So Proud of You

After talking with Darian, Theo steeled himself and went back to his cabin for the first time since Zenith had left. It already felt like several lifetimes ago, though it couldn't have been more than two days. 

Still, he doubted the person he'd been back then would recognize himself now. All for the better. He never wanted to be that selfish, sniveling little boy again.

In spite of himself, he hesitated in front of the door. He'd finally found his resolve, but who knew, it might crumble into dust once he set foot inside. Not only was this the place where he'd lived with Zenith, but it was also where...where they had last been connected. 

Well, he'd just have to deal with it. Taking a deep breath, Theo pushed the door open.

Everything looked exactly as he'd left it – the sheets spilling out of the bottom bunk, the books haphazardly piled on the desk. But to his surprise, he only felt the slightest pang in his chest.

Maybe it was because the room showed few signs Zenith had ever lived in it. As he didn't need to sleep, the knight had never spent much time here. He didn't own anything either; the only belongings in sight were Theo's.

It relieved Theo, but also sent a flutter of sadness through his heart. Still, he couldn't get lost in thought. He'd come here for a reason.

Thankfully, it didn't take long to find his sketchbook on the desk. Once he had it in his hands, he beat his retreat. No point in sticking around, not when he didn't have any time to waste.

~*~

Theo found Meg in the mess hall, nursing a mug of tea while rifling through a grimoire. She was alone; Sam had earlier told Theo that Lodo had gone off to help Victor clean a few cabins.

Everyone was doing their best to stay busy, to keep moving ahead. Even the Blue Sky continued on its rendezvous course with the pirates, just as originally planned. Except now, they were going to ask for far more than help defeating the Infernal Legion.

And Theo had a goal too, one more immediate than bringing Zenith back. So he made his way to Meg's table and drew up a chair across from her.

She snapped her head up, blinking as if she'd only just noticed him. When he saw the dark circles around her eyes, guilt squirmed in his stomach, but he told himself he couldn't do this without her.

"Oh, Theo," Meg said, sitting up straighter. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," Theo said. He set the sketchbook on the table between them. "I wanted to ask you for some help."

"Of course." A wry smile quirked up Meg's lips. "Ask away. Though I'm not sure how much use I'll be. Haven't managed to find anything that'll help us fight a seraphim, understandably." She gestured at the grimoire.

"Actually," Theo said, his spine tingling, "I think I can do something about that."

With that, he opened the sketchbook to a page covered in intricate diagrams. Even upside down, the sight of the familiar lines and shapes tugged at his chest. 

"I've already started using some of these spells," he said, indicating the first two on the page. "This is an elemental spell, this one is a shield. But it's still not enough. I want to make a serious effort to study every single one."

He took a deep breath. "Among them...I think there has to be one that'll let me power up the entire crew. Like the one that Ulrich used, remember? If he could do it, I'm sure I can too."

"Theo." Meg stared at him with wide eyes. "Are you saying...."

Theo nodded firmly. "Right now, I don't have a familiar." To his relief, his voice only quivered a little bit. "But that doesn't mean I'm going to sit back and do nothing. I want to be able to help everyone, however I can. I know these spells for a reason, so I figure it's high time I put them to good use."

"Your Levia...," Meg began, but again Theo spoke over her.

"I'm sure I have enough. I mean, Ulrich was able to do it with just a single shard of the Star." He pulled out his staff and rested it on the table beside the sketchbook. The glow within the crystal, though faint, rippled across the metal surface like light moving across water. 

"I have nearly the complete Star of Miriel. With its help, I'm certain I can manage it. But I can't do this alone." He tapped the sketchbook. "I still don't know what all of these spells do, and I'm not sure if I'll be able to test each one. If we study them together, we might be able to figure it out. Even if you don't recognize the exact spell, there might be patterns to them or parts that look more familiar. I'm not as experienced as you, so I wouldn't know. That's why I need you."

"Theo..." Meg stared at the page of diagrams with furrowed brows, her gaze so intense it was like she was trying to burn each one into her brain. 

When she finally looked back up, her expression was troubled. Her lips moved and her throat convulsed like she wanted to speak, but nothing came out. Then she cleared her throat and straightened her shoulders.

"Are you...no." Breathing out, she gave her head a slight shake. "You are serious, and I don't think I can stop you."

"That's right," Theo said, sitting up straighter.

"Oh, Theo." Meg sat back, linking her fingers together. She was smiling, but it held a strange, almost sad quality. "I could never have imagined...you really have grown so much. You've become so strong, and I don't only mean in terms of being a wizard. No, I'm talking about the kind of strength that truly matters."

She lifted her hands, resting her chin atop her clasped fingers, and gazed at him with dark, intense eyes. Theo felt certain he wasn't imagining the wet shimmer to them, and it made his heart ache like a fresh bruise.

"You've surpassed me in every way. I'm so proud of you, Theo."

Those words, though quiet, reverberated through Theo's entire soul. For a moment, he couldn't think, could barely even breathe. 

It was stupid, it was silly, but he couldn't ever remember an adult saying anything like that to him. Not Dad, for sure. Even if a miracle happend and he did hear it from Dad, he doubted it would mean as much as it did coming from Meg, the one who had taught him everything he knew about wizardry.

The wry smile returned to Meg's face. "Now, that deer-in-the-headlights expression is a bit more like the Theo I know. Maybe it's selfish of me, but I'm relieved to see you haven't completely changed."

"Ah, uh," Theo stuttered, heating rising in his cheeks. But maybe he felt the same way. Even after all this time, Meg's teasing still caught him completely flatfooted. 

"All right." Winking, Meg tapped the sketchbook. "Let's get to it, shall we?"

"Right." Theo cleared his throat. "Oh, and – thank you, Meg. For doing this for me. For...being my teacher."

In spite of his best efforts, he couldn't stop the blush from creeping back across his skin. But this time, Meg didn't tease him. Instead, she smiled so brightly her entire face seemed to glow. And silly as it might be, Theo felt certain the two of them would get this done in no time.