Miedo a Tener Miedo

It was Elena.

It shocked me, and my broken heart was getting sewn together. She asked, "Did you sleep well? I found you outside a bar with torn clothes, and you were drunk. Would you tell me what happened?"

I was too amazed to say anything, and there was nothing that was suitable to say at that moment to her. I stood up and said, "No, I am fine... I was just too drunk." She smiled like she was kind of suspicious, but anyway, she took me to the hall of her house—it was really like a king's castle. t

That mansion was really beautiful, but now it has burnt to ashes.

She introduced me to her father, the man who created many problems in my life. He was David Miller, the Chief of cops of that time. It was 1936 maybe, and as I remember, I was 23 at that time. Her father questioned me about what I was doing there like that? I was speechless but I countered myself by saying, "When I was leaving the bar, some greasers took all of my money, and my clothes got torn while fighting. He said, "Elena, can you bring us some breakfast?"

"Yeah, sure." she said, as he continued and asked, "Hey son, listen, you seem a good guy to be, but you look kind of depressed by something." I replied, "Yeah... I have some family issues, my brother is ill and my job is gone, I don't have money to even.... " "Don't worry, maybe someone has got a job for you, go and meet **Juan Garcia** in Little Mexico.", he said. I agreed with him and did as he said. After having some breakfast, I bid goodbye to Elena, and then I took a taxi to East Harlem, Little Mexico. It was actually a meat market transportation of animals, and cutting them was the basic job there, but I didn't want to do that. Juan Garcia was a dangerous fella'... even cops never entered his area. I found his office where he used to deal with other businessmen.

As I entered his office, I saw him grabbing the collar of a guy and yelling at him to give his money back. Blood was oozing from that man and he was really unable to even stand. They saw me and his assistant asked me, "Who're you pal?" I was terrified and said that I was there for work, to which his assistant replied,  "So why are you here, hey Tuco, go and tell him his work."

That Tuco guy took me to do shipping and yelled, "Do it fast, bitch!! Or suck my dick" That guy was really an asshole. Anyways, I started shipping all those thousand boxes in a cart. It was really a pain in the ass. After a few minutes, I realized that this is not my work, that I should leave. I started leaving that place but that fucking smoking Tuco stopped me and said, "Hey you come with me". He took me to Garcia's office and then Juan said nicely "Yeah, kid, why did you stop working, is there any problem?" I was terrified.

"No Sir, I just thought that you would give me some other job as Mr. David Miller sai...".

"David sent you here? You should have told me earlier, I have got something different for you, go and take barber money from every nearby meat sellers in the market and bring it to me.", Juan said. I moved my head to say yes and got to do the job. It was a hard one, but I needed that job, but it turned out to be easy since everyone respected Juan there, so they gave me money without any problems. One of the old men said that he doesn't even have hair, why should he give us money. I said, "If you don't, then it will become a big problem for you." And he did as his fear said. After collecting almost all the money, there was just one shop that remained. I got there and asked the owner to pay for barber but he was a real pussy. He stood right front of me. actually he was really a tall, fatty and angry guy. He refused to give the money but I forced him, he still was refusing every thing I said. Then my anger got me and I yelled, "Yeah bitch , you can't even pay up for barber, how the fuck are you a shop owner!?"

And that was the moment when I realized that I had fucked up! His nose got red, he took his meat knife and threw at me. I was lucky that it just shattered the glass behind me, though some of the pieces of glass did pierce my skin. But it was alright because I was alive. Still, I fell on the floor while dodging the knife and he took the advantage of it and grabbed my neck. I was helpless then to do anything, it started to get difficult to breath. I was thinking,  "No man, NO!! THIS IS NOT HOW I WILL END!"

I took a piece of shattered glass that had got stuck in my pants, and pierced it in his neck. My hand was bleeding like hell but still, I managed to loosen his grip over my neck. And that's how he lost, as his neck was really fucked up.

All the customers and shop owners were watching our fight, but no one tried to stop him. Anyways, I took the money from his pockets and got the hell out'ta there and that fatty bitch collapsed there. Then, everyone got in to help him. This was the first time I saw people watching me with fear... that feeling was really nice at the first time...

But as time goes on, it makes you a monster that everyone fears but no one loves... no one!!

I took all the money and gave it to Juan. He gave me my share and said, "Nice work there kiddo, you managed it well on the first day." Even though I managed to do all that, my legs were still shaking like hell, I took the money and said that, "I can't do this job even one more time Sir, I want to do something where no one will try to kill me."

He smiled and replied, "Hmm... yeah sure kiddo,wanna smuggle some Coke?"