25. Promises

ELIZABETH

Watching Michael's parents wedding video made both of us very emotional. We called Aunt Rose to wish her a Merry Christmas and she dropped a bomb on us by saying she'll be gone for the New year too.

" I'm sorry sweetheart, your grandpa is a little sick and I want to take care of him" she said. She said she would be back on the 1st, just in time for the New year. Michael and I felt very sad about it, we definitely missed her very much. He has never spent any Christmas or New year without his mother and I don't remember celebrating any with mine. I missed my mom, for the first time in my life.I wanted to talk to her and make things right. I wanted to have my mother in my life and I was determined to work on our relationship.

The next 5 days were pure bliss. Michael and I were literally inseparable and I loved having him all to myself. Every morning I woke up to his kisses and went to sleep with his arms around me. I never felt so loved and so secure in my entire life. We made love on literally every surface of the house. On the 30th we got text messages from David inviting us to his New year party. I texted belly and she told me that all of us should go since it's the last year of school. So we got dressed up, him in his black silk shirt and me in my black satin Dior dress. It had spaghetti straps ,a criss cross back and ended mid thigh. Michael ran his hands all over me and we had a hard time going to the party. But we were glad that we did. Everyone from the school were there and we had a blast. I was never much into the party scene but I had a great time in this one. Even Michael seemed to enjoy himself. He introduced me to the triple S: Shawn Seth and Seb who kept stealing him from me during the lunch break. We all had a casual conversation and I did not miss one of them telling Michael that we looked good together. Michael blushed and smiled at that. It made me very happy. I gave belly and David their Christmas presents; some jewelry that I'm sure Belly would definitely like, an antique piece for her mom and a perfume for David. Both of them told me that they sent my presents to my home and that was when I got busted.

" I'm happy that you're happy " said belly hugging me.

" You look good together, you are after all the T&C " David said and gave me his genuine smile. We all got our pictures taken. It was time for the group photo and I had no place to sit. The couch AND the floor were occupied. That was when Michael pulled me onto his lap earning whistles and shouts from everyone else in the room. He wrapped his arms around my waist and that was the best picture I had ever taken in my entire life. It was the 31st, the end of the year. I brought my journal with me and decided to write down some of my thoughts and feelings. I started the year with no family but now I had one. Before this year, before Aunt Rose and Michael entered my life, everything was bleak. I seriously don't remember most of the stuff that has happened over the last 16 years of my life because I was never in the moment. I was either living in my head or I was contemplating what the future would be like but I never truly enjoyed the moment, the present. But it is all one has, the present. It's value is only known after it passes. I had zero memories before because I never lived in the moment. Because it's the moments that turn into memories. But now I had some many of them. I started the year numb, devoid of all feelings and now I could feel everything. All because of Michael. The boy who made me feel everything. The boy who saw a splash of color with in me when all I had was grey. The boy who captured my heart. The boy who made me feel alive, made me live in the moment, who made the world outside my head much much better than my world inside. Maybe it was all meant to be, Aunt Rose and mom being friends, their husbands starting a business together, Aunt Rose relocating, Michael and I ending up with each other. Maybe it was all written, maybe we were destined to be together. I would've loved Uncle Robert. It's a shame that I never got to meet him. I was truly and utterly grateful for having Aunt Rose and Michael in my life. I'll always be. I went downstairs in the evening and found Michael in deep thought.

" What are you thinking about?" I asked climbing into his lap.

" Do you have any regrets El?"

" I have one"

" What is it?"

" Most of my childhood consisted of my mom crying, I always asked her not to cry. Now when I look back, I regret saying those words to her, I regret asking her not to cry. Because I realized it's okay to cry, atleast you are feeling something when you are crying, what's much worse is not feeling anything at all. That's what she has become later on, numb. I wish I said things like It's gonna be okay or something else." He nodded taking my words in.

" Do you have any?" I asked.

" I wish I hugged my dad before he went to work that day" he was referring to the day his father passed away.

" You never know how much time you have with someone" he said looking into my eyes. He was referring to our relationship now.

" He would have absolutely loved you" he said with so much emotion, I got choked for a second. Even his eyes were glassy. I had another regret in my life I wanted to say. It's more of a wish actually. I wish I met him earlier in my life, I wish we grew up together. I wish I could see him grow from a little boy to this beautiful young man that he has become now. I wish I lived through each and everyone of the moments that defined and shaped him as a human being. An overwhelming to hold him in my arms overtook me and we held each other tightly. When it was midnight we went out into the streets. People were rejoicing, yelling happy New year but we just watched the fireworks in the sky. They were beautiful.

" If there's one moment I'll relive again and again, it'll probably be this" he said looking into the sky.

" I love you El" he said taking my face in his hands

" I love you Michael" I said and we kissed in the street with the beautiful display of fireworks as our backdrop.

I couldn't sleep well that night, I kept tossing and turning.Beside me Michael was in deep sleep. He had unusually long lashes. His skin was pale just like milk, with tiny freckles splattered on his face. Everything is going to change. A restless feeling overtook my body, like it was sensing an impending danger. Everything is going to change. I thought about all the things we did during these past few months and suddenly Aunt Rose's wedding vows entered my head. I saw a picture of Michael and I in place of his parents. Somewhere in the far future , when we were much older, much wiser and much much more in love if that was even possible. Even if everything else changed there's one thing that will never ever change : I'll always love Michael, always. That settled me down. That one simple truth, simple realisation. I turned to look at him, so peacefully asleep. All the love I had for him overwhelmed me, my throat closed and tears filled my eyes. I don't think I've ever loved anyone like I loved him and I'm so glad I did. I stroked his hair and kissed his forehead. I will always love you Michael, let's grow old together I whispered in his ear and slept peacefully. Little did I know that it would be the last time I slept peacefully.