SHADOW

"there is no light without SHADOW

just as there is no happiness without pain"

-Isabel Allende-

"sinking slowly like in a trance

struggle but it's all ocean floor

every moment becomes eternity

film it now

do you hear me yeah?"

-BTS-black swan-

jungkook's POV

"it's like a SHADOW ,it almost took my life"i complained because im tired of that dream

"since when did you start to see it?"taehyung hyung asked

"like when i was three as i remember,i will never forget because according to my brother my parents died when i was three,and i saw it eversince that day,i missed the warmth of my mother and father,my world turned into black"

flashback

20 years ago

three years old jungkook was sleeping peacefully on the bed with eight years old brother in their grandmother's house because his parents went to soeul for a trip,little jungkook woke up as he heard the knocking sound,he woke up his older brother because he couldn't reach the knob of the door,his brother opened the door only to find his grandmother crying like a mess

"what happened grandma?why are you crying?"his elder brother asked from their grandma,jungkook couldn't understand a single thing,he only knew that his grandma was crying because she was sad

"granny,kooki-e wants granny smile big"he managed to tell those words with his broken language and he hugged her which made his grandma hug him tightly

"honey,let's go to the hospital ok?" grandma told to jungkook's brother

"what's happening grandma?what's wrong ?did grandfather get sick again?wasn't he alright yesterday" jungkook's hyung asked his grandma while rubbing his eyes

"no more questions"she said while wiping her tears away

-at the hospital-

jungkook's brother started to cry seeing his parents's lifeless bodies,jungkook couldn't understand why his hyung was crying when his parents were sleeping peacefully,crimson blood stains were on the white sheet which were covering there bodies,jungkook was about to touch his mother's hand when his grandma stop himself from touching her hand,time went by little jungkook missed his parents but he couldn't remember their death since he was so small when they left him alone with his grandparents

13 years ago

10 years old jungkook went to his brother's room to find ANSWERs,he was curious about his parents,middle school life annoyed him a lot since people used to bully him ,calling him with names like 'orphan'because whenever there was a parents-teachers meeting his grandparents attended ,so he finally thought of asking from his hyung,although whenever he asked his grandparents about his parents they answered with'they are living in america because of some business stuff',he couldn't believe that LIE,in which world parents treat their own children like this?he questioned himself ,his hatred towards his parents grew bigger day by day

"hyung where are those two people?" he asked from his brother

"what people?"his brother who was concentrating on drawing something asked jungkook

"our so called mother and father who else"he told ,he was a bit mature than a ten years old boy because he had to go through a lot

"respect them,you have no rights to call them like that" his brother yelled at him in a angry tone

"oh come on,people who are living in america who don't even return to korea,maybe they don't know that they have children"

"jungkook if you are not gonna respect your parents stop calling me brother"his brother was out of control,he regretted lying to jungkook in the first place he didn't want him to call their parents like that

"do you even know how much im going through ,everyone calls me 'orphan',you can't understand, i wish i can have a brother more caring than you,i wish i can have a brother who can understand me"jungkook broke into tears,those words of him broke his brother into pieces,'little do you know how much im going through' his brother thought

"come down,dinner is ready"their grandma called them from downstairs,his brother got up he hid the drawing under a book and went out ,leaving jungkook alone,jungkook was curious about the drawing,because normally his brother doesnt hide his drawings like that,he went to his brother's table and took it out,his eyes widen ,there was a boy sitting on a bench alone in a park with a hoodie, covering his whole face ,on the top'eomma and appa its been 7 years i know that you are not gonna return,i hope you two are together,rest in peace,i'll forever be alone without you two' jungkook couldn't hold himself,tears came rolling down his cheeks the hatred he had towards his parents vanished into the air,that's when he got his brother's pain,that's when he promised himself to be a doctor

with lots of questions he ran down the stairs,only to find his grandparents and his brother eating peacefully

"grandma ,why did you LIE?why didn't you tell me that they died?why did you hide it?ANSWER me?how did they die?"he shouted,crying out his eyes

"they gotten into an accident on the way to busan,doctors couldn't save them"she managed to tell without crying

"why did you hide grandma,don't you love me?"he asked

"honey,we couldn't break you,we didn't want to give you anymore pain,that's my own daughter but i don't even talk about her at home because of you,your brother he is also suffering but he doesn't want to make you cry,we don't want you to be sad"his grandma told while wiping away her tears,she wanted to be strong infront of two of them,even though she herself was not

"grandma,do you know how painful it is when people call you 'orphan' no right?do you know how painful it is when people bully you just because you don't have parents like them?its more painful grandma,it's more painful"he said

"honey,they don't know who you are,when you grow up no one ask you about your parents,they ask you about yourself,they only consider your personality so from now on try to be a better person"she said,for all these years her words rang through his mind,he wanted to be a better person

end of the flashback

"you mean like first of january 2000" taehyung hyung asked me out of blue

"yeah ,on every january first i visit their graves with my brother because grandma told me that they left this world in the midnight, how sad it was for my brother and grandparents because they left this world in 31 st night ,normally 31 st night is a joyful day but i swear not for them

"like how can you remember the exact date taehyung ?" jimin hyung asked from tae hyung

"that's my sister's birthday" he told looking down,whenever he tells something about his sister he looks down ,why is that?why is he not used to it? i thought

flashback -20 years ago

-daegu- 31.12.1999 - 12.15 am

on a lumpy body,dressed in red,sweet and sour flavour,stylish tomatoe(tomato),i'll be the juice(gulp),i'll be a ketchup at night,im going to dance(hey),over bearing tomato(tomato)~

mr,kim's phone rang,5 years old taehyung who was sleeping in his father's arms smiled hearing his favourite song, taehyung's father picked the phone

"hello,who is this?" taehyung's father asked wiping his eyes with his thumb

"hello mister,this is daegu private hospital ,we contacted the number you had given us to register your wife, sir your wife is about to give birth, she is expecting your presence here"

he heard from the other side,he rushed to the bathroom 'but that's not the given date it's supposed to be in the next week' he thought,he came out after dressing up

"appa,where are you going?" little taehyung asked sitting on the bed

"taehyungie come on let's go visit eomma,eomma is about to give birth to a little princess" he said while carrying taehyung who was giggling in excitememt

at the hospital

"doctor,doctor how is my wife?,is she fine?i thought it's in the next week,is she fine? " taehyung's father asked from the doctor who was about to enter the LDR room

"oh yeah she is fine,this is so sudden not like she is not fine this normally happens,don't worry,and i hope you can come inside the LDR room and support your wife" the doctor said

"but is it a normal birth? you told me that's gonna be a cesarean birth" mr.kim asked from the doctor

"yeah it was supposed to be,but we changed our decision" doctor said

"ah,what about taehyungie,he will be alone here" taehyung's father told while caressing little taehyung's cheeks

"i will tell a nurse don't worry mr.kim,oh then taehyungie is gonna get a sister right?"the doctor said smilling

(A.N- yeah i can write what happened in the labor room,but this is a bts ff so i don't think i have to write how she gave birth to tae's sister cuz tae is the main character here,don't you dare underestimate me,i did a lot of research and had read loads of books)

after two hours

"taehyungie come inside" taehyung's father screamed,taehyung ran inside the room,he was a bit scared because his mother and father were covered in blue clothes,he could recognize his mother but couldn't recognize his father because his father was wearing a mask

"oh taehyungie can't find me" taehyung's father complained

"pabo remove your mask,my child is confused" his mother said while signaling taehyung to come nearer,she tried to pick taehyung up but she wasn't strong,and also something bothered her

-few minutes ago-

the doctor turned the baby upside down and patted on her back to check her,but there wasn't any reaction,that made taehyung's mother scared

"doctor,is she fine?" she asked

"yeah think so she is breathing so why not?i'll take her to do some check ups ok? don't worry "

-end-

"pabo ya,be careful" his father told and picked taehyung up and put him on the bed,his mother wrapped her arms around him and rested her chin on the top of his head

"i miss you my dear,did you miss me?i thought about you all the time,im sorry i could't be there with my baby,did your father treat you well?" taehyung nodded his head to every question

"stop asking him questions,he was fine,i did my best to protect him ,we played lot of games,we enjoyed a lot weren't we tae tae?his father asked from taehyung who was busy with cuddling with his mother

"god,this boy forgot me the moment he saw you"taehyung's father told his mother,it made her tighten her grip around taehyung,the warmth of his mother made him happy

"taehyungie,you now have a sister ,take care of her no matter what" she said to the boy,but taehyung was a little bit jealous because people call his sister 'princess' and not him,he was scared to share his parents with another baby

suddenly the doctor came,he wasn't ready to ruin the happy family moment,but he couldn't hide the truth

"mr.kim can i talk to you for a bit" the doctor asked but taehyung's father was a little bit scared because of the doctor's face,he was scared to listen to any bad news about his baby,he nodded his head

"no,no tell anything here,don't hide anything from me doctor,what's wrong tell me?"taehyung's mother nearly screamed at the doctor

"don't scream,it's not good for your health mrs.kim" doctor said to mrs.kim

"i don't care about my health,what's wrong with my baby?are you gonna tell something regarding to my baby,can i see her,you told me that you are gonna take her here after the checkup,when i asked you why she is not crying,you told me that she is fine,i know normally babies cry when they born,you lied to me right?"mrs.kim attacked the doctor from questions

"mrs.kim listen to me,she is quite abnormal,she didn't cry i know but i told you it's fine because she was breathing that time,she doesn't show any body movements but she breaths,she is a little bit abnormal,like she is in...like-e" the doctor couldn't tell what it was because he haven't seen something like this is his life

"like what doctor?like what?" taehyung's father screamed his lungs out which made taehyung flinch in fear,he looked up he met his mother's teary eyes,she hugged taehyung tightly sobbing so hardly

"like a coma,this is a miracle,this is something supernatural,please keep hopes ok?we are trying our best,we want you two to be strong" the doctor said

"take taehyung home" taehyung's mother told his father

"eomma,i miss you,is my sister bad?why are you crying i can teach her" he said while wiping his mother's tears away

"taehyungie,no no your sister is not bad, ok?eomma want you and your father to be at home,you love me right?you are my good boy right?you obey me right?"

"but.." his mother cut his father off

"im fine,i need to be alone,i need time, take tae home"she said to him,little taehyung couldn't understand anything,he didn't know the meaning of 'abnormal' he didn't know anything about babies,his father picked taehyung and went home

17 years ago

years went by taehyung forgot about his abnormal sister since he was just five when it happened, he was used to be alone in the home,his parents always went out,leaving him alone,he thought that his parents doesn't love him he started to hate them because of leaving him alone in the darkness,but his parents couldn't hide the secret from him any longer,they weren't ready to tell him,they weren't ready to give him pain,they hid it from him for all those years but they couldn't lie to him any longer,they thought to tell him at last because taehyung's behavior changed ,he changed into a boy who keeps all the things to himself because of his parents

"taehyungie can i tell you something?" his mother ask from 8 years old taehyung

"yeah" taehyung who was concentrating on playing a computer game answered

"don't get panic,but you have a little sister" his mother told nervously,taehyung who was about to scream in victory because he was about to win the game was frozen to the spot,he looked at his mother in a shocked face,he was speechless

"ah,eomma do you have a fever?or are you fine?"he said looking at the computer screen sadly because he lost the game

" honey you have a sister she is 3 years old" she said

"why are you telling me now?" he asked madly

" don't you want to see her?,we hid that from you because we love you from all our hearts,we didn't want to give you any pain,we love you ,you are our first child,my first baby,i don't want my tae to hate me,i don't want my tae to think that his parents don't love him,i don't want you to hate me tae,i love you ,a lot " she told crying,taehyung who couldn't hold himself stood up from his seat and went to his mom,he wrpped his arms around his mother

"eomma i want to see her,i don't know why you only told it today,sorry if my words hurt you"he said

"honey she will answer your questions"she said stroking his hair gently

at the hosptal(inside the room)

taehyung and his mother went inside the room,he went shook because of the beautiful angel lying on the bed like a lifless body,he ran to his sister,and he sat on the bed

"she is so beautiful eomma,can't believe that she is my own sister,is she adopted?" he asked

" no tae,she is your own sister blood related sister" she said she was happy because taehyung reacted in a good way

"eomma,is she sleeping? can i wake her?" he asked

" honey she is not sleeping she is in a coma" she said looking at the floor

"won't she wake up?" he asked

" it will be a miracle if she wake up,but doctors are trying" she said

"is that why you two didn't tell me about her" he asked

"yeah that's why honey" she said

"don't worry eomma i'll take care of her until my death,i'll protect her eomma sorry for all my bad words never knew that you two were hiding something like this,i was selfish,sorry if my behaviour affect you" he said

"no,no im lucky to have you by my side it's our fault for not telling you" she hugged her precious child and promised herself not to hide anything from him ever again,taehyung promised himself to be a doctor,destiny is not always lucky but at least he ended up as an eye specialist

"you are too beautiful sister" he whispered to her,suddenly tears came rolling down her cheeks,that made taehyung scream,nothing came out of his mouth

"e-omma,eomma look" he pointed towards his sister,she quickly called the doctor with lot of hopes

"maam,look at the ECG,her heart is pounding a ittle faster than before,ahh,how is this possible?" the doctor said happily

"tae what did you tell to her?"his mother questioned

"ah eomma i told her that she is so beautiful,that's it" he said

END OF THE FLASHBACK

jungkook's POV

"so what can you see and hear in your dreams?" i asked from them

"i can see someone with black wings and a girl dressed in white,and there are people around me" taehyung hyung answered

"same with me tae" jimini hyung answered

"yeah but in my dream im the one who has black wings and im the one who is stabbing the girl,can you see that part" i asked

"yeah sure,but is that you?seriously what is this?"jimin hyung asked with a laughter

"so taehyung hyung what can you hear?"i asked from him

"since the faces of those people are not clear i can't tell the exact owner of the voice,but i can hear something like'taehyung aren't you his protector,you can tell anything about him,just looking at his eyes,it's your own fault taehyung,you hid that from us,we are your brothers,you know we promised to protect one another,this won't be happen if you told that to us before' that's what i can hear " taehyung hyung said

"i can hear something like'jimin it's your fault,you are his protector you can tell anything he does,he thinks so did you forget your ability?why didn't you tell us,why? ,here all of us are in pain,you know if one is in pain all the others feel the same,why did you let him give his pain to another?we love him and there is no need to give his pain to another,if he or if you told that to us we wouldn't have been in this situation,she won't die you,you probably know that,if she dies,all of us will die at the same time,we are connected and you know it,and seperating is not that in this case,seperating is death in this case,if someone wants to seperate from a demon,he has to die,that's the only way a person can seperate ,yeah he used a forbidden spell,but he had to scarifice himself,it's same as death jimin,it's more painful than the death itself' that voice tells and,and i reply with 'i promised him hyung,i couldn't break that promise,i didn't tell him to give him pain to someone,he didn't even want to,he is not selfish but he was too late,i was too late,is she dies now we will also die,but i couldn't break his trust,and i only helped him i wouldn't have let that bastard to use a forbidden spell like that,i wouldn't have let him sacrifice himself like that' yeah i tells something like that,i remember all the words since i see this dream from the beginning " jimin hyung told

" sorry jiminie but last night i saw you clearly in my dream,i even saw the demon clearly after meeting jungkook,but he is back facing,so even though i could see him i couldn't recognize him,but last night i saw you and that's why i woke up ,sorry for hiding,never knew that we have a connection" taehyung hyung told jimin hyung which made him widen his eyes in surprise

"tae-taehyung last night i also saw you in my dream,that's why i looked at you like that" jimin hyung said

"put that away now we all know that we have a connection,jungkook what can you hear and see in your dream?" taehyung hyung asked me

"hyungs i see the side view,but you two see the back view of what i see i think,because i cleary see myself crying, and i can hear a male voice telling 'jungkook you know what you gonna do,don't kill her' and i also hear a female voice saying 'stab me on my heart,you will find peace,don't regret the fate will make us meet again' and i can hear another male voice telling 'control your demon jungkook',but i couldn't see you two in my dream,but there are like four or three people,as i can see, i don't know that exactly since the figures are not clear,im surrounded by them " i ended

"so according to that, protectors can read the mind of the person who he is protecting ,that means jimin hyung is my protector and im your protector kookie" he told me while giggling happily

" you are so happy about it hyung ,you are, i don't know,are you a baby or what" i asked him

"hee hee,im so happy that i have a protector,and im also a protector wow" he said

" ok these are just dreams after all" i said

"in which world many people see the same dream pabo" jimin hyung asked me

"put that away, let's connect the dots"taehyung hyung said

"ok let's start with the promise" i told

"ok i had made a promise with taehyung,an unbreakable one right?" we nodded

"the thing i can't understand is,in your dream jimin hyung,it says taehyung hyung had given his pain to someone,and they say it's bad i think i know the promise" i said

"me too,i think jiminie knew the whole thing about my pain blah blah blah and he had promised me not to tell that to anyone" taehyung hyung said

" wow taehyung finally got a brain,thanks god,but why are we making a stupid story ? " jimin hyung said while laughing

"yeah forbidden spells and stuff,wow,ok we are living in the 21 st century like wow,and we are connecting dots like children,man i feel like im watching harry potter wow,forbidden spells,god ,my mother told me not to believe in those stupid things" taehyung hyung said while laughing his lungs out

" god im trying to be serious here,and you two are laughing like idiots" i told

" oh our kookie is so angry let's try to be serious" jimin hyung told as he ruffled my hair while laughing

taehyung's POV

"back to the movie ok,i think if one of us die,others also have to face the same fate as us ,and if one of us is in pain,others will also feel the same" jimin hyung told

"my problem is why i have wings?and why do they tell something like'control your demon'and in jimin hyung's dream they say death is the only way to seperate from the demon so instead of killing someone else i can kill myself stupid me,and according to our dreams we had aslo died right after her,and why im doing something like that,im so frusfrated right now,whahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"jungkook said,when he was telling that,something came to my mind'how did i forget that line' i thought

"ah kookie i don't know whether this is important or not but i also hear a male voice telling 'taehyung you are the only one who can control valak' " i said ,it made them shiver in fear