Healing {25}

"Maia!" a distant voice croaked, "Are you alright?"

The darkness slowly banked to a wave of light, then a face blurred by shadow widened her eyes aching to stay shut.

Had she passed out?

She felt a hand beneath her ribs, clutching her lovingly while a heavy weight kept pushing her to the floor drenched in coldness. Everything seemed dizzy.

"Can you move?"

A lock of thick dark hair fell onto her face during her upheaval, Maia recognising it in an instant.

Evangeline.

Pushing just barely below a whisper, Maia squeaked, "No"

She couldn't. Could barely see a metre ahead of her.

~

Skye couldn't breath. But she could see, and nothing else; sound deaf to her ears.

It was her crown again, the discarded piece of divinity that was placed above her head, adorning her the guardian.

It burned; radiant and exploding like a ball of yarn, perched between her fingertips. This time she could feel the weight of it resting against her skin; how it trickled mockingly.

Like before, its power burrowed into her veins, travelling through the cracked skin un-able to handle its magnitude. Such an excruciating feeling for such a pure entity assigned with protection....

It was searing. The unaltered light emanating was blinding, her eyes straining even when shut. No. She had to see, had to know where she was...

It was swallowing her whole, her soul surrendering to its command, its fury.... its twisted, tampered fury that whispered "I'm waiting Skye, you can't escape me..."

It felt like Deja vu the moment her body jostled itself awake, a scream leaving her lips.

The sight alone still in her mind had Skye shaking, the enchanting slumber having worn off seconds ago. Her mind could still recall the details. To see it re-occurring, to feel the burn and cry of it again... something was amiss.

Still, when she awoke to the startled Evangeline, she felt nothing but a sodden guilt.

Her mind ran to reality, clutching it with pleading hands.

She shuddered, still shaking off the dream and collecting the remnants of her voice, "W-where is Jax a-and Lev, what happened?"

Evangeline gave no reply, eyebrows furrowed and lips downturned in an emotion unreadable.

Skye halted once pulling her eyes to it; she knew that face, had seen it a million times. It gave a new meaning to the naming of guilt, especially when someone close felt almost betrayal from them.

She nearly exposed them...

The dread nestled within her heart, and she felt it crawl within her like a plague.

Letting her unsettled head droop, not worthy of making eye contact, Skye sighed heavily, "I know I owe you an apology for everything Evangeline" her fingers squeezed the blanket she rest upon with a pained expression, "And for that, I'm sorry"

Evangeline gazed away. It wasn't enough. How could it be?

The realisation pinched at Skye, knowing she deserved this.

Quietly and without a sound, Evangeline got up from her chair and carefully walked to the window of the dormitory. There she gazed upon the world with open eyes and a blank mind; the wind blowing through open curtains felt light upon her sweated face. This was hard on her too.

Skye could only watch, body still numb from sleep but not to the flickering pain growing deeper by her actions.

"I'm sorry", she blurted with everything she had, "I'm so dam sorry for making this the way it was, for making it harder for you, for everyone" The anger was inflicted inwards- they both knew that.

But Evangeline did not falter, a slight bump in her throat- hearing but not quite acknowledging. The guilt was unbearably painful, Skye's heart thrumming so fast at all her mistakes.

"I'm sorry!" she yelped breathlessly, her throat dry, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm-" her screams turned to sobs. She felt utterly pathetic, to break down... why must she be so weak? "I'm sorry for putting you through this... If only I hadn't..."

Skye didn't have the heart to finish that sentence.

There was an awkward silence where only the rustling of the sheets at hand were heard.

"I hate this Skye" Evangeline admitted, her first words sour. Even from afar, her eyes were a patch of darkness, an aging sign of frustration and pain. "I hate seeing you like this, seeing myself like this"

She turned from the window, releasing a breath she didn't realise she was holding. "I understand you are scared, scared for Lev, for us, for everyone, but you need to trust us"

Those words sizzled on her skin, the truth always a painful ally.

"Its easy to protect yourself, but others?" she went on, hands clenched remorsefully, "Only us guardians know that burden, what it feels like to not have control on every movement others make in order to keep them safe" her tone had a fearful underlying tone, "Skye, believe it or not, we are capable beings who have confidence in one another. That is how we survive"

She swallowed, her eyes meeting Skye's teary ones. You could see she was restless, agitated by the truth but letting it roam for that was what had to be done. Yet when Skye squinted she swore there was something else behind Evangeline's eyes... an emotion Evangeline had blocked. "By doing that, you will no longer carry that burden alone on yourself, but it will be shared with those you trust"

Skye nodded, lost for words. Evangeline was right, she was so incredibly right. Still, did she want others to feel what she had?

That question was easy. No.

Hesitating, Skye pushed back a tear and spoke with love, "But what if I don't want to give an ancient burden that was given to me to bare instead of others? What if I can carry it alone so others don't have to?"

Evangeline eyed her with grave sympathy, "What if you can't Skye?"

Silence.

"What if that burden crushed you because it was too much? Where would we be knowing we could have lightened it" she paused, closing her eyes, "If only you would let us"

Clearing her throat and perching herself on the side of the bed, Evangeline gazed openly upon the original guardian sighing to herself, "You need to tell us what's going on in your mind, so we can help you and keep you from breaking down- or if you do, know that you're not alone in this"

Gripping the feather at her neck, Skye felt tense. Everything was so sharp to hear, the truth dawning was that of a scary one. "Even when I know what I have to do, what's right, I just couldn't do that to you guys"

"I understand Skye, but its our choice, let us live or die with it"

Something bubbled in Skye's throat, those warm tears pooling again. She took a moment to centre herself, focusing on her breathing while staying sensitive to all around her- just like she used too. "I will try" was all she could say.

Evangeline was on the verge of smiling, her own brown eyes glistening from water, "Then thank you for trying"

A calm sense of trust, a lightness she embraced with her entire being was what spread between them, that tingled the scars on her back. "Thank you Evangeline"

The angel smiled in return, the air around them getting lighter. "It wont be easy, its not something that happens overnight, but its possible if you truly believe and try"

"Yeah..." Skye breathed, that haziness of hope clouding her mind now that a deep guilt left her body vacant.

Be open.

Trust.

It would take time.

She would let others take some of her burden, only small parts they could cope with... if only to make them happy, to gain their trust and to ensure their safety.

She was not alone. Never was. And with Evangeline reaching for her hand, she never would be.

~

Jax was awake. Very much awake and very much confused. Constantly, like a broken record, his eyes replayed an image of a dastardly creature attacking him, recalling the pain, the anxiety, the turmoil, everything. Then, what he could only describe from a glimpse... was an angel. It sounded ludicrous, impossible and down-right mad. Yet it felt so real...

He was sure he didn't mistake painkillers for something else...

He needed answers... now.