chapter 1- last bidding farewell
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It was finally time.
I, Haruhi Shizumi. The miserable lifeless girl
Has bid her last farewell to the world.
How nice it is for me to see the setting sun on top of the rooftop
Ah...come to think of it, i wonder how my nanny will react if she knew i died?
She must be upset huh?
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Dad, Mom, Bro, Yuki-chan
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Sorry and goodbye...
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|| 13 Years before the Suicide attempt ||
Haruhi Shizumi, a fragile girl with a small frame, having a holiday with her parents to Tokyo's Meiji Shrine to make their prayers. It was a fun experience for a child like herself.
She ran around, eating Takoyaki, playing with her family, and also seeing fireworks in the nighttime.
She was still 2 years old, so she usually stays home mostly. But since it's the new years, she can come out and play a little.
|| 7 years before Suicide attempt ||
Haruhi Shizumi, reached her age of 8. She called out her mother through the small flip phone.
"*Haha, how was work?" the girl asked
"It was going smooth sweetie, a little bit more and im going to go home and we'll eat barbecue!" her mother shout through the phone.
"Barbecue!? Yay! Im going to tell Dad!"
"Oh yes! Tell him to bring us some bbq sauce!" said her mother.
"sure!"
they hung up.
|| 5 years before the Suicide attempt ||
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It's been 2 years since mom and dad got divorced. Mom got remarried and now i have a step-brother and a step-father. Things were going smooth, but i never expected this would've happened
At the age of 8, My mother and father had a huge fight. My father was suspected cheating on mother. They got divorced the next month.
And that, makes my heart crumbled into bits.
do they not have a happy life?
am i their obstacle?
is it because of me?
i can't get the negative thoughts out off my head. I felt like i was the one to blame. I was the one who made them like this.
and that negativity
begans to slowly devour me
|| 2 years before the Suicide attempt ||
My mother and step-father started to care less about my existence.
They often hit me, tell me im worthless, that i resemble my father, and other things too.
My step-brother, who knew about this, always tries to cheer me up.
We often go to a cafe, play with cats, go to an amusement park, eating sushi, and other things too.
he was an amazing step brother.
i wish i could be with him forever.
|| a year before the Suicide attempt ||
I was now in my Junior 3rd year. It was horrible. I got bullied often.
it's usually shirt tearing, death threats, food spoiling, or accidents that they always cause and they put the blame on me.
I got the lower grades and my parents would be upset about it. A nanny they hired a few months ago, likes to give me cookies and tea.
It made me happy.
My brother however, had cancer and had to go to the hospital. it was on his 2nd stage. So there's still a chance.
I was the one who saved up money to willing to pay for the allowance. I want him to get better and play with me.
|| 5 months before Suicide attempt ||
School was still fucked up.
Everyone avoided me
the world was averting me
they turned a blind eye on me
i was sick of it
I cut my wrist to cheer myself up
it was a nice sensation.
the feeling of blood dripping from your arm
and the sting of pain.
It was delightful.
i continue cutting myself again and again.
day by day, the feeling of pleasure turned to depression and realisation.
Have i gone crazy?
do i want myself to die?
is that what my hearts desire?
No... it's more like
i NEED to die.
i thought of a suicide method and...
falling of a high building was perfect.
|| 12 hours before suicide ||
it was the early mornings when someone waved at me.
It was Yuki-chan!
"Yuki - chan!" i called out her name
"Haru-chan! Good morning!"
"Fine"
"you don't look fine though"
"hehe, maybe because I can not sleep last night because nightmare?"
"Oh! Okay then. My class is gonna start soon, bye!"
"bye..."
it was my goodbye for the last time.
Yuki-chan, please forget about me.
|| 29 minutes before Suicide attempt ||
After all of that hardship i've been through, i can finally breathe in excitement.
No more families, no more bullying, no more pain, pretty silence.
I was at the rooftop, letting out of my thoughts.
Is this where i part ways from the world?
i feel...
refreshed...
I'm finally...
free...
|| 30 seconds before Suicide attempt ||
i went over the balcony pillars
i looked down
it was very high
good enough for someone to commit death.
what a pretty view of the school...
the image of the sunset will be the last time i see the world.
I embraced myself and let my thoughts empty for a while.
I closed my eyes while i say my last words.
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3...
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everyone...
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2...
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Goodbye!
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1!
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Forever-
" a girl with the name of Haruhi Shizumi, a 15 year old girl, has committed suicide by falling off the rooftop, before she did it, she left a note for the parents and people for the school. It was known that the environment she's living is a very dangerous place that effect her both physically and mentally"
[The end of chapter 1]