but I didn't have to involve you in it. I hope I'll be less jealous now that you've confessed your feelings, but if I'm not I'll remember today. I won't drag you into it." She just smiles at me peacefully, the way she always does. This is the second time I've given her more than enough reason to hate me, but each time she just looks at me as if it had never happened. Like she can't see how fucked up I am. If she's going to be so damn forgiving all the time, I really have to work to not give her a need to do so. "Katsuki, it's almost 9, let's go to bed."