Chapter 9: What Do You Mean

🖼 " Thursday Morning "🖼

💕"Ryan's POV"💕

God, my stomach is hurting worse than my period cramps. My body period just hurts. No doubt I have even more nasty looking bruises all over and worse part is today I have gym.

Oh well, I guess I'll just push through it like I normally do. I think to myself as I get up outta bed.

I'm not even gonna worry about taking a shower. I think to myself hurting way to bad to even move. I go to my closet and grab out a long sleeve plain grey shirt with a pair of blue boot cut jeans. I put on a pair of socks and a grey pair of sneakers. I grab my bag and since I already put my spare clothes and what not in it last night I head out the door.

🏫" At School "🏫

I just got to school when I see a huge circle out front of the school.

What the hell? I ask myself since there's like 15 minutes before school starts and there's a huge circle in front of the school.

I limp over to the circle and push pass all the people in the crowd.

In the middle was Blake beating the crap out of a dude. Typical badboys. I think to myself as I roll my eyes.

I grab him by his ear and drag him away from the crowd even though I was limping it wasn't to hard to do.

"What the hell Blake!", I yell at him leaning against the school's wall to support me standing.

"Why are you what the helling me when I should be what the helling you on what happened to you.", he says in a raised tone causing me to flinch. His face expression softened and turned to concern

"What the hell happened to you Ryan?", he asked as cupped my cheek.

"I-it's nothing I can't handle, I'm fine.", I tell him shooing his hand away and he still gives me a concerned look

"I'm fine I promise, see.", I say standing up hissing in pain and grabbing my side.

"All good here.", I say with a thumbs up letting go of my side.

"I don't believe you.", he says and picks up bridal style.

"What the Blake! Put me down!", I yell at him and he shakes his head.

"Nope!", he says popping the 'p'

"What the hell happened to her?", I hear Summer ask

"I don't know she won't tell. She was limping around this morning and needing some kinda support to keep her from falling earlier.", he says then Ember and Stacey came up and Summer filled them in.

"Put. Me. The Fuck. Down!", I yelled and he shakes his head.

"Nope, I'll put you down at the nurses office.", he says and extreme fear crosses my face and they all take notice. Blake stops and looks at me.

"It's just gonna get worse.", I sigh out and they look at me confused.

"What the hell does that mean?!", Ember asked.

"That's for me to know and hopefully for guys to never find out now Blake, can you please put me down?", I ask calmly and he nods and sets me down.

"Thanks. See ya guys later.", I say to them.

I start to think to myself, how in the world did I become from not friends for their own safety and not wanting to replace her, to having 4 amazing friends, and two of them were my bullies.

I sigh and walk out of the school towards the cemetery. I didn't care to look behind me, I didn't care who followed me, I just needed to talk to my sister. No matter hoe crazy it sounds, even though she's gone, I feel as if... as if she's still here. Maybe I am crazy but I guess my mind still can't except the fact that she's gone. I didn't even go to her funeral because my parents said, the monster that killed her shouldn't have the honour to go to her funeral.

What kinda honour is it to go to the person you loved funeral. I sure as hell don't think it's an honour, I think it's a fucking curse.

:(" At The Cemetery ":(

I'm sitting in front of Zoey's gravestone hugging it.

"Hey sis, I've missed you.", I tell her tears already threatening to fall.

"Even though it's still morning, I already had a close call.", I tell her a tear rolling down my cheek.

"It almost slipped out. The secret that I've been keeping. You know I think you're the only one who knows about it. Then again why wouldn't you, you ar- were my best friend.", I tell her a frown on my face as the tears roll down my cheeks

"I have to say I'm sorry. I really didn't want any friends cause in the end they might become my best friends and I don't want it to seem like I was replacing you b-because you weren't only my sister you were my first best friend.", I say looking up at the sky feeling the same comforting coldness as I always do when I come here.

"I know this sounds crazy but for some reason I feel as if you're still here. Maybe it's just the way my mind works, maybe I'm still not ready to except that you're gone but for some reason I do feel like you're still here.", I say looking back at her gravestone

"Next time I come here, I'll try to bring you your favorite flowers. No guarantees though but I'll try. I might be able to since I got a small side job. I love you and miss you so so much", I say and hug her gravestone. I wipe my tears away and get up. I turn around and see Summer, Stacey, Ember, and Blake. They all looked sad and had looks of sympathy and pity.

God I hate people pitying me or even showing me sympathy. The pity just shows how weak I am and I don't deserve anybody's sympathy. I did this to her it should be me where she's lying but yet here I am, alive and breathing.

"Don't give me those looks!", I say it coming out harsher than I wanted. I walked out of the Cemetery and started to walk back to school. I already know that I missed my first period and by the time I get back to school my second period would be over.

"I'm so sorry for yo-", Stacey goes to say but I cur her off.

"Don't, it's not your fault it's mine. I'm the one who accidentally kicked the ball into the road and let her get the ball even though I was going to get it.", I say to her and start to speed walk.

"What did you mean by you almost had a close call and that the secret that you've been keeping almost slipped?", Blake asks and I sigh.

"Y'all really wanna know?!", I ask angrily and they kinda nodded.

"Fine! I'll tell you after fucking school but for now...", I say and then take a deep breath and sigh.

"Just leave me the hell alone until then.", I say more calmly but anger still in my voice. They stood there and just watched me as I walked away.

🏫" After School "🏫

"So, where to?", Summer asked and I gave her a 'are you seriously asking me that' face and she just sighs.

"My house, right?", she asks and I nod.

"Alright guys, to the Audi.", she says I let Stacey sit up front and sat in the back behind Summer and looked out the window.

This is it, when we get to Summer's house I'm telling the secret I told myself I would never tell anyone for their own safety. I think to myself as the beautiful nature scenery goes by in a flash.