la push

From the moment Edward left I spent almost every minute in my room. From tearing over the third act of Macbeth or calculating problems for Trig, I latched onto whatever homework I could do to distract myself from what happened in the kitchen, the cab of my Beast, and school. Which proved to be an impossible task, as once Edward had stopped tutoring me, I seemed to have lost any ability to do it on my own.

I couldn't deny it anymore. Edward clearly liked me the way I liked him.

Why else would he ask if my mom would approve of him? I couldn't think of any other reason why that would matter to someone unless they wanted to be with me more. For some – unfathomable – reason, he wanted me.

And yet, instead of celebrating, dancing, or jumping on my bed with jubilation – I was petrified.

Even before I met Edward, I knew something was wrong with me – besides having the brain of a thirty-five year old, or being balance impaired with no hand-eye coordination. I never could pin down what it was, as I'd never really liked anybody this much to understand what that difference was.

Laying in bed, trapped with no one but myself, I had to face it – I was more like my father than I wanted to be. When he fell in love with my mom, she was 'it' for him. He had no other girlfriends, no desire for anyone else. He seemed to be glad that mom was happy with Phil; but, it couldn't erase the shrine he had built for her here.

Growing up, it had always made him seem so pathetic to me.

Logic demanded that if I was similar to Charlie, Edward would change his mind and leave me, and I might be stuck in this house with my father for the rest of my life. Only, then he wouldn't be able to stomach me. He wouldn't want to keep living with his broken, sexual deviant, son. Maybe it wouldn't be for a couple of years, ten years, or longer, but it was inevitable.

Even so, my dad never gave up on my mom. Despite his sad, sorry, decade of pining for someone who didn't love him anymore, Charlie never seemed to regret giving everything he had. Would it hurt me worse to give up now? Or to never give up at all…

Could I give him up now?

Edward's mouth appeared in my head, curling into his subtle half-grin, wryly amused at me. 'No, probably not' his voice whispered through my head.

Thousands of other questions flooded through my mind, and soon, it was two in the morning. I still couldn't sleep.

Maybe I should pretend I didn't feel what I felt to save my father and his family from embarrassment; But, the idea of being away from him, to never to see him again, punched a hole in my chest. I couldn't cope with the sheer thought of him gone. It hurt me so much my lungs felt tight and heavy.

If not for the reminder of his soft lips pressing gentle kisses against my knuckles, I may have never been able to sleep that night.

I wasn't looking forward to Friday, despite it being the end of the school week. Without having any expectations for how it would be, I knew Edward wouldn't be at school, and all my desire to show up was gone with him. Of course, there were the fainting comments. Jeremy, especially, seemed to get a huge kick out of the story. Beau fainted in class and had to go home. Such a pathetic test of constitution, although, it was an embarrassment I was resigned to.

I should have been more grateful that Makalya was too embarrassed to tell anyone how Edward had swooped in and swept me off my feet. But, every so often, she looked at me with pained confusion in her eyes, and guilt plucked at me. Jeremy always had questions, though, and he couldn't help himself from asking them in Trig.

"So, why did Edward and Alice want to sit with us yesterday?"

"Is it bad that they did?"

He scowled mildly. "No, I just wondered if you invited them for a particular reason."

Feigning ignorance to his obvious fishing for gossip, I tried to keep my expression blank and disinterested. "I didn't, but I thought they were nice enough."

"I've never seen them sit with anyone, but, their family before. It was weird."

"Really weird," I agreed, and he seemed annoyed somehow. running his fingers through his brown hair impatiently, I could only guess that he'd been hoping to hear something that would make an interesting story to pass on to his other friends.

"I guess since Edward isn't flirting with Makayla, it's okay."

Unable to help myself, I snorted. Loudly enough for everyone in Trig to look over at us.

Jeremy narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "What's so funny?

I quickly covered myself. "I don't think Makayla's his type."

"What is -that- supposed to mean?"

Not understanding how I had offended him, I swallowed and shook my head. "Makayla's just going with you, still, right?"

Jeremy relaxed, still vaguely suspicious, before he perked up. Instantly going back to gabbing about how excited he was to go to the dance, I tuned him out and went back to work.

The worst part about Friday was that even though I knew Edward wasn't going to be here, I still hoped I would see him. When I walked into the cafeteria with Makayla and Jeremy, my eyes pulled toward his family table. Alice and Jasper sat talking with their heads close together, which reassured me that Edward hadn't lied to me about going camping with his other siblings. Even so, the gloom still engulfed me every time I realized how long I would have to wait until I saw him again.

Three days felt like forever.

Half expecting Alice to come sit with me, as she did look for me and wave her hand enthusiastically when our eyes met, when she didn't I felt strangely trapped. Everyone was full of our plans for Saturday. Makalya was animated again, putting a great deal of trust in the local weatherman who promised that there would be sun tomorrow. I'd have to see it before I could believe it, but it was warmer today – possibly even sixty degrees. Maybe the trip wouldn't be completely miserable.

When I finished eating, Alice started waving me over, and for whatever reason I stayed where I was. Whether it was the way Jasper looked like his eyes might burn out of his skull if I moved closer, or everyone would stare at me for being the one person 'welcomed' to the Cullen table, I couldn't bring myself to move.

Deep down, I knew it was another reason that held me frozen in my seat. The moment the pixie Cullen started looking at me, Edward's words echoed through my head. That Alice was 'happy for us'. What did that even mean? What if she started talking about us? Sending cautious smiles, eventually Alice scoffed playfully from afar and stopped trying to flag me down like an airplane.

At this point, I intercepted a few unfriendly glances from Logan, which I didn't fully understand until we were all moving away from the table to dump our trays. I was right behind him, just a foot away, and he was evidently well aware of that fact.

"I don't know why Beau" – He sneered my name – "doesn't just go sit with the Cullens. He's 'clearly' better than we are."

He hissed to Makayla and Jeremy like a cartoon snake, and my eyes momentarily widened. Until this moment, I'd never noticed what an unpleasant, nasally, voice he had. The thick malice in his tone caught me so off guard that my mouth hung open. I really didn't know him well at all, but, surely I hadn't done anything to make him dislike me?

"He's my friend, Logan," Makayla whispered back, and while I was grateful for her loyally, her tone was weirdly territorial that it made me uncomfortable. When I stopped walking, Allen and Erica slowly passed by me, and I let them leave. Not wanting to hear anymore of what Logan had to say.

Which was when Alice caught me, or more accurately, spun to stand in front of the door before I had a chance to leave it. Her eyes were like the sun – bright, enthusiastic, and vivid. They were so intense that I immediately averted my eyes down to the ground, where I noticed how she was practically dancing on the balls of her feet. Her gorgeous, heeled, ankle-boots distracting me from the sea of sneakers and rain-boots around us. Her soft, bell-like, voice finally pulled my eyes up from the floor.

"Hey, Beau!" Alice cheered. Thankfully, the joy had waned enough from her eyes that holding her eye contact was more comfortable for me.

I swallowed, uncomfortably. "Hey, Alice."

She moved out of focus, to tug on the arm of someone else – Jasper. He looked as equally unnerved to be here as I was, and only gave me a strangely reserved, almost lordly, nod of greeting.

Wishing I could escape, even though I was kind of happy to see her again, my tongue swelled up as she tiptoed closer to me. Her natural gracefulness made me uneasy.

"Soooooo?" Alice almost sang the question.

"What?"

Alice shook her head, bemusedly. Her black, pixie, hair spun around her head like tiny satin ribbons. "How did it go?"

If I could have felt more stupid, I probably would have. "How did 'what' go?"

Alice sighed, looking at Jasper with one eye sheepishly narrowed. For some reason my concern had melted away, to the point where I only felt an airy felicity at her company.

Maybe because Alice was leading us outside, away from the populace, and away from where Makayla, Logan, Jeremy and their other friends were talking. I followed her, if only to avoid Logan's not-so-subtle malice.

"Don't worry about them," Alice reassured me, a giggle bubbling up from her throat. "They're just jealous."

"Yeah, I guess," I said, not wholly aware of why they would be jealous if they seemed to loathe the Cullens. All of their family were so very gorgeous, though, so that didn't exactly surprise me.

Unbeknownst to me, Jasper stayed near the cafeteria door. I didn't notice he wasn't with us until Alice began to barrage me with her question again. "So?"

Confused,i bit my lip. "'So'?"

She rolled her eyes. "Tell me how it went! What happened after Edward took you home? Come on, you can tell me, no one's listening."

I looked around to be sure, just to double check, and sure enough – Jasper had given us privacy. He looked like he was in pain, lurking away from everyone by one of the pillars holding up the rain-roofed walkways.

Even with being alone with Alice, who was 'in' on whatever 'this' was, I felt my tongue swelling up and swallowed uncomfortably. "We worked on our Biology assignment. Was something else supposed to happen?"

Alice looked at me incredulously and sighed. As though she already knew what had happened and had caught me sputtering the worst lie imaginable. "You don't have to play dumb with me."

Fire burned in my blood. Edward must have told her about yesterday – there was no other explanation that made sense – and it infuriated me. The complete lack of trust or consideration stunned me into silence.

Blinking feebly to try and contain my angry tears, for some reason Alice must have thought this was adorable, because she kept giggling quietly at me behind her hand. Giggling at 'stupid Beau' trying not to cry.

"I don't have any idea what you're talking about, Alice," the words fumed from me, and Alice bit her lip. Looking down at her feet dejectedly.

"If you're not brave enough to say it, fine. But, no one else can hear us and you can trust me."

I really wanted to; but, the anger I felt at Edward blabbing to his sister stung me too deeply to immediately forgive. My brow knitted together, my jaw tightened. Firming my lips into a hard line before I could finally speak. Which wasn't more than a few seconds after her, even though it felt so much longer than it was.

"Okay, I'll say it. Why are you 'okay' with this? What about 'this' is so" – I struggled for the words, mostly as an excuse to dab the corner of my eyes with my sleeve – "exciting' for you?"

Alice furrowed her brows, discombobulated at my question. "Why shouldn't it be?"

What kind of a question was that?! Was she mocking me? Mocking us?

Too afraid to find out the answer, I couldn't will myself to say anything. As though if I moved my lips in any direction, Alice would go into an affectionately mean rant of why she didn't feel like Edward and I had to hide our 'friendship'.

So it was with great surprise to me when Alice raised her arms and gently patted my shoulders with her gloved hands. Tenderly combating the secret qualm I felt with a beaming expression of compassion for me. Never having had a sibling – or even a close friend – who went out of their way to reassure me, the sisterly gesture bewildered me. Rendering me stupefied; to the point where my mouth fell half-open from the shock of it.

There was nothing, in that moment, that I yearned for more than to trust the unadulterated sincerity pouring from her strangely golden eyes.

"Beau," she began to say in soft, kind, tones. "My brother has never had a 'friend' before. Or, someone he wanted to be his 'friend' this much. You're all he thinks about."

He hasn't? I was?

It was pathetic how quickly the anger waned within me. How easy the ire had been washed away by the joyous thrumming of my heart dancing around in my chest. Alice must have seen my expression soften, because the happiness in her eyes danced like candlelight. With a gentle nod, her gloved fingers slid from my shoulders, and she swayed on the balls of her feet as she answered the joy plastered over my face.

Perhaps sensing that if she hit the nail on the head one more time that my face might explode, Alice mercifully changed the subject. "He's been playing the piano again."

Edward played the piano?

"He has?"

"Mmmhmm," Alice practically sang again. Mischievously wrinkling her nose at me before something melancholy drained into her pensive gaze. "He hasn't had any desire to play in a very long time."

There was something that Alice wasn't saying, even as it hung on the precipice I couldn't quite guess what it was until she spoke further. Her bottom lip mildly trembling from unease as she did so. "Promise me you won't hurt him?"

Alice clearly cared a great deal for her brother and I found myself weirdly jealous. It made me wonder what it would be like to have a sister care that much about me. To be so concerned for my happiness.

An infliction I never expected to feel filtered through me. In my worry of whether Edward and I would be accepted, it never occurred to me that I could reject him, and that rejection would hurt his family. I'd feared the opposite so much that the idea of Alice being wounded on Edward's behalf nearly stole the breath out of me.

"I – I would never want to hurt him, Alice," I promised; more contrite than I could remember being in my life.

"I know," she said, so happily and with such assuredy that it boggled me. She smirked playfully at me, in her bouncy fairy way, as if all memory of pain was instantly forgotten. "But, if I don't give you both a poke now and then, you boys will never 'take the plunge'."

Those words sounded so dangerously ominous that my tongue began to swell up again. "The Plunge?"

Thankfully, Alice ignored my question and just kept on excitedly babbling. "I swear, Edward will probably burn all my shoes when he finds out I'm meddling. He's far too bullheaded for his own good, sometimes." She turned to me, tilting her head so that her animated dark hair framed her face again. She was so infectious to look at – I couldn't help myself from smiling when she grinned at me.

"He is kind of stubborn," I seconded, knowing full well that school was not the place to ask about relationships – or his van-stopping superpowers.

Alice chuckled at me. "You have no idea. I'll make him buy me new shoes, for me, anyway."

I just blinked. Shoes? Clothes? This kind of thing really didn't interest me, and Alice pursed her lip in a thoughtful scowl the second my expression waned.

"Figures. The one person my brother wants to bring home, and he has an equal aversion to fashion."

Was I ugly? Did I look like a lumberjack or something? My eyes trailed down at my olive coat, gray thermal shirt, and jeans. It wasn't that bad, was it? Who was I kidding, Alice dressed like she stole clothes off the rack of a New York fall collection.

She smirked, sizing me up, and trying to reached upward to fluff my hair!

"Ah!What are you doing?"

Alice giggled. "Just seeing what nature blessed me to work with," she teased as she tilted her head to one side. "I have this blue tux that my brother would kill to see you in."

My eyes widened in horror; she wanted me to be her Ken doll?! "What? Wh-w-what do you mean?"

Alice scoffed at me, playfully. "Fine, fine, but on your next trip to Seattle, you and I are going to go shopping."

The idea of hours of dressing rooms made my stomach knot. How on earth could I say no to that hopeful face?

Thankfully, the fates were kind to me. "Alice, you're making him green."

A voice I'd never heard before spoke a little bit away from us, and I looked to see Jasper padding toward us. For some reason I felt calmer, safe, and warm. Maybe going shopping with Alice wouldn't be as terrible as shopping with my mom? After all, what were the chances of Alice bringing me a T-shirt with a sassy Duck on the front 'because it's just so cute'? Taking in Alice's attire, a fear hit me that I would probably come home covered in ruffles. Although, for some reason that thought didn't bother me as much as it might have a minute ago.

"Jazzy," Alice said, her face lighting up from the moment she heard Jasper's voice. "Don't you think Beau is wearing the entirely wrong color?"

Jasper's face knotted up in pain, and for a second I thought we had the same facial expression. "Not if he likes it."

Alice sighed softly. "Oh, you're no fun."

"I'm sorry, ma'am," The happiness in his voice was like melting honey. "Can't be helped."

It was so strange to be a third wheel and not feel uncomfortable. Their happiness made me happy, and I relished in the tranquility of their company. Even as Alice scoffed from the losing argument of trying to discuss fashion with a boy, she danced merrily and engulfed him in her arms.

Jasper looked uncomfortable to be hugged in public; but, otherwise resplendent to be held. For a few moments, I didn't miss Edward so badly. Still, this happy pair reminded me that he wouldn't be in Biology today. He was probably having a great time in the mountains, and here I was, moping around like a sad clown.

"I think he is," Alice suddenly said, looking at me.

I blinked from surprise. "What?"

"Oh, nothing." Alice smirked at me sheepishly before her gaze rose to absorb Jasper's face. "I was just saying that Edward, Emmett, and Rosalie go hiking in Goat Rocks a lot. We usually join them, but Jasper and I had an assignment to do."

I really hadn't asked; but, it was nice to hear that her family was going to have a fun weekend. Alice let go of Jasper now, leaning on his arm like she was a cat and he was a wall corner she decided to rub her face against.

"It's nice to meet you, Beau," Jasper finally greeted, and I offered a reassuring nod his way. Alice's smile was so nice, that for a second I remembered Jeremy's 'game' of who I would take to a dance if I had to choose. The answer was clearly Edward, if only he was a girl. However, Alice would be a close second. If only because she was so easy to be around, was absolutely smitten with someone else, and had a pleasant, sweet, personality. I felt like maybe we could be better friends someday, and the thought brought a smile to my face. Jeremy seemed to like -all- cute girls that way. With a grimace I shook my head, ridding myself of that thought.

"Same."

Alice turned around, nestling herself against Jasper's stomach for a backwards hug. "So, Jasper, Beau may start coming around our house more often – do you think you can convince Rosalie to be nice?"

My stomach lurched, remembering Rosalie's unpleasant 'Logan-esque' stare at me.

"I'll certainly try," he wryly replied, and Alice danced on the balls of her feet without actually moving more than a little sway in answer. I hadn't even been asked to go to their house, but if Edward wanted me to come over it might be the safest place for us to spend time together.

"It's settled then!" Alice said with a grin. "See you around, Beau!"

They started off, then, walking and dancing away from me before I could say anything more. I didn't quite understand why until the Lunch bell rang. They all had such strangely impeccable awareness of whenever class started and ended.

Not wanting to call out after them and be noticed, I watched the happiest pair in the world until Alice split off to go to a different building, and I scurried away to Biology.

That night, at dinner, Charlie seemed very enthusiastic about my trip to La Push in the morning. I think he felt guilty for leaving me home alone on the weekends; but, he'd spent too many years building his habits to break them now. Of course, he already knew all the names of the kids going – along with their parents and possibly their great grandparents too. He seemed to approve, and I wondered to myself if he would approve of my plan to ride to Seattle with Edward. Not that I was going to tell him about it…

"Hey, Dad, do you know a place called Goat Rocks? Or something like that? I think it's south of Mount Rainier?" I asked him casually, eating the last of the leftover enchiladas.

"Yeah, why do you ask?"

I shrugged, playing it off as best I could. "Some kids I know were talking about camping there."

"Hrm, that is -not- a good place for camping," he mentioned, sounding surprised. "Far too many bears in those parts. Most people only go up there during the hunting season."

"Oh," I murmured quietly. "Maybe I misheard them."

After the lack of sleep the previous night, I thought I might sleep in, but an unusual brightness woke me. Opening my eyes, I saw a clear yellow light streaming through my window. I couldn't believe it, and I rushed from my bed to check. Sure enough, there was the sun! It was in the wrong place in the sky, too low and not as close as it should be; but, it was definitely the sun. Clouds ringed the horizon; but, a large patch of blue was visible in the middle.

Lingering by the window as long as I could, even sitting in my mom's rocking chair for a while, I watched with an unspoken trepidation that if I left the window the beautiful blue in the sky would disappear again.

Olympic Outfitters, the Newton's sporting goods store, was just north of town. I'd seen the store in passing; but, I'd never stopped there. Not having much of a need for any supplies required for being outdoors over an extended period of time.

In the parking lot, I recognized Makayla's Suburban and Taylor's Sentra as I pulled up next to their vehicles. I could see a group standing around in front of the Suburban. Erica was there, along with two other boys I had class with. I was fairly sure their names were Ben and Conner. Jeremy was there, flanked by Allen and Logan. Three girls stood with them, including one I remembered falling over in Gym on Friday. That one gave me a dirty look as I got out of the truck and whispered something to Logan. Who of course ran his fingers through his short blonde hair, and eyed me scornfully. Great. So it was going to be one of -those- days.

At least Makayla and Allen were happy to see me.

"Beau! You came!" she called, delightedly. "I -told you- it would be sunny today, didn't I!"

"Yeah, you were right," I enthused more than I felt with Logan and the girl loathing me.

"We're just waiting for Lee and Samantha, unless you invited someone?" Makayla questioned.

"No, Alice had plans this weekend, their whole family went camping," I said, making it a point not to mention Edward's name around Makayla for the sake of her pride. Makayla looked happily satisfied and I rued to myself that Edward or Alice – who I completely hadn't asked – would magically show up.

"Will you ride in my car? It's that or Lee's mom's Minivan."

"Your car sounds great, Makayla, thanks."

She smiled blissfully, and it was a relief to see how easy it was to make Makayla happy.

"You can have shotgun," she promised, and I held up my hands and shook my head playfully to hide my chagrin. It wasn't as easy to make Makayla and Jeremy happy and I could already feel him glowering at us now.

"No way, I already promised Jeremy shotgun," I enthused, glancing at Jeremy to see if he would be willing to take the bait and ask. It took him a few seconds, but he perked up and walked over from Logan.

"Yeah, he totally did! Thanks, Beau."

Reassured that Jeremy wasn't completely won over by whatever venom Logan was spewing, I felt a light smile creep over my face in victory.

The numbers ended up working out in my favor, though. Lee brought two extra people, and suddenly every seat was necessary. I managed to encourage Jeremy to sit in the middle of Makayla and I, in the front seat of the Suburban. Makayla seemed to be a little disappointed about it, but I kept giving her friendly smiles and 'thumbs up' gestures whenever she looked my way to show how I was glad to be here.

Jeremy and Makayla chattered constantly, which was wonderful. I didn't have to talk very much.

The drive to La Push from Forks was only about fifteen miles. Gorgeous, dense, green forests edging the road most of the way made the drive more wonderful. The wide Quillayute River snaking beneath us twice. I was glad I had the window seat and that we'd rolled the windows down. The Suburban was a bit claustrophobic with nine people in it and I wanted to absorb as much sunlight as possible.

I'd been to the beach around La Push before, many times during my Summers with Charlie, so the mile-long crescent of First Beach was familiar to me. It was still breathtaking. The water was dark gray, even in the sunlight, white-capped and heaving against the rocky shore. Islands rose out of the steel harbor waters with sheer cliff sides, reaching to uneven summits, and crowned with austere, soaring, firs. The beach only had a thin border of actual sand at the water's edge, after which it drew into millions of large, smooth, stones that looked uniform-ally gray from the distance; but, up closer they were every shade a stone could be: terracotta, sea green, lavender, blue gray, dull gold. The tide line was strewn with large driftwood trees, bleached bone white in the salt waves, some piled together against the edge of the forest fringe. Some laying just solitary, just out of reach of the waves.

There was a brisk wind coming off the waves; cool and briny. Pelicans floated on the swells while seagulls and a lone eagle wheeled above them. The clouds still circled the sky, threatening to invade at any moment; but, for now the sun shone bravely in its halo of blue sky. We picked our way down to the beach, Makayla leading the way to a ring of driftwood logs that had obviously been used for parties like ours before. There was a fire circle already in place, filled with black ashes. Erica and a girl I thought was named Becca gathered broken branches of driftwood from the drier places along the forest edge, and soon had a teepee-shaped construction built atop the old cinders.

"Have you ever seen a driftwood fire, Beau?" Makayla asked me. I was sitting on one of the bone-colored 'benches', the girls were clustered and gossiping excitedly, on the other side of me. Makayla knelt by the fire, lighting one of the smaller sticks with a cigarette lighter.

"No, just regular wood," I said as she placed the blazing twig carefully against the teepee of wood.

"You'll like this then. Watch the colors." She lit another small branch, and laid it alongside the first. The flames started to lick quickly up the sides of the dry wood.

"It's blue," I said in surprise.

"The salt does it. Pretty, isn't it?" She lit one more piece, placed it where the fire hadn't yet caught, and then came to sit by me. Thankfully, Jeremy was on her other side. He turned to her, eagerly claimed her full attention, and I took a breath of relief. I watched the strange blue and green flames crackle toward the sky, content that no one was trying to talk to me for a little while.

After a half hour of chatter, some of the boys wanted to hike to the nearby tidal pools. It was a dilemma for me. On the one hand, I loved the tide pools. They had fascinated me since I was little – one of the only things I ever looked forward to about coming to Forks as a child. On the other hand, I'd fallen into them a lot. Not a big deal when you're seven with your dad; but, it reminded me of Edward's sincere request for me to keep myself from falling into the ocean.

Logan was the one who made my decision for me. He didn't want to hike and he was definitely wearing the wrong shoes for it. Most of the other guys besides Allen and Jeremy decided to stay on the beach as well. The idea of being anywhere with Logan without a buffer made up my mind completely. I waited until Taylor and Erica made their decision before I got up quietly to join the pro-hiking group. Makayla gave me a huge smile when she saw I was coming, and I returned the warmth before looking at Erica and Allen. Who had gotten really close, lately.

Who knew I had a gift for matchmaking?

The hike wasn't too long, though I hated to lose sight of the sky while we went through the woods. The green light of the forest was strangely at odds with the adolescent laughter – too murky and ominous to be in harmony with the light banter around me. I had to watch each step I took very carefully, avoiding roots below and the branches above. Soon I fell behind, straggling from the back of the group. Eventually I broke through the emerald confines of the forest and found the rocky shore again. It was low tide and a tidal river flowed past us on its way to the sea. Along its pebbled banks, shallow pools that never completely drained were teeming with life.

Extra cautious not to lean too far over the little ocean ponds, amazement still captured me after all these years. The others were fearless – leaping over the rocks or perching precariously on the edges. I found a very stable-looking rock on the fringe of one of the largest pools and I sat there cautiously spellbound by the natural aquarium below me. The bouquets of brilliant anemones undulated ceaselessly in the invisible current, twisted shells scurried about the edges, obscuring the crabs within them, starfish stuck motionless to the rocks and each other, while one black eel with white racing stripes wove through the bright green weeds, waiting for the sea to return. I was completely absorbed, except for one part of my mind that wondered what Edward was doing now, and trying to imagine what he would be saying if he were here with me.

Eventually, the others were hungry and I got up stiffly to follow them back. I tried to keep up with the group better this time through the woods, so naturally I fell a few times. I got some shallow scrapes on my palms and the knees of my jeans were stained green; but, it could have been a lot worse.

When we got back to First Beach, the group we'd left behind had multiplied. As we got closer, we could see the shining, black hair and copper skin of the newcomers. Teenagers from the reservation who had come by to socialize.

As we entered the driftwood circle, food was already being passed around, and the others hurried to claim a share while Erica introduced us. Allen, Erica, and I were the last to arrive, and as Erica said our names, I noticed a girl sitting on the shores near the fire glance up at me in interest. I sat down next to Allen and Makayla brought us sandwiches and an array of sodas to chose from, while a boy who looked to be the oldest of the visitors rattled off the names of the other seven with him. All I caught was that one of the guys was also named Jeremy, and the girl who noticed me was Julie.

It was relaxing to sit with Allen, he was a restful person to be around, as he didn't feel the need to fill every silence with chatter. He left me free to think undisturbed while we ate, and I was thinking about how disjointedly time seemed to flow in Forks – passing in a blur at times, with single images standing out more clearly than others. At other times, every second was significant, etched in my mind. I knew exactly what had caused the difference and it unsettled me. During lunch the clouds started to advance, slinking across the blue sky, darting in front of the sun momentarily and causing long shadows across the beach; blackening the waves.

As they finished eating, people started to drift away in twos and threes. Some walked down to the edge of the waves, trying to skip rocks across the choppy surface of the ocean. Others were gathering for a second expedition of the tide pools. Makayla – with Jeremy shadowing her – headed up to the one shop in the village nearby. Some of the local kids went with them while others went along for the hike. By the time they all scattered, I was sitting alone on my driftwood log, with Logan and Taylor occupying themselves with a CD player someone had thought to bring, and three teenagers from the reservation perched around the circle. Including Julie and the oldest boy, who had acted as a spokesperson.

A few minutes after Allen and Erica left with the hikers, Julie sauntered over to take his place by my side. She looked my age and had long – glossy – black hair pulled back with a rubber-band at the mane of her neck. Her skin was beautiful, silky and russet-colored. Her eyes were dark, set above the high planes of her cheekbones. She still had just a hint of childish roundness left around her chin. Altogether, a very pretty face. However, my positive opinion of her looks was damaged by the first words out of her mouth.

"You're Beaufort Swan, aren't you?"

Ah, it was just like the first day of school all over again.

"I know you. I'm Julie Black" – she held her hand out in a friendly gesture" –you bought my dad's truck."

"Oh," I said, relieved, shaking her sleek hand. "You're Billy's daughter, then. Wow, I didn't recognize you."

"I think you spent more time with my brothers."

"Adam and Even," I suddenly recalled with enthusiasm. Charlie and Billy had thrown us together a lot during my visits to keep us busy while they fished. We were all too shy to make much progress as friends. Of course, I'd kicked up enough tantrums to end the fishing trips by the time I was eleven.

"Are they here?" I asked, examining the water's edge.

"No," Julie shook her head. "Adam got a scholarship to Washington State and Even married a Samoan surfer. He lives in Hawaii now."

"Married. Wow," I was a little stunned. The twins were a little over a year older than I was, if I remembered correctly.

"So, how do you like the truck?" She asked.

"I love him, he runs great."

Julie seemed to raise an eyebrow at me calling the truck 'he', but she didn't comment. "Yeah, but it's really slow," she laughed. "I was so relieved when Charlie bought it. My dad wouldn't let me work on building another car when we had a 'perfectly good vehicle' right there."

"He's not that slow..." I objected.

"Have you tried to go over sixty?"

"No," I said with a laugh.

"Good. Don't," she grinned.

I couldn't help but grin back, her smile was infectious. "He does great in a collision though," I offered in the Beast's defense.

"Yeah, I don't think a tank could take out that monster," she agreed with another laugh.

"He's a good Beast,' I said, and Julie chuckled. "So, you build cars?"

"When I have the free time and the parts. You wouldn't happen to know where I could get my hands on a master cylinder for a 1986 Volkswagen Rabbit?" She asked jokingly, her voice pleasantly husky as she spoke.

I snorted. "Sorry, all you just said was alien code." Julie was very easy to talk to, and she flashed me a brilliant smile – looking at me appreciatively in a way I was learning to recognize. Unfortunately, I wasn't the only one who noticed that Julie had taken a shine to me.

"You know Beau, Julie?" Logan asked, in what I imagined was an insolent tone, from across the fire-pit.

"We've sort of known each other since we were born," she laughed, smiling at me again.

"How nice." Logan replied, with heavy sarcasm in his nasally voice, his fishy eyes narrowing.

"Beau," he called again, watching my face carefully. "I was just saying to Taylor that it's too bad the Cullens couldn't come out today. Didn't anyone think to invite them?" His expression of fake concern wasn't convincing. Did he not hear the excuse I gave to Makayla?

Before I could answer, someone else spoke. The tall, older, boy – much to Logan's irritation. He was closer to a man than a boy and his voice was very deep.

"You mean Dr. Carlisle Cullen's family?"

"Yes, do you know them?" He asked condescendingly, turning half-way toward him.

"The Cullens don't come here," he said with such authority to his tone that it closed the subject instantly.

What did that even mean? 'The Cullens don't come here'.

Taylor, trying to win back Logan's attention, asked his opinion on a CD she held up. Blessedly distracted from whatever point he was hoping to make, I stared at the deep-voiced boy. Still taken aback, I hoped his face might reveal more but, he was looking out toward the dark forest behind us. While he only said the Cullens didn't come here, his tone implied something more, like 'they weren't allowed' or 'prohibited' from being here. It left a strange impression on me, and I tried to ignore it without success.

Julie interrupted my vexation. "So, is Forks driving you insane yet?"

My eyes playfully widened in exasperation. "You have no idea," I said with a grimace and she grinned with understanding.

Still turning over the brief comment that the older boy made about the Cullens, I had a sudden inspiration. It was a really stupid plan; but, I didn't have any better ideas. I could only hope that Julie was inexperienced around guys so that she wouldn't see through my sure-to-be-pitiful attempts at flirting.

"Do you want to talk down the beach with me, Julie?" I asked, trying to imitate the way Edward looked up from underneath his long eyelashes. It clearly couldn't have the same effect, of that I was certain, but Julie jumped up willingly enough.

As we walked north across the multi-hued stones towards the driftwood seawall, the clouds finally closed ranks across the sky – causing the sea to perpetually darken and the temperature to drop. I shoved my hands deep into the pockets of my jacket.

"So, you're what, eighteen?" I asked, trying not to look like an idiot as I smiled the way I'd seen guys do it on TV.

"Nah, I just turned seventeen," she confessed, clearly flattered.

"Really?" My face was full of false surprise. "I would have thought you were older."

"I'm taller than most," she explained, which wasn't a lie, but she wasn't exactly six feet tall, either.

"Do you come up to Forks much?" I asked archly, as if I was hoping for a 'yes'. I sounded despairingly stupid to myself, and I was afraid she would turn on me with disgust and accuse me of my fraud, but she still seemed naively flattered.

"Not too much," she admitted with a frown. "But, when I get the car finished I can go up as much as I want."

"That sounds great," I replied as enthusiastically as I could, before trying to pivot the subject. "Who was that boy that Logan was talking to? He seemed a little old to be hanging out with us," I purposefully lumped myself in with the youngsters, trying to make it clear I preferred Julie.

"That's Sam. He's almost twenty," Julie informed me.

"What did he mean by 'The Cullens don't come here'?" I asked in as comically gruff a voice of imitation as I could muster.

Julie snickered. "You caught that, did you?" She paused, then shrugged. "They aren't supposed to come onto the Reservation." She mentioned, looking away toward James Island, as she confirmed what I thought I heard in Sam's voice.

"How come?"

She glanced back at me, biting on her lip. "I'm not supposed to say anything about that."

"Oh," I tried to sound as flirty as possible. "Well, I'm not gonna tell anybody, I'm just curious," I tried to make my smile alluring, but I wondered if I was laying it on too thick.

She smiled back, though, looking quite allured. Then lifted one eyebrow, and her voice was huskier than before.

"That depends, do you like scary stories?" She teased me ominously.

"I love them," I enthused, making an effort to smolder at her. Julie strolled to a nearby driftwood tree that had its roots sticking out like the attenuated legs of a huge, pale, spider. She perched lightly on one of the twisted roots while I sat beneath her on the body of the tree. She stared down at the rocks, a smile hovering around the edges of her full lips. I could see she was going to try to make this entertaining. I focused on keeping the 'vital interest' that I felt pooling out of my eyes.

"Do you know any of our old Quileute legends, about where we came from?"

"Not really," I admitted.

"Well, there are a lot of legends, some of them claiming to date back to the Flood. Supposedly the ancient Quileutes tied their canoes to the tallest trees on the mountain to survive like Noah and the ark," she smiled cheekily, to show me how little stock she put in these histories.

"Another legend claims we descended from wolves, and that the wolves are our brothers still. It's against tribal law to kill them," she paused to take a breath.

"Then there are the stories about the 'cold ones'," her voice dropped lower.

"The 'cold ones'?" I asked, not faking my intrigue now.

"Yes. There are stories of the cold ones as old as the wolf legends, and some are much more recent. According to the legend, my own great-grandfather knew some of them. He was the one who made the treaty that kept them off of our land." She rolled her eyes.

"Your great-grandfather?" I encouraged.

"He was a tribal elder, like my father. You see, the cold ones are the natural enemies of the wolf. Well, not the wolf, really, but the wolves that turn into men – our ancestors. You could call them 'werewolves'."

"Werewolves have enemies, huh?" I asked, knowing from some horror movies how that went along, but those were silly Hollywood entertainment I didn't put much stock into.

"Only one."

I stared at her earnestly, hoping to disguise my impatience to know as admiration.

"So you see," Julie continued, "the cold ones are traditionally our enemies. But this 'pack' that came into our territory during my great-grandfather's time was different. They didn't hunt the way others of their kind did. They weren't supposed to be dangerous to the tribe. So my great-grandfather made a truce with them. If they promised to stay off of our lands, we wouldn't expose what they were to the pale-faces." She winked at me, who was clearly a pale face if she ever saw one.

"If they aren't supposed to be dangerous, then why are you trying to scare me?" I teased, struggling not to let her see how seriously I was considering her silly ghost story.

"Well, there's always a risk for humans to be around 'cold ones', even if they're civilized like this 'pack' was. You never know when they might get too thirsty to resist…" She deliberately worked a thick edge of menace into her tone.

"What do you mean by 'civilized'?"

"They claimed they didn't hunt humans and preyed on animals instead."

I tried to keep my voice casual. "So, how does that fit into the Cullens? Are they like the cold ones your great-grandfather met?"

"No," she paused dramatically. "They're, supposedly, the same ones." She must of thought the expression on my face was fear inspired by her story. She smiled, pleased at herself, and continued.

"In my great-grandfather's time they already knew of the leader, Carlisle. He'd been here and gone before your people arrived." She was fighting a smile, still trying hard to spook me.

"And what are they?" I finally asked. "What exactly are the 'cold ones'?"

She smiled darkly. "Blood drinkers," she replied in a chilling voice. "Vampires."

I stared out at the rough surf after she answered, not sure what my easy to read face was exposing. I did know from the few movies about vampires that I'd seen that they had super strength, but the dazzling, mesmerizing, hypnotism? Yes. Had Edward been hypnotizing me? Did he really care about me? Is that why he went to Goat Rocks? To hunt animals?

"You have goosebumps," she laughed delightedly.

"Well, you're a good storyteller," I complimented her, still staring into the waves.

"Pretty crazy stuff, though, isn't it? No wonder my dad doesn't want us to talk to anyone about it."

"So, he thinks the stories are real?" I pressed, not looking at her.

Julie scoffed, chuckling at me. "My dad's kind of a crackpot, but our legends are all he has."

"I guess you just violated the treaty, then," I teased.

She covered her mouth and snickered. "Oops."

"Don't worry, I won't give you away," I reassured, sincerely, even if I couldn't control my expression enough to risk looking at her yet.

"Seriously, though, don't say anything to Charlie. He was pretty mad at my dad when he heard we weren't going to the hospital because Dr. Cullen started working there."

So that's why Charlie was upset. "I won't, of course not."

"So, do you think we're a bunch of superstitious natives, or what?" she asked in a playful tone; but, with a hint of worry to her voice. I still hadn't looked away from the ocean. My thoughts ran heavily from what she'd told me.

I turned and smiled to her as warmly as I could. "No. I think you're very good at telling scary stories, though. I mean, look, I still have goosebumps," I said as I raised my arm, lying to her face as I raised my arm for her to see.

"Cool," she smiled.

It was then that the sound of the beach rocks clattering against each other warned us that someone else was approaching. Our heads snapped up at the same time to see Makayla and Jeremy about fifty yards away, walking toward us.

"There you are, Beau!" Makayla called warmly in relief, waving her arm over her head.

"Is that your girlfriend?" Julie whispered to me, alerted by the jealous edge in Makayla's voice. I was surprised it was so obvious to her.

"No way. My friend Jeremy likes her," I whispered back, pointing to Jeremy. Tremendously grateful to Julie, I was eager to make her as happy as I could. Playfully winking at her, or weirdly blinking from the attempt at winking, I turned away from Julie to look at Makayla and wave.

"So, when I get my car fixed up?"

"You should definitely come see me in Forks. We could hang out sometime," I said, feeling guilt overwhelm me as I spoke – knowing how raw I'd used her. I really liked Julie, she could easily be someone I could be friends with, but I didn't feel any deeper for her and couldn't.

Makayla had reached us now, with Jeremy a few paces back. I could see her eyes appraising the 'competition', and looking genuinely concerned.

"Where have you been?" She asked, even though the answer was obviously in front of her face.

"Julie was just telling me some of the local stories," I volunteered. "About the beach," I corrected, in case Makayla wanted to hear them. "It was really interesting."

I smiled warmly at Julie, and she grinned back.

"Well," Makayla paused, clearly uneasy as she watched my camaraderie. "We're packing up, it looks like it's going to rain soon."

We all looked up at the glowering, ominous, sky. It certainly did look like rain, and I frowned.

"Alright," I jumped up. "Hang on, I'm coming."

"It was nice to see you again," Julie said, and I could tell she was taunting Makayla just a little bit.

"It really was, next time Charlie comes down to see Billy, I'll come, too." I promised.

"That would be awesome!"

Julie stood when I did and it was a little uncomfortable when she wrapped her lanky arms around me. But, I hugged her back with enough enthusiasm to reassure her of my sincerity without overwhelming Makayla's jealous nature.

"And thanks, for telling me," I added, earnestly.

Julie walked with us as I pulled up my hood, trampling across the rocks toward the parking lot. A few drops were beginning to fall, making black spots on the stones where they landed. When we got back to the Suburban, the others were already loading everything back inside. I crawled into the backseat with Allen and Erica – announcing that I'd already had my turn in the shotgun position.

Allen just stared out the window at the escalating storm, when he wasn't talking with Erica. I noticed they were holding hands and smiled to myself. It was good to have the other window seat. Logan was in the middle seat in front of me, occupying Taylor's attention, so I could simply lay my head back and close my eyes. Trying desperately not to overthink, to no avail.

The Cullens were vampires. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense.

Carlisle being so young, adopting 'children' who were nearly grown, and living in the same house together. How fast Edward was able to get across the parking lot and shove the blue van to save me – a vampire could sometimes have inexplicable abilities. The way his eyes were gold or black, that wasn't normal either. He could see all the way across the school and parking lot when Makayla was helping me to the nurse's office. How fast he got our bags after school. Why his family never sat with anyone else.

Edward, Alice, Jasper, all of them. They were vampires.

My mind drifted back to the lunch table, Alice taking a sip of Pepsi, only to lower the can and it was completely full. No wonder they had so much money to spend – they rarely had to waste money on food.

It haunted me most, as I pretended to sleep in the car, to be so uncertain of myself. Were my feelings genuine? Or was I just mesmerized by some vampire spell?