CHAPTER 5 : Dead Of Night

I sat at my bay window staring out into the forest. I had my legs pulled up against my chest, my head resting on my arm that was plopped on top of my knees. I aimlessly drew shapes on the window, too bothered to actually fall asleep.

What happened in those woods had scared me to death and maybe in the height of fear I might have imagined a few of the details. Adrian was probably right, it could have been a deer. What else could it have possibly have been?

But what bothered me most was how Adrian had treated me. I didn't appreciate his condescending tone. He treated me like a kid telling stories of the bogeyman. He didn't have to be a jerk about it. And to think I was actually falling for him.

It was stupid of me anyway. I should have known this was going to happen. Of course not this specifically, it's not like I expected to be attacked. I actually thought maybe Adrian and I could be friends, I was being delusional. But it's not like I actually believed we would be anything more. I guess I was wrong. He didn't even want to be my friend. I wrapped my other arm around my knees and faced down willing myself not to cry. I wasn't going to cry, not over him.

Pebbles clinked against the glass pane of the window, making me jerk my head up and look out the window. Standing outside my bedroom window was none other than the jerk himself.

"What are you doing here?" I whisper-shouted as I opened the window and stuck my head out into the icy night.

"Come down," he commanded.

"No," there was no way in hell I was going down there. Firstly it was the middle of the night, and secondly I was mad at him. What was he thinking? He made me feel bad, I wasn't about to look past that.

"I'll just wait here, until you do," he said stubbornly, folding his arms over his chest . I should have left him standing in the cold all night. He deserved it but the thought of doing so, had me feeling guilty. It seemed cruel.

"Okay, fine. I'll be down in a minute," I retrieved a hoodie and the pair of jeans I was wearing earlier. I tugged my jeans up my legs and stuck my arms into the sleeves of my black hoodie and dragged it over my head.

Sneaking out was easy enough, it was past midnight and the house was quiet meaning that everyone was already in bed. I tiptoed down the stairs and into the dining room, heading out through the patio doors. Adrian was still standing in the exact same spot I left him, under my bedroom window. He turned to face me with a smirk growing on his face as I approached him.

"What do you want?" my words were cold as I folded my arms over my chest with a huff.

"To apologize," the smirk melted off his face, replaced by a more a apologetic expression. He genuinely seemed sorry but I wasn't going to let him off the hook that easily. He could be sorry all he wanted and look at me with his big ole pleading forest green eyes all he wanted, I wasn't forgiving him. I stayed firm keeping my arms by my chest with a scowl on my face. That is until he started pouting. He looked so cute and I couldn't resist. Man I was weak. How did he have that much power over me?

"Fine," I said dropping my hands to my sides, "if that's all you wanted, I'm going to bed now," I turned to head back inside but he grabbed my arm and turned me back to him.

"We're going for a walk," he stated.

"It's late," I tried to protest but he was already walking.

"Are you coming?" He asked and I started walking after him, against my better judgement. He led me deep into the woods. He was ahead of me while I was sadly falling behind. It was really dark now, the stars reigned over the sky as we trenched through the muddy leave littered ground.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked when I finally caught up to him. This was crazy, I should have been in bed by now. I had school in the morning and if Harrod found out I had snuck out he'd surely inform my father and I would be sent back to boarding school.

"Somewhere special," he said then he started walking faster and I lost sight of him in the thick forest.

"Adrian?" I called out, glancing all around myself "this isn't funny."

But there was no response. Then I heard the crunching of leaves behind me and I whipped around, but there was nothing there. Just a clutter of pine trees.

"Seriously, Adrian I'm not falling for—"

I broke off with a scream when something grasped my shoulders, and I turned around with wide eyes ready to run, only to pause when I saw Adrian's laughing face.

"Not cool!" I said shoving him, but he kept on laughing.

"Did you seriously bring me all the way out here, just to scare me?" I said folding my arms over my chest.

"I'm sorry I just couldn't resist." He said sobering up for his hysterics "You should have seen the look on your face"

"Glad I could make you laugh," I said turning back towards the way we came.

Adrian clutched my arm turning me right back around, "I'm sorry, don't leave," he looked at me with pleading eyes. I couldn't resist. When it came to him I had no control. He had so much power over me and he hadn't the slightest clue.

"Fine, but you better not do that again," I said shoving him playfully.

"Agreed," he took my hand in his. I felt a tingle going through my whole body as soon as my skin touched his. He tugged at my hand and I let him lead me to wherever we were going, trying my very best not to freak out over the fact that he was holding my hand.

After a few more minutes of trudging through the woods we came up to a clearing. In the center of this vast forest there was a little field encased by thick pine trees. How had I not known about this place?. I guess I just had never ventured this far off from my house. I wished I had known about it. It was a beautiful spot under the stars and moon, I wondered what it would look like during the day.

He just plopped down onto the grass and patted the spot next to him without a word. Without question I sat next to him. He laid on his back and I followed suit. We were staring at the stars now. They glittered, lighting the night's sky. We didn't say a word to each other for a while, just stared at the stars.

Then he shut his eyes, placing his hands over his stomach. His breathing was so steady that for a second I thought he had fallen asleep, until he tilted his head to face me. He opened his eyes revealing his forest green colored irises, flecked with gold, catching me staring at him. My cheeks heated up, probably turning a nice shade of red.

"You're supposed to close your eyes too," he scolded tilting his head again towards the starry sky.

I shut my eyes just as he did. We fell into another silence but it wasn't awkward or anything like that, contrary, it was comfortable as we listened to the breeze blowing against tree leaves and the chirping of crickets. I loved the serene nature of the outdoors. I let myself relax listening to the sounds of nature.

Adrian was first to break the silence, "my mom used to bring me here when I was younger," I opened my eyes to face him. He still had his eyes closed as he spoke again, "it's a good place to think. I'm sorry about how I acted earlier. I was out of line."

"It's okay," I wasn't mad anymore, which was kinda odd for me. I had a tendency to hold grudges. But I couldn't find it in me to stay mad at Adrian.

"I come here whenever I miss her."

"It's beautiful."

"Yeah, it is," he said slowly opening his eyes. He stared up at the stars watching them intently.

"What was she like?" I asked then realized how incredibly inappropriate that probably sounded, "you don't have to answer, if you don't want to."

"It's okay," he said sitting up straight "um, well she was blonde like me, she was tall, funny, and she couldn't sing to save her life but she would sing along to every song that came on the radio, even the ones she didn't know whenever we went out for a drive. She'd mess up the lyrics and I'd end up laughing and she'd start laughing too. I loved her laugh. I think it's what I miss about her most. She had such an infectious laugh.

"She always knew how to make me smile even on my worst days. Um—she'd do something random like start dancing this stupid dance she made up when I was three," he was smiling, "or make me my favorite cookies or bring me here. We'd stare at the stars all night and I would feel better."

"She sounds like an amazing woman."

"She was," he said wiping away a tear that had strayed down his cheek, "what was your mother like?"

"She was the most caring person in the world. The world seemed brighter with her. It was easier to be strong when she was beside me, like nothing could ever hurt me," I closed my eyes imagining my life before she died, "She used to read to me every night, she's the reason I love books so much. She loved gardening. Every morning she'd be in her garden tending to her flowers and I would follow her around asking for the names of every flower. I—uh I basically worshiped the ground she walked on."

"You must miss her a lot."

"Yes, but it doesn't hurt as much as it used to."

"I know what you mean, thinking about her used to make me cry but her memory brings me comfort now."

"Like her memories keeps her alive in your heart."

"Yeah."

He understood exactly the way I felt because he felt it too. We shared the same pain, the same trauma.

We fell silent after that. However, the silence wasn't awkward at all, contrary, it was rather comfortable. I liked this, talking to him, staring at the stars. Maybe I was wrong about him, he wasn't a jerk. Not completely. We laid there for a few more minutes.

He slowly rose to his feet, then extended his arm out for me. I griped his hand as he hulled me to my feet, pulling my body towards his. We were inches apart and I was lost in his gaze. His eyes seemed to glow as they held mine captive. He was still holding my hand. I liked the feel of his hand pressed against mine. His hand was warm making my whole body tingle as if electricity was coursing through my veins.

I was surrounded by the scent of pine and cinnamon and I could feel my legs turning to jelly. My mind finally taking everything in, I jerked my hand away like he'd burnt me. Immediately I missed the warmth of his hand. I took a step back from him rubbing my hand against the back of my neck. What was he doing to me?

"We should probably head back," I said and he nodded in agreement.

We walked back to my house in silence. The silence was uncomfortable and had me fidgeting with the hem of my hoodie.

I felt I should say something, but what? I wasn't very good with words. I always manage to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. But I had to say something, the silence was killing me.

"Thanks," I said as we reached the patio doors. He raised a questioning brow, "for the walk, it was nice." I elaborated.

"Anytime," he shoved his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket, "thanks for listening."

"Anytime," he smiled at me sending the same spark of electricity going through my body from earlier. I really liked his smile. I smiled back at him a little shyly.

"Um—I guess I'll see you later?" The was a lithe at the end of the sentence, making the statement into a question.

"Yeah," he took a few steps back then turned around. I watched him walk over to his bike and I watched him ride away before I walked back inside. I snuck back up to my room moving as quietly as I possibly could.

As soon as I shut the door I jumped back onto my bed with a smile plastered on my face. I grabbed my pillow excitedly screaming into it. The way I was falling for him was disorienting and alarming, but also exciting. I was scared, I had ample reason to be, but I also knew I couldn't fight this or hide from it. I liked Adrian and that spelled out trouble for me.

He was most probably straight and most probably dating someone else. I couldn't do that to myself, not again.

But what if he wasn't?

What if he was gay or bi or pan or whatever? What if he actually liked me? What if this wasn't completely hopeless and I had an actual chance?

Ahhhh!

Hoping was the reason I got hurt the first time. Why couldn't I learn my lesson. This was stupid and it was late and the only thing I should have been doing was sleeping. I got up changing into my pjs and slipped into my blankets.

Closing my eyes, I finally let my frazzled mind rest as I drifted off to sleep, only to be plunged into a nightmare that had me waking up an hour later in a cold sweat. My breathing was heavy and my heart was pounding so hard, I thought it would jump straight out of my chest. I clutched the blanket in both of my fists as I tried to steady my racing heart.

I didn't even realize I was crying until the tears dropped off my cheeks onto my pajama shirt, leaving behind tear stains. I furiously wiped away the tears as if someone in my empty room would see them.

After a few minutes of telling myself it was just a bad dream I got out of bed heading for the bathroom. I knew it was a bad dream and nothing more but it felt so real. I could still hear the screams ringing in my head, and feel the blood coating my fingers. I was so scared.

But it was just a dream.

I splashed water on my face, then raised my head taking in my appearance that reflected off the mirror. My dark hair was sticking all over the place, tousled more so than usual, my grey eyes were bloodshot and they were darkening bags hung under them. I looked terrible.

I dragged my feet back into my room, slipping back under my blankets. Though I was exhausted my mind was unwilling to return to that land of fears. I didn't fall back to sleep until around five when my brain, finally overwhelmed gave in to exhaustion.

And thank the goddess the nightmare did not return. Instead I had a dreamless slumber that I welcomed with open arms.

The sun rose too early for my liking. My mind was groggy and my body weary from not getting enough sleep but I reluctantly got out of bed. Getting ready for school took twice as long as usual and by the time I got to school I missed the late bell by a hair's breadth.

The day trudged on and by lunch time I was ready to collapse.

"What's up with you" Abby had asked when I had plopped into the seat in front of hers, folded my arms on the table and dropped my head with a groan.

"I'm tired," I grumbled.

"What time did you sleep?"

"Five" I mumbled raising my head propping up my arm to rest my head in my palm.

"No wander you look fried," she said pushing her tray of food in front of me seeing as I had forgotten my own. I popped a French fry into my mouth, muttering a 'thanks' before she asked, "What happened?" her voice laced with concern.

"I couldn't sleep" I simply said, shrugging it off as nothing. Abby was a worrier, I didn't want to bother her. Plus it was nothing more than a stupid dream and one sleepless night, there was nothing to worry about.

She seemed like she was about to say something else but her attention was drawn away. I turned my head just in time to see Adrian strut into the cafeteria. He wore a light blue v-neck with a leather jacket on top of that and dark jeans and high top sneakers. I was practically drooling over him. Why did he have to be so hot? Unfortunately my little stare-fest didn't go unnoticed, but lucky for me she completely misinterpreted the reason behind it all.

"Hey, you're probably still mad at him and I get it. I know he can be a jerk sometimes but he's not that bad once you get to know him"

"No, it's okay. He actually apologized," I explained turning back to her.

"He did?" She asked with wide eyes.

"Is that so hard to believe?" Adrian said taking a seat beside me and setting his tray on the table.

"Yes, I'm still waiting on an apology for the Barbie doll you ran over with your bike when we were in second grade," she said folding her arms over her chest.

"It was an accident."

"Yeah, you keep saying that but I still don't believe you," she said with a narrowed glare.

"Anyway," he turned from his bitter friend, facing me "you look tired."

I shrugged popping another fry into my mouth, "didn't sleep so good, but I'm okay."

The day moved along much faster after lunch and I was happy to finally return home. Once I was in my room I plopped onto my bed and was out like a light in no time.