Looking for peace?

Zarak sat down with his guitar. He still had half an hour before the practice would start. He wanted to be flawless during the practice. They had been practicing for two months now. A big show was coming up, a month later and he had to win it. It was his last year at the State Arts University, and if he won the show, he knew he would have a great future ahead. Very famous musicians and singers were coming to the show.

He started to play the guitar, and began singing the song that they had been practicing. He closed his eyes blissfully. He felt like every inch of his body was losing itself slowly and deeply to the music. The sweetness, the beats, the thrill of the song and the music made his heart beat faster. It penetrated deep inside and reached his soul. He ended the song, and sighed with contentment. He had gotten so much better, he thought. He could easily win this show.

Ameerah had taken a leave from college, and was at home today. She didn’t feel like going, and also wanted to be with her mom. She sat at the table, in the kitchen eating her breakfast. She had started making the abaya designs for Haleema, as she didn’t really have any college work to do at the moment. She had done a lot of research, as she had no experience with abayas before. She had made a couple of designs, but wasn’t so sure about them. She had seen a lot of girls wearing it, but hadn’t really noticed their designs or styles. She didn’t believe in covering up so much. It limited the freedom of a girl, she thought. Islam wasn’t that strict. She wondered why Haleema wore it. Did she like it? Maybe her mom forces her to wear it. She decided to ask her next time they met. She was thankful her parents never forced her into anything.

Thinking about her parents, she was reminded about her father. What did he want to tell her? How would she talk to him? Maybe her dad was guilty and wanted to apologize, she thought hopefully. Will she be able to forgive him? But what if he is not guilty and wants to leave us. That was what she actually wanted to say to him, but the thought made her shudder now. What would they do without him? But then, she decided that they would survive without him. Her mom would be happy without him, she thought. A shameless man like her dad had no place in their house, or in their hearts.

Her mom entered the kitchen. Her eyes were red, and slightly swollen.

“You didn’t go to college today?” She asked.

“No mom, I wanted to spend time with you today,” she replied.

Her mom sat down on the chair next to Ameerah, and looked at her thoughtfully.

“Ameerah, what’s killing me inside is the fact that maybe it’s my fault that all of this happened.”

She threw her head in her hands.

Ameerah looked at her mom. She looked so old. She had never before noticed, the slight wrinkles forming on her face. She had not dyed her hair recently, and she could see a few white strands of hair. Ameerah’s eyes filled with water, at the sight of her mom, so weak and vulnerable. What is this life? Ameerah thought. This is what you get at the end? Man keeps struggling, looking for happiness in every single thing, every single moment of his life. He keeps looking for peace. He struggles his entire life, tries to fight his fate to finally settle down with a little happiness or peace in the last years of his life, and this is what he gets. She knew how her mother fought her dad when he asked about shifting his business closer to home. She wanted a better life for herself, for them. Is this the better life that she had fought for? She took her mother’s hand into hers. She felt her throat tighten, and was unable to say anything to her in reply.