Honesty, Trust, and Secrets

"What's wrong?" Mom asked, placing a hand on my arm to steady me. "Do you feel faint?" She led me over to the bed. "Here. Sit down."

"I'm fine, Mom," I said, leaning over and placing my hand on my head. "Do you know how to get in touch with Ryan?"

Mom took a step back as if she had just been slapped. "No! Of course not!"

"Are you sure?" I asked, taking deep breaths. "It's a matter of life and death."

"What's wrong with you?" Shay's mom asked, getting to her feet. "He doesn't even know!"

I shook my head. "No, Mom, listen to me," I said, tears in my eyes, "It's a matter of life and death… for him and his wife." My mother, Kaylynn, I thought to myself. Could I possibly stop them from dying?

Amelia, Shay's mother, scoffed as she got to her feet. "What are you talking about?"

Stellan suddenly walked through the door and stood by Shay's mother. "Don't do it."

"In a few years—"

"Tasha, no!" Stellan yelled. "You can't tell her that! She'll think you've gone off your rocker!"

"There will be a—"

"Tasha, no!" Stellan yelled. "I'm begging you! Do you really want them to have Shay committed? How will you explain how you know? Don't tell her!"

Amelia folded her arms across her chest, wearing a smirk, looking at me in disbelief. "There will be a what?"

I sighed, defeated. "Nothing." I stood, shaking my head. "You wouldn't believe me anyway."

She sighed, giving my arm a gentle squeeze. "Shay, I know you're going through a lot. But trust me. You'll get through this… and I'll be there to help."

"But what about Renn?" I asked, looking into her eyes.

Her eyes opened in disbelief. "What about him?"

I scoffed, shaking my head. "Don't you think he has a right to know?"

Mom placed her hands on my upper arms. "Now, Shay. What I've told you, you can't breathe a word to anyone. It's been too long and there's been too much water under the bridge. It would hurt too many people."

I let out a deep breath as I took a step back. "But the main person it would hurt is you." I grabbed my things and slipped into a robe. "You're unbelievable." Then I opened the door and headed out, but Shay's mother stopped me.

"Shay, please!" Amelia begged, holding my arm. Then she looked around to see if anyone was watching. Satisfied, she lowered her voice. "Shay, I only told you this so you can learn from my mistakes."

I looked into her eyes and then walked back into the room, bringing her with me, and then closed the door again. "Mom, if I do decide to get together with someone, I will be honest about the baby. I'm not going to mislead anyone into thinking that their whole life is a lie."

"A lie?" Mom scoffed. "You think Renn's life, and yours, is a lie?" Mom shook her head. "Shay, your father and I love both you and Renn very much. What good would it do if I told him? Right now, Renn has a stable life, a good life. If I tell him—" She swallowed hard. "—and your father, then it'll disrupt their lives and possibly tear us apart. Is that what you want?"

I sighed, shaking my head. "No. That's not what I want. But let me get one thing straight." I took a step closer to her and looked in her eyes. "I'm nothing like you. I will do what I feel is best for me and the baby, and I'll tell the truth." Then I stormed out of the room and down the hallway. Then I darted into the bathroom, quickly closing the door behind me, and locked it and leaned against the counter to collect my thoughts.

Stellan walked through the door… literally. "Are you okay?"

"Where have you been?" I glared at him.

"Ssshhh!!!" He peeked his head through the door to see if anyone was in the hallway and then raised back up. When he spoke again, his voice was low. "Keep your voice down. You don't want anyone to think you're crazy."

"I think that people in this family are way too concerned about what other people think," I blurted out. "What ever happened to honesty?"

Stellan nodded. "Now you're learning."

"Learning?" I let out a deep breath, shaking my head. "This is not about me."

He tilted his head to the side. "Yes, in a way, it is."

"So, on this jump, I'm learning the benefits of honesty?" I asked, unable to believe the mess that Shay was in. It was a wonder that she turned out as good as she was.

"Among other things," Stellan said.

I scoffed, flailing my hand toward the door. "Do you know what Shay's mother did? She lied to her husband before she married him, and she's been lying to Renn all this time!"

"Ssshhh!!" Stellan froze, waiting to see if anyone heard. When there was nothing, he continued, "Tasha, you're here to help Shay right now, as well as to learn what you need to learn in the process." He shrugged. "But when you think about it, the lie never hurt anyone—"

"Never hurt anyone?" I cut him off, my voice raising three octaves.

"Except for her," he finished. "The main person this lie hurt was her. Why do you think she's so uptight? So worried about what others will think?"

"All these years, she's been afraid that someone would find out her deepest secret."

"Precisely." Stellan leaned against the counter beside me. "And do you really want that for Shay?"

I shook my head. "No. Of course not."

Stellan let out a deep breath. "Actually, you have to give Amelia credit. She trusted you enough to tell you. And she did it to help Shay, so her intentions were good. Now, what are you going to do about it?"

I nodded, understanding. "Trust is another thing I'm learning on this jump, too. Isn't it?"

Stellan nodded. "Yes, among other things." He looked into my eyes. "Believe it or not, you're the first person Amelia has trusted with that secret." He let out a deep breath. "So, are you going to betray that trust? Tasha, in order to be trusted, you have to be trustworthy."

"But Renn—"

"Will be told when it's time," Stellan said, cutting me off. "But is now the right time, and should you be the one to tell him?"

I shook my head, letting out a deep breath. "No. Of course not. It should come from Amelia."

"Exactly." Stellan wrapped his arm around me and pulled me to his side. "You're not the only one on a journey right now."

My head snapped up. "So, Amelia is a jumper, too?"

Stellan smiled as he shook his head. "No, she's not. Only one jumper is allowed in a realm at a time. It would get too confusing otherwise."

"Tell me something, Stellan."

He looked into my eyes, his arm still around me. "What?"

"Are the effects of what I'm doing here going to change their lives?" I let out a deep breath. "Will it even matter?"

Stellan pulled me to his side again and I laid my head on his shoulder. "Of course, it matters. What we do has a ripple effect. Make one change and it affects everything that follows."

Knock, knock, knock!

"Shay, honey," Amelia's voce came from the other side of the door. "Jack's here."

I let out a deep breath as I pushed away from the counter. "I'll be right there!" Then I added, "Thanks, Mom!"

There was a pause, and then she replied, "You're welcome, dear. I'll escort Jack to the Study."

"Thanks."

"Oh!" her voice sounded from the other side of the door. "Don't make any plans for tonight. Your father and I are taking you to the club."

"Mom, I'm not sure if I feel like it—"

"Trust me," she replied. "It will be in your best interest to go."

I scoffed, shaking my head in disbelief. "Okay. But only if Renn goes, too." I knew that if Renn went, they wouldn't be so fast to try anything. Also, I didn't want to go alone. Also, I enjoyed Renn's company. And now that we were related….

There was another pause and then she replied, "We'll see, dear. Get ready."

"How much you want to bet she's going to try and set me up with someone?" I stage-whispered. "Talk about history repeating itself."

"And are you going to let it happen?" Stellan asked, raising an eyebrow.

I shook my head. "No. No, I'm not." Then I smirked. "Now. Get out of here so I can take a shower... and don't come back until I'm finished."

He smirked. "Don't worry. I'll be around." Then he walked through the door without opening it.

I hurried to shower and then dressed in another cute skirt and blouse that I had brought in with me, and then quickly ran a brush through my hair, opting to let it air dry. Then I hurried to my room to grab my books, and rushed down the hallway, headed toward the Study.

The whole time I was getting ready, I couldn't help but think. Amelia's and Shay's situations are different, even though they were similar. The father of Shay's baby, Axel, was already out of the picture, and Shay didn't love him anyway. But with Amelia, she had loved Ryan, my father, and had to live all these years unable to tell anyone.

Then I thought of my father. How would his life have been different if he had known? Would he have not met my mother and never had me? Or would Amelia have been my mother and Shay and Renn my siblings? But that was something we'd never know. A person could go crazy thinking of the possibilities.

But they had all ended up happy, for the most part, even though Amelia had let her parents railroad her into the marriage with Shay's father, Kent, and my father, Ryan, never knew about Renn in the first place.

But one good thing was that Amelia and Kent were happy and in love now. But what about all those wasted years? I couldn't help but think of how much richer their lives could have possibly been, had they known the truth.

As I stood with my hand on the door, ready to go into the Study, I knew that Jack would be there waiting for Shay. I had no idea what would happen when I entered the room, but one thing I did know was that I was going to do what was best for Shay and her baby. I just hoped it was the right thing.