Chapter 3

“You” Three letters, one word, and that characteristic smile, that was all it took to make me nervous. I felt my cheeks burn as I blushed. I took my eyes off Jackson to look up at the sky, which ameliorated my discomfort a bit, I pulled away a bit, facing the air to calm the red of my cheeks.

—Do I make you nervous Alice? —He smiled

—What? No! If I hardly know you. —I returned to normal.

—But I do you. —he replied—. It's ironic, don't you think?

I stared at it, again trying to analyze it, but nothing. I gave him one last look of hatred and left, when I got where everyone should be there was nobody, I took my mobile and called E.

“Emmy, where are you?”

I heard some sounds in the background and a door closing.

“I'm with Mack.” She laughed nervously. “Well bye, wish me luck” —Okay, wonderful, Emmy had left me for her boyfriend. I took a deep breath and relaxed, find Jackson hadn't help much to improve my mood.

I sat on a bench trying to think about how to get to my house, I lived on the outskirts of town, and we were in the center, walking would take too long, and I didn't have that much time, the sky had been roaring for a long time, at any moment it would get to rain and I would be there walking forever to my house that was in the middle of nowhere.

I heard some footsteps approaching and I looked in her direction, Tyler appeared on a path coming towards me, it couldn't be worse.

—They left. —he said

—Yes

He reached into a pocket and pulled out one keys.

—I'll take you if you want. —He said looking at me expectantly.

I was surprised by his proposal, I looked at him trying to discover the joke, but it did not seem like him, if I got to know him as he was now I would have thought he was a good guy. Even without trusting too much, I accepted.

-Okay, but don't think I'm going to forgive you for this. -I looked at him angrily

We walked for a long time until we reached his motorcycle, among all those he knew, Tyler was one of the few who had one, he was passionate about them since he was little, his father put him in that world practically since he was born.

I looked at the bike, it was big but quite normal, black and yes, we changed two.

Tyler got on first and I later, I tried not to grab much of his waist, in fact, I tried not to catch him, but after a few minutes of traveling that and death were the only options.

Half an hour later we were in front of my house, I got off the bike, and he did the same, we looked at each other for a long time, his face only brought back memories, I began to notice a weight in my heart and in my chest that prevented me breathing, it hurt, I began to feel a terrible agony, which had always been there, I couldn't help it anymore, I fell to my knees and I started crying with empty tears, he ran to me and hugged me by the shoulder.

—I'm sorry. —I said crying—. I know it's not your fault what happened to Carla. —I let out a cry full of pain—. I'm sorry.

—Nothing happens, I understand, I could have done something and instead. —He was silent, he must also be crying, but in silence.

—I know it wasn't you, but I can't help but blame you. —I kept crying.

The two of us stayed together for a long time, I don't know if it was minutes or hours, I couldn't tell him apart, I just knew that I was broken, and he was trying to put all my pieces together. He let go little by little, he looked at me, he had a sad expression on his face, but no signs of tears like red or puffy eyes.

—I promise I will never let the same thing happen to you that happened to your sister. —I stared at him, I couldn't describe how sorry I was and a single forgiveness was not enough, not even infinite. He had been patient with me, instead I had only continued to hate him to cling to some culprit, instead of looking for the true culprit, I hurt many people. I wiped away my tears.

—I'm sorry. —My voice barely left my throat, I didn't have the strength for it.

—Nothing happens. —He smiled, and that made me smile. How could I have been hating him for so long? I know he had no choice, I understand what you suffered.

—You know that deep down I still love you, right? —I said joking.

—Your? With what heart? —he laughed out loud.

Shortly after we said goodbye. I entered my house exhausted, I felt better, lighter, with a great weight less, I smiled and closed myself in my room, on my nightstand I could see her photo, Carla, my sister, was there. She smiled full of life at the camera, she wore a colorful T-shirt, they took that picture of her when she was little, then she stopped taking photos, then she stopped leaving the room, then she stopped wearing colors.

I lay down, took the book from under my pillow and looked at it, I was too tired, today I could only sleep.

***

I was in high school sitting with E, we were both 12 years old and still wearing baggy clothes and necklaces with large multi-colored pearls, we were at recess.

—I like Mack. —She laughed

—Really?! —I replied sarcastically—. Chh. —I lowered my voice— I think I like Neo —E let out a scream that half the yard could hear.

—I can not believe it! —She shouted—. But, that thing about your heart racing? And do you feel the butterflies in your stomach? How in the books? —That made me think, I didn't really feel any of that, wasn't it love? It was the second time that I confused someone I liked that I had fallen in love.

—Shit! —I laughed—. You've already taken away my desire.

We both laughed and kept talking until a sound made everyone shut up.

“Alice Jones go to the principal's office”

Emmy and I looked at each other, this was definitely going to be considered an adventure, sometimes we got into trouble, but it without realizing it, without meaning to, then when we found out we laughed.

I got up off the ground and left Emmy alone.

Inside, with the director, there were five chairs, three occupied, the director was standing, one of them was occupied by my mother, holding back invisible tears, the other by Tyler, my sister's boyfriend. She was missing.

Mr. Thompson looked at me sadly, everything was silent, I got nervous, what if something had happened? But he offered me the chair, with my hand I pushed it away, I didn't want to sit down, he wanted me to get to the point.

—What, what happened? —I said, my mother looked at me and held back tears, made a sign to Thompson to tell him.

—Alice, first, you have to understand that these things happen, and that she is now in a better place— What?—. Your sister, Carla. —he clarified—. She's gone, she's dead.

Everything for me became blurry, I didn't hear anything, just a ringing in my ears, the only thing I made out before running away were three words.

“Overdose .... Suicide .... Tyler”

________________

Yes, everything begins here, well it does not begin, it is more for you to put yourself in a situation. I hope you liked this chapter.

PS: Should I keep putting notes at the end of all the chapters? Yes, why not

Well finally, bye, a virtual hug and all that :)

-Venus