The Funeral

Patricia and Genevieve stood beside the entrance of the church as they received people. There were a lot of people that had showed up; way more had come than she had expected- neighbors, friends as well as acquaintances. Some people from her highschool had showed up too, including her best friends.

Stella and Candice had consoled her and offered her a shoulder to cry on. Even then, they stood next to her as a silent support for her to lean on whenever she needed. They were part of the reason she stood tall in front of all the people, given how they were looking at her.

Everyone expressed their sadness as they looked at her in pity and she almost couldn’t bear it. Yet, she forced herself to stand there as she simply nodded to whatever they had to say.

A woman in her late thirties stepped towards her. Patricia recognized her as an old friend of her mother, one of the few people her mother actually confided in. She was a constant company to her Mary and they met almost every weekend, for reasons as small as going for grocery shopping together.

The woman-Jane-fell into Patricia's arms in a mess of tears and she was momentarily shocked, not knowing what to do. She had never been good at consoling anyone and that moment wasn't any different, since she was equally devastated by the tragedy that had befallen them, if not more.

Jane sobbed with her arms almost crushing her, "this-this is all my fault. I should have been there with her. I can't-I can't believe she's gone- Just like that."

Patricia awkwardly patted her on the back before her words registered in her mind. She pulled away from her and asked, "what do you mean?"

Jane sniffled and looked at her with regret in her eyes. "She asked me. She asked me if I want to go with her and I refused saying that I was busy." She looked down at her hands and continued, "If I had gone with her- If I had picked her up and she wouldn't have been driving... This wouldn't have happened Patricia."

Patricia's heart gave a painful lurch as she realised Jane's words might have been true. If only the circumstances had been different. If only i didn't let mom go out. If only I had gone with her. If only-

She stopped herself from continuing on about her regrets. Because they were just that-Regrets. They wouldn't change anything. What had happened, had already happened. With tears in her eyes, she grabbed Jane's hands and squeezed. "It's not your fault. We can't change what happened. Don't blame yourself please."

Jane nodded slightly as she hugged her again. "Mary was so proud of you-Rightfully so. Don't let this change you, my child. You have such a long life ahead of you." She pulled away and kissed her cheek before walking away.

Patricia sighed. Do I though? she thought. Life was so unpredictable, one could never say for sure. The prime example was her standing in a church for her mother's funeral on her birthday.

The time came when Patricia had to go and say a few words about her mother. She got up from her seat and walked towards the raised platform in the front, having no idea what she was going to say. The pain was all too new, and the feeling of despair all too much. She stood there in front of so many people, but she felt all alone, peering at all the unfamiliar faces, not really registering any of them.

Taking a deep breath, she started speaking while her mind was delving in the memories of her mother, "I...i don't know what to say. When the person who gave her entire life working and working hard for your upbringing...dedicating their whole life...and who never expected a single thing in return, i...is gone...just.. Gone... So suddenly- so unexpectedly.” She choked on a sob, “I thought she had a long life ahead of her… I thought I would get the chance to take care of her like she took care of me for so long.” She wiped off the lone tear that had escaped her eyes, “the only thing I would like to say is that: "Mom...I- I miss you... So much,” her voice cracked and she just couldn’t bear it anymore.

She didn't want to break down in front of so many people so she did what any person would do. She fled.

---

Patricia felt like she had a hole in her chest where her heart had been. As she sat in a cubicle in the bathroom, looking at her hands, she was overwhelmed with emotions. She felt grief, fear, loneliness, anger, and a new one-Disappointment, at herself. She didn't know what had gotten into her. Why had she fled?

Although, when she thought about it… She realized one of the reasons. But it can’t be, can it? She asked herself.

While she had been on the platform looking at the people in front of her, it had seemed, for a moment, that she was looking at a pair of violet eyes. At her own eyes.

But how can that be? He couldn’t be there. She was being stupid if she thought that her mother's death would bring her father to care about her. He didn't care, even if her mother had thought otherwise. Besides, it wasn’t like he knew that her mother had died. How would he?

She dismissed the whole train of thought quickly. Thinking useless things won’t change the disappointing reality.

After a lot of time of crying in the cubicle, she finally got out and went towards the sink. Her eyes were hurting and body was aching. She thought it was probably due to the fact that she wasn’t able to get much sleep the night before.

Sighing, she washed her face and eyes as much as she could to remove the smeared mascara she had applied to look relatively presentable. She also splashed her arms and neck, thinking it would momentarily help with the soreness of her body.

She walked out of the bathroom and started going back but she halted to a stop as a sudden feeling of lightheadedness overcame her. She gingerly touched her forehead, closing her eyes and hoping she wouldn’t fall unconscious again. Once in a day had been enough.

When she opened her eyes, they seemed to have become suddenly sensitive to the light and her head had started throbbing. Groaning, she decided that she should go home instead of going back inside. Her aunt would take care of everything since Patricia didn’t have the emotional strength to face all the people as well as her mother lying in a casket, not to mention the fact that she was starting to feel physically weak too.

She turned around and started walking in the other direction, towards the parking lot. She really hoped she would be able to get home before whatever she was feeling got worse.

As she was walking towards her car, the creeping sensation of being watched overcame her. She came to a halt and looked around the parking lot but not a single soul was in sight. All she saw were empty cars and everything was silent. Too silent, she thought, it’s like it’s unnatural.

She shook her head, trying to get rid of the strange thought. I’m just being paranoid.

She started moving but stopped once again; this time not due to the feeling of being watched, but because she felt a searing pain go through her heart. She put her hand on her chest as her lungs locked up and she couldn’t breathe anymore.

The pain spread from her chest to her abdomen. She felt like someone had gripped her organs and was squeezing them mercilessly. She screamed as she doubled over in pain. Her sight went to the gravel underneath her feet, only to see drops of blood on it.

That was when she became aware that blood was coming out of her nose and ears. She coughed, trying to get her lungs to work again, but only more blood spluttered out of her mouth. What is happening to me?

Her knees sank to the ground and the pain became unbearable. She couldn’t even make any sound, much less scream for help. Her whole body was locked up and rigid in pain. She had never prayed for death before but at that moment she found herself wishing for the sweet relief it provided.

She curled up into a ball and brought her knees to her chest. The light of the sun was becoming unbearable too, and shooting needle-like pain to her skull. It felt as if the sunlight was burning her eyes slowly; as if the pain wasn't already enough.

She was only aware of her agony, nothing else. Not the pounding of feet behind her getting closer, not them stopping by her head, not that person's cursing as they picked up her head and put it on their lap.

But she did become aware when that person put something to her lips and water dripped into her mouth and down her throat, bringing instant relief to her throat that felt like sand paper.

At least it seemed like water, but it was richer and thicker... It tasted like it had come straight from heaven, just like the person themself.

The person proceeded to gingerly pick her up. She had no strength in her body to protest. At that point, someone could have put a gun to her head and she still wouldn’t have been able to move.

She felt her body sway so she assumed the person was carrying her somewhere. She really hoped he didn't kidnap her.

Those were the last thoughts in her head before she became unaware of her surroundings when the stranger put two of his fingers on her forehead, muttering something under his breath.