Home Visit

Theo idly slid his hand across the guitar, then plucked a string. The note quivered in the air, startlingly harsh. He winced.

Okay, maybe he wasn't in the right mood for this. He'd hoped some music might help take his mind off the mess of thoughts swirling inside him, but no such luck.

A day after his meeting with Victor, he still felt completely off-balance. Victor's incredulous voice kept replaying in his head. 'I don't have any idea what you are talking about.'

A shudder rippled down Theo's spine. He drew his knees up, hugging the guitar close to his chest.

Crazily enough, he almost wished he could have another flying dream. It was a long shot, but maybe it'd give him some answers. Instead, his only dreams so far had been your average nonsense like showing up naked at school without his homework or going figure skating on the moon with Gerard Way.

The sound of the doorbell made Theo start. A package? He didn't really want to go get it, but he might as well check.

Setting down the guitar, he shuffled over to the window and lifted the curtain. When he saw the person standing at the front door, his heart jolted.

A tall young man with long blond hair. Zenith?

No way. Why had Zenith come all the way to his house? Theo blinked, wondering if he was imagining things, but Zenith remained standing there. When he rang the doorbell again, Theo had no choice but to accept that he was really there.

As fast as he could, he ran to the front door. After spending all morning in his dark room, the sudden brightness made his eyes water. And it didn't help when he opened the door and the full heat of the summer day came pouring inside.

"Good morning, Theo," Zenith said, calm as ever – but Theo felt sure he wasn't imagining the tinge of relief in his voice.

His eyes swept over Theo's face as if searching for something, and that made Theo realize that he was still in his pajamas, not even wearing eyeliner or piercings. He blushed, suddenly self-conscious, but in his defense it wasn't like he'd expected to receive any guests.

"Uh, morning," he said, stepping back to let Zenith in. "So, uh, what brings you here?"

"Forgive my presumption...I just wanted to see you." Zenith turned away slightly. "To make sure you were all right."

Something painful twisted in Theo's chest. "All right?"

Zenith turned away further, but he couldn't hide the color rising in his face. "Again, this may be presumptuous of me...but it seems...you haven't been feeling well. Ever since you spoke with Victor...I've noticed that your Levia has been...unsteady. Tumultuous. I was concerned, so…."

He trailed off, then immersed himself in the foyer tiles as if trying to divine their mysteries. All Theo could hear was the blood rushing in his ears.

A giant lump swelled in his throat. He was afraid that if he opened his mouth, he might burst out sobbing.

He'd been a complete idiot. Sitting around stewing in his own head when he should have reached out to the people who cared about him.

Theo blinked hard, forcing back the tears pricking the corners of his eyes. When he was sure he could manage a full breath, he made himself speak.

"Zenith...thank you so much. I – I'm fine now. Sorry for making you worry."

Zenith lifted his head, blinking. "Forgive me. I shouldn't have – "

"No, no!" Theo grabbed Zenith's sleeve. "I'm glad you're here. Uh, I don't have anything prepared, but if you want something to eat or drink, I'll see what I can do."

"It's all right," Zenith said mildly.

"Oh, okay." Blushing, Theo rubbed the back of his head. Why did it suddenly feel so awkward? This wasn't the first time Zenith had visited, though back then he'd come with Sam. Now, with just the two of them….

"Um, you wanna come to my room?" Theo blurted. "You haven't seen it before, right?"

"No, I have not," Zenith said, straightforward as ever.

Theo blushed hotter, though he didn't know why. Nothing wrong with inviting a friend to your room, right? He'd already been in Zenith's room plenty of times.

'Yeah, and one of those times you kissed him.' Okay, he had to stop this train of thought before it spiraled out of control. That kiss didn't mean anything. He didn't have feelings for Zenith.

"Uh, let's go," he made himself say, then headed up the stairs. Zenith's footsteps behind him, quiet as they might be, seemed to echo inside his head.

Once inside his room, he gave it a quick once-over and was relieved to see it wasn't as messy as it could be. Zenith glanced around too, taking in the band posters and the checkerboard wallpaper and skull decals with the same keen interest as when he'd watched the fish at the aquarium.

"Sit wherever you want. The bed, the chair, all's good," Theo said quickly.

Nodding, Zenith went to sit in at the desk chair. Theo sank into the bed across from him. For a moment Zenith watched him, his pale gaze uncomfortably sharp, and it was all Theo could do not to squirm.

"If...if you don't mind," Zenith said, slow and careful, "could you tell me what is bothering you? What did Victor say to you?"

Theo swallowed. Yeah, he might as well get it all out. Maybe talking about it would make him feel better.

"Not much...the thing is, I found out that...he hasn't ever had those dreams. You know, those dreams of Tielos. I guess – I always assumed they came from our mom. So it'd make sense for him to have them too, right? But it's only me. I don't know what it means…."

He lowered his head, twisting his fingers into his pajama pants. Now that he said it out loud, it sounded so silly. Nothing worth getting into a funk over.

"I guess it threw me off," he said, more trying to convince himself than Zenith. "I thought it was something he'd understand too. Now – no one does. I don't know what it all means. And I don't know how I'll ever find out more."

"Theo," Zenith said, gentler than Theo had ever heard him. "It isn't so unusual to have things you don't know about yourself."

His gaze became distant, and Theo's heart twisted when he remembered what Zenith had told him about his past. How he had no memory of his origins or creator.

If anyone would understand, it had to be Zenith.

"Sometimes…." Zenith went on, linking his fingers in his lap, "you want to know the answer so badly, you can't think about anything else. But you may have to accept it won't come so easily. And eventually you'll realize it isn't the most important thing."

A smile flicked up the corners of his lips. "There are things that you can control in the here and now. The person who you are, the person who you want to be. As long as you never lose sight of that...I think nothing else matters."

He lifted his head, meeting Theo's eyes. "You haven't changed. You are still Theo, my wizard. What you know or don't know about your dreams makes no difference."

"Zenith," Theo whispered. A tender, painful affection gripped his chest, making every breath burn.

"Ah." Zenith dropped his gaze. "Forgive me. I don't know if that made much sense."

"No, it did." Theo sucked in a deep breath. "Thank you, Zenith. You're amazing."

"Amazing?" Zenith looked alarmed. "I'm not sure – "

"You are. Don't sell yourself short."

"Is that an order?"

The question was light, almost teasing. The affection swelled until Theo thought his body couldn't contain it any longer.

"Yeah," he said, staring into Zenith's eyes. "It is."

Zenith's mouth quirked. "By your will, then."

Theo smiled back, amazed at how much lighter he felt. The fears and doubts hadn't gone away, but they seemed as distant as the clouds in the sky. Like always, his knight helped ground him, kept him from losing sight of what mattered most.

He wanted to do something, anything, for Zenith. Some way to show his appreciation. But he didn't have the first clue where to begin.

Then he noticed that Zenith was no longer staring at him; instead, his gaze had slid somewhere to the left, landing on the guitar atop the bed.

"Zenith?" Theo asked.

Zenith jerked like he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't have. "Yes?"

"Um, is this your first time seeing a guitar? It's, uh, an instrument that can play music."

"I know what it is," Zenith said serenely. "Do you know how to play it?"

Strange. They'd known each other all this time and Zenith had no idea how much he loved music? Then again, Theo did tend to keep it to himself. He was too embarrassed to talk about it, let alone demonstrate in front of others.

But now Zenith was here, gazing at the guitar in that calm, curious way of his. He said he knew who Theo was, and that Theo should never lose sight of it. Yet he still didn't have the complete picture – he didn't know this side of Theo.

Barely believing what he was about to say, Theo picked up the guitar, put it in his lap, and looked straight at Zenith. "Yeah, I can. Want me to play for you?"