We are supposed meet at the cafe near the station. I got there first before time, ordered a cup of tea and sat on a table near a door out of habit.The place is quieter than the other cafes I ever went.I looked around and saw mostly couples on other tables. And suddenly I got the strange feeling that, the girl could be in love with me, thinking me as a straight man cause she kept the handkerchief for almost a year and also took initiative to talk and asked me for my number and even asked me to meet her today. I.... sss she thinking this meeting as a date? I just felt sorry for the girl, again she has to suffer a heartbreak. So I decided that I will tell her I am gay as soon as she come. As much as I delay the chance to tell her, the more she will suffer. And in no time, the girl came.I stand up and greet her. She said, "sorry, though the one who invite you is me,I showed up late". " No no it's not a problem "I said. Cause I have a bigger problem in my head already. I have to tell her I am gay. So I gathered all my courage and about to call her that moment I realised I don't even know her name, so I decided to tell her after asking her name. So I said, "uhh... Excuse me I know it's rude to ask now but what is your name?
The girl looked at me and said, "ohh sorry, I am Ivy June. But all my friends called me Ella, you can call me Ella too. And yours? Then I again realised I also didn't told my name. "Ohh sorry, I am Liam Abel, I don't have any other name like you".Cause no one even interested to talk to me in the first place, so giving me an another name is not even a option. So again I gathered all my courage to tell and realised again that the girl did not even ordered a coffee, so I again decided to delay cause it is a bad manner. But the girl finds myself troubled and asked me "are you uncomfortable because I am a girl? ". Without waiting for my answer she told me, " I know for a gay man meeting a girl is unusual to you, but...
The girl can't complete her line and I said"What, you know I am a gay".The girl got startled and said "yes". I couldn't say a word for some time. In my head, I just got ahead of myself and make some baseless assumptions, I shamed myself as a human being .The girl suddenly said, "you know I may look like stupid,but I know you are gay after knowing you for so long".In my head I thought myself "you are not stupid girl, here the stupid is me, I made that groundless opinions of mine".So I wake up from my miserable state to act cool and said "sorry".she just gave me a smile and call the waiter for her order.she took a sip on cup of a tea and looked at my eyes. She slowly said, " Thank you. In my fairy world, when my prince got his own prince, at that time you saved me as a Knight. Look I also saved your number as Mr. Knight".I got the same shivering in my heart as that day. I felt an unknown happiness I am not used to for the first time.She down her head, and said, "the man you saw that day, he and I are best friends for 12 years now and for 12 years I was in love with him. Last year, when I confessed to him, he really got confused at first but he accepted me. I felt so happy that for 2 days I have felt butterflies in my stomach, I even found the cactus cute. But the happy moments got crushed when he came out to me as a gay and broke up with me. A thunder with no sound crushed my heart without mercy. I begged him not to leave me. I told me I will be good, I will became a good person, I will not ever complain to him but he just shut his door before me by saying that I can't love you I am gay. She paused for a second and give a smile and said, I even cut my hair to look like a boy,tried to wear my father's clothes to look like a man for him. I went crazy cause he was not picking my calls. And you know he even moved out from his house to this city. Before leaving he left a letter and the ring I gave to him. She again paused for a second and a tears dropped from her eyes, she said, that day I realised love has gender".
As she talking, I can feel her pain but I could not do anything because I don't have the words that will heal her scars so I just decided to remain silent.
You know I am hospitalised for 5 days and did not go outside for 3 months.Even his parents came to see me. They already knew we broke up and the reason why I was in pain.My parents are so worried that they didn't even asked me about the reason of my break if I again started to cry. They just asked me, how my body was? What I wanted to eat? After half a year, I decided to stop being miserable and wanted to try for the last time. So I got his address from his parents and came here. You know the address was wrong. But I found him at the bus stop and chased him but I got lost and found myself in front of a gay bar. I tried to contact him but he blocked me so the calls could not go through. So I thought at least I got to know one place where I could found him again. So I felt lucky and went home. After some day, I again came here and unexpectedly he saw me and even hold my hands and that moment I thought I was in heaven. But soon again my heart got crushed with the same thunder. He again said, he could not love me because he was gay. She again stopped for a moment and lift her head , look at me and said, if that day you did not approach me maybe I would never have moved on. Even though no one asked me why we broke up, even if they asked me I could not just say to them the reason cause he only just came out to me that time. She added,the burden I felt for a long time in my heart melted away when I talk with you that day. I desperately wanted a ear to listen not a shoulder to cry on.And that night you become the knight of my fairy world.
After that she did not speak a word for 5 minutes.I felt a pain in my chest.Even though I decided to remain silent my curious mind forced me to asked her, then why did you went to the gay bar again that day?