Chapter Four

And now my first date with my lovely boyfriend, Nate.

Whenever I looked into those lavender eyes, I just felt like swimming in them and getting lost, but on a second thought, I only wanted to get lost in Jake's eyes.

We went out for coffee but the smell of the coffee got me all nauseous and I decided to get a cold glass of juice instead.

We later took a walk to the Park and had a long talk and we shared our thoughts with eachother.

My heart fluttered anytime he smiled at me. He looked so happy and I felt happy too. That's a great thing.

Nate and I kept dating for two months. I was really glad the relationship was working out. We had our special moments.

I remembered one time we went for a walk, we both wore matching sweats. Very gorgeous. Everyone around seemed to get the message that we were a couple. I know it's a bit cheesy.

That was the day Nate kissed me. I just kept ranting on and on about something that got me vexed and he kept finding it funny. I stood up from the spot where we were seated and began to walk away. He ran after me and pulled me into his embrace. He then kissed me on the forehead and on the lips. I felt so relieved. My cheeks were flushed red. The kiss made me relax.

I liked Nate so much. He was very understanding. He was always there for me even when he had his own problems to deal with. I always thought he wasn't my spec but thank God I gave him a chance. He's so sweet and doesn't hesitate to make me smile.

He always wanted to spend quality time with me and it helped me to not miss Cheryl a little too overboard since she left for a trip with her parents.

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Seems like happiness wasn't meant for me just when I thought I found my perfect match then everything shattered.

There were so many changes in my body. I started to dislike certain foods and was getting restless every now and then.

I decided to take a test with a strip I remember stealing from Cheryl and it confirmed that I was pregnant.

"No!! It can't be. I....I can't be...pregnant. Not with Jake's child." I needed to believe It was all my imagination, but no. I really was pregnant for that asshole. It was sad news for me.

I'm to blame though. I guess he just wanted to use me and pass the night off. I still want to believe that he felt something for me or was it because he was too horny to retreat. His eyes held so much that I couldn't explain. He was my big time crush, until the night of the action that led to this. Maybe he still is.

But how am I supposed to handle this? I can't talk to Cheryl now. She's my best friend but so what? She'll probably tell me to talk to him about it. Worst adviser ever.

Cheryl was literally the only person I could talk at the moment. Sometimes, I feel she sees through me. She'll figure it out even if I try to hide it from her or let's say I'm not so good at hiding things. So bad of me.

I picked up my phone and dialled her number. Ring...ring and she picked.

"Cheryl, please come over. I need to tell you something".

"Good day to you Nicole", and here she comes again.

"Please don't start I beg of you. Just come over, it's really urgent."

In less than 10 minutes, I heard her engine come to a halt. I immediately rushed down to meet her and I handed her the test strip.

"OMG! My dream's coming true, I'm finally going to be a God mother", she squealed nonstop. I won't say I'm surprised. I expected it. I cleared my throat and she snapped back to reality frowning at me.

"Nicole...", I cut her off immediately and pull her towards my room.

"Yeah, I'm as shocked as you are", I started to explain. " It's actually the result of that night Jake came to me. He said a lot of things that made my heart flutter." I don't even believe what I'm saying.

I fell hard for him in just one night. Fine. He was my crush since junior year so it wasn't so hard for me to fall actually. I waited for so long to hear him say that he has the slightest feelings for me.

I'm so stupid. I mentally hit myself for believing that jerk. He's just ruined my life.

"Cher, what are we going to do now?", she responded almost immediately, "Not we but you. You messed up full time and you know it. Why didn't you tell me everything that happened that night in detail? Now this is a major problem. I think you should meet him. Don't make any decision about the child without him."

"No, I can't. He barely even remembers that night. He barely even remembers me. You have to help me Cher. You know how my parents are."

Coming to that, my parents are not so strict but they trust me so much not to do a thing like this. I don't know how they'll take the news, their precious baby girl is pregnant after a careless night. They would be so disappointed in me. Shit! Just imagining it brings goosebumps to my skin.

Bringing me back to reality, Cher decided that we should try to make my parents understand the situation at hand but I knew very well that idea would fail. But come to think of it, if I tell Jake, he may accept the child. Oh no, another fantasy.

I turned to Cheryl, "Jake's house, shall we?". I picked up my keys and we headed for Jake's house which is just 20 minutes drive from my house.

When we got there I rang the bell, I guess twice or thrice and the door was answered by a lady, I guess his mom, she looked like she was in her early forties.

"Good day Ma'am. I'm Nicole, Jake's friend and this is my friend, Cheryl." And she let us in. In a minute or two, I saw Jake staring intensely at me, of course, I'm the last person he wanted to see.

"Uhm... Hey", I stuttered, not really knowing what to say.

"What the fuck are you doing here Nicole? Don't tell me you're here because of what happened back then. I already apologized to you. But thanks too."

I shook my head in disbelief. Does he really see me as one of those his sex craved sluts?

"Jake, I'm here for something worse than that. I think I'm...", it's just so hard for me to say it. I wonder if he would believe me. "I'm pregnant". I lifted my head to look at him and he didn't seem moved by the news.

"Jake, I'm damn serious", and he was still silent. I moved a bit to where he was standing and I tapped him. "Jake, did you hear me? I said I'm pregnant".

"No, it can't be. How could I be so careless?" he said as he ran his fingers through his already messed up hair.

"So what do you plan to do, Nicole?"

"I can't get rid of it. I don't want to die. I'm almost three months gone and you know how my parents are." I told him, a bit confused and totally oblivious of Cheryl's presence.

And then he said something I never expected him to say the least. "Take me to your parents and I'll explain to them".

"Are you thinking straight? I'll be thrown out of the only home I have. I can't stand it. I will lose what's left of my self-esteem, my family's reputation will be tarnished. That's a total heartbreak. I won't want that." I immediately replied him struggling to hold back my tears.

"Nicole, let's just go. I'll handle everything. Cheryl please talk to her. The earlier the better." He said trying to convince me.

And finally we decided to meet my parents but not today.

Finally, he got to talk to my parents and they said that I can only have the child if I'm engaged. And that's where all the problems started. Who wants to be pregnant and engaged at nineteen? My life was drastically turning into a nightmare.

I was sure Jake would hate me forever. I expected my parents to say that the baby will be given up for adoption immediately after birth.

I couldn't even bare to look at Jake, he hated me now. We're stuck together until the baby is born. No, I can't do this to him.

When he talked to his own parents, it seemed they were okay with the condition. It's not fair. I just wish there is another alternative. But I knew better than to argue with my parents. I accepted their condition without a choice.

Five days after the decision was made, I got a call from Jake's mom, I don't even know how she got my contact. The call shattered what I had left of me.

"Good evening, it's Jake's mom, Rose." I recognized her voice and I responded to her.

"Good evening Mrs Parker."

"Nicole, I'm truly sorry for whatever Jake's put you through. Dean and I have decided that you'll move in with us after your engagement with Jake."

As if knowing what I had in mind to say, she told me that my parents were okay with it.

I felt so broken that they just couldn't wait to get rid of me. I wish Nate was here to hold me. How do I even tell him that I'm carrying another man's child? Fine. I made a mistake and keeping the child and the engagement is already enough punishment. I can't bare this.

I tried my best to shut this silly tears but they just came out without control.

"OK, Mrs Parker. Thanks for informing me."

"One last thing dear, the engagement is tomorrow and you will move in with Jake." She paused, maybe to catch her breath or whatever. "Is that okay by you?"

"Yes. It's fine. Thanks" and she ended the call.

I knew crying won't change anything though but I just allowed myself to, at least to satisfy myself. I'm gonna miss my Mom even though I'm still mad at her but she has no say here. I'm sure my dad made all the decisions alone. My dad is obviously a sexist even though he changed a few things about him. I just hate him for that.

I sluggishly moved from my bed and began packing my clothes. I thought about calling Cheryl but no, she's tried this past few days. She has tried a lot for me. I love that girl so much. Can be annoying at times but proves to be the best at all times. She probably need to rest. And she's going away for summer. That means I'll have to eat on my problems till whenever.

Come to think of it Jake accepted the responsibility of a father without much persuasion. I expected him to ask for evidence and all whats not. But no. I guess this is what fate has in store for him. I guess it's his punishment for messing around with girls but what's my own offence? I don't even want to think of it.

After packing up my clothes, I called Cheryl and told her about the engagement and I also tell her I'm moving in with Jake. She sounded so sorry for me.

"Aww... Nicky, sorry about that. Don't worry. Jake's not so bad, at least he is handsome."

"Cherry, please I don't want to talk about this. I want to enjoy while I can, at least before I'm stuck in the same house with that jerk. What will I say to Nate? He'll be so heartbroken and disappointed in me." I heard her chuckle after opening up a bit.

"It's not your fault. It all happened before you two got together. He'll understand." she tried to comfort me.

"OK, I've got something for you, " she started to say and I know what to expect.

She began to tell me of her escapades with guys. She's actually the one who has guys tripping for her. She's very pretty but nah I won't admit it to her at least. She's got long killer legs and she doesn't fail to flaunt it.

Most times I hate going out with her because she loves to socialize and I don't. Most times I feel left out. But what can I do? I love her that way.

After everything I finally tell her to end the call but she refused. So I did it on my own end.