Introducing 'Mev. Sulvain' (learn something new everyday)

"It's all about the way the portrait is drawn," the Art teacher shouts.

I am sitting at another desk three classes later, impressed that I haven't collapsed from boredom yet. I am considering resting my head against my table but I'm worried that I may accidentally lapse into a short-term coma. 'I'm sooo tired!,' I think sleepily. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind drawing but I do mind having to cram useless information into my head. I'm not planning on becoming the next Van Gough any time soon.

The teacher continues his yelling monologue and I continue trying to keep drowsiness at bay. 'To no avail,' I think as my eyes slowly droop lower and lower. 'Too...many...contours. I'm losing the battle sergeant! The ship's going down!'

"It's time to go into groups," the teacher hollers.

'Er, what did he say?'

"Uh, what did he say?," I whisper over to a nearby student.

"We are going to practice drawing still life in groups."

I go pale as I glance over at the table where Emily is sitting. 'Please don't let her come here,' I pray desperately.

"Hey Kirsten, why don't you and your friend join me and Jim?," the same guy calls over to them.

'Dammit, I've been betrayed!'

My heart is beating fast. It's too soon into the chapter for stuff to go down! That's like...bad plot building! I try not to hyperventilate as Kirsten grabs Emily and make their way towards me and the traitor's table. 'Act calm, Jim,' I tell myself, 'preferably not like a neanderthal or retarded person.'

The girls carry their chairs over and take their seats in front of us.

"Thanks Sean," Kirsten says gratefully. They stare at each other from across the table.

'So that's the buggers name,' I think to myself.

"No problem Kirsten," Sean replies.

I look down and take out my pencil with a sweaty hand, opening my sketch book onto a new page while I force my eyes to study the A4 piece of paper and not Emily's face. The lead point of the pencil hovers in mid-air as I try to decide on what to draw.

"Hey guys, this is Jim. Sorry I should of mentioned you," Sean tells me apologetically.

'Oh no you didn't have to, seriously.'

"Hey Jim," Emily says brightly.

I cough into my elbow, "Uh hi...Em-."

Right then my brain decides to do that strange thing it does, and I forget what I am saying mid-sentence.

"It's Emily, actually."

"Yeah I know...I thought 'Em' sounded like a nice nickname."

'What the hell am I saying.'

"Oh. That's nice," Emily kindly says.

"So...uh...what are we drawing?," I ask the group.

Kirsten speaks up, "Well, we can all try to sketch the same portrait or each do something separately."

"I'd like to challenge you to a sketch-off," Sean declares.

'Great. My man Sean is in love,' I inwardly groan.

Kirsten giggles uncertainly, "Um, sure."

Sean leans back in his chair and grins, "Cool. So like Jim asked, what are we going to draw?"

Emily leans over and looks around the classroom, "There is a vase filled with lilies at the corner of the room."

We follow her gaze (me a second later than the others) and spot it. The vase is striped in mixtures of red, yellow and orange.

The four of us work in silence and I sneak a few glances at Emily's brown hair while my pencil does its thing. A few minutes later we do our final touch ups and compare drawings. Kirsten's sketch is the best out of all of ours.

Emily turns to Kirsten beaming in pride, "My vriend gaan 'n kunstenaar word!"

'Wait what?'

"Um, Ja!," I say forcing a grin.

'I can't escape it. She's one of them!,' I think in despair. Oh why did it have to be Emily? Out of everyone, she has to be Afrikaans! Um...not that being Afrikaans is a bad thing. It's just that I don't understand them, literally.

Oh this is just great. What am I going to do now? I hide my inner turmoil and celebrate with my group while some of the other groups try to concentrate on their own drawings.

We sit looking at one another for a while. 'Say something you idiot,' I tell myself.

"Well it was nice working with you guys. Good job with your sketch Kirsten," I say jovially.

"Yeah, thanks Jim," she glances at my impression of an erect oil tank sprouting what seems to be snakes wearing wigs, "Yours looks nice too."

Liar. "Uh huh, thanks."

"Nice meeting you dude," Sean says to me as he gives me a fist-pump. It would have sounded more sincere if he hadn't been staring at Kirsten the whole time.

"Sure, same here," I reply.

Just in time to save me from further awkward banter, the bell shrieks for the schools attention. I pack my bag and throw it over my shoulder. I look at Emily again as she twists to head back to her desk. She still looks beautiful though, I admit dreamily.

'I guess I can last another lesson.'