Chapter 71

---- Flashback -----

It was raining heavily. The month of April wasn't usually blessed with such gloomy clouds. But Carina felt thankful for it. It matched her heart. Her gloomy, hateful, bitter heart. Being fifteen was tough, her maids would say. Having your heart broken was tougher, Luna would say. It was supposed to make you stronger, better. But Carina hated their words. She hated her mother. She hated the boy who wished to be a painter. She hated herself for what she'd become. A cycle of hatred, longing and tears. That was her life now.

The sudden coldness of the air made her shiver. Whenever the seasons changed she would end up getting sick. The April rain wasn't surely going to spare her. She sipped on her lukewarm tea and held a staring match with her blank pages. Pages that were supposed to be filled with either stories she came up with, or valuable information on the history of literature. The pages looked sad.

"Should I warm up the tea, Milady?" Luna's soft voice asked. Carina found herself feeling warm. Her voice always soothed her. The splatter of rain intensified. Carina shook her head negative and placed the cup down.

"You have something to ask, Luna?"

Luna blushed a little. Her little lady had a keen eye. She was always observant.

"I'm not sure if the question will please you."

"Nothing is pleasing me these days. You can go on." The way Carina spoke nowadays reminded Luna of her mistress. They were so similar when in grief. Yet when Carina was happy, she wholly resembled her dear father. She asked, voice a bit heavy, "Why did you run away from home?"

The question lingered in the air. She couldn't see the teen's reaction. The clouds growled from above. Luna felt like apologizing.

"It was cold. I was searching for warmth. I thought if I clung on to it, the cold would never touch me." Carina smiled a little to herself. A cryptic answer. As expected of a child with a complex heart. Luna's simple mind couldn't comprehend. She let the subject drop to put away the teacup. Carina eyed her from the side.

"What I didn't realise was that I am a child of Winter. Feeble moments of amber could never compete with the cold. Warmth is fit for delicate Spring. But I, Luna", her voice thickened with emotion, "am as lonely as a frostbite."

The older woman looked at her in awe. How could such a young life feel so much sorrow? Luna had lost her parents, lost her lover, had faced a cruel fate. She only had her child Amanda. But she had never felt so much despair as she felt for the young girl. Only one thought occured to her. Carina felt too much for too little. Bled too much for a knick. Smiled too much for a compliment. She was too much for this cruel world.

"I hope one day the ice will melt, Milady."

"What would be the point?"

"If Summer couldn't keep his warmth, maybe Monsoon could console you. He's cold too." Carina scoffed at that.

"You're funny, Luna. Monsoon and Winter are a terrible combination." Luna smiled apologetically.

Monsoon, Carina thought. Her least favourite.

----- End of Flashback -----

Monsoon, Carina thought , as she eyed Nathan.