Chapter 12

I must learn to be content with being happier than I deserve.

-Pride and Prejudice

Claire's POV

"CLAIRE ZANETA MOYERS! Where the hell do you think you're coming back from?"

"Hello mother." I cup her face with both of my palms and give her a kiss on both of her cheeks.

Muah muah.

"You haven't answered my question. Don't think I'll let you go easily."

"Oh mother, you worry too much. Learn to live a little." I take off my shoes and begin twirling in the living room. I raise one leg up and take a wild spin, almost hitting my younger brother in the process.

"Claire!" He stretches out his arms for me to pick him up.

"Hey Miles. Waoh you're heavy now. What did you eat? A brick?" I tickle his sides and he erupts in fits of laughter.

"No." I don't relent in tickling him and his laughter is still loud.

"Look Claire, I lost a tooth today. It bled so much!" He opens his mouth proudly and let's me see his missing tooth.

"eeewww." I drop him down from my body and grip his shoulder. "Very soon, you'd loose all your tooth then you'll end up looking like Old man James down the road."

"Nooo." He looks terrified and his eyes become glossy. He's definitely going to cry soon.

"Claire, stop that now."

Way to ruin the fun, mum.

I pick him up again, and now he's fully crying. "I'm just kidding buddy, you'll only loose a few okay? And they'll grow right back. Don't cry again."

"You sure?" He's wiping his eyes with the back of his sleeve, still sniffing loudly.

"Promise." I place him down one last time. "Go to bed now, and make sure you leave enough space for the tooth fairy." I wink at my mum and she scowls back at me.

Ouch.

Just as he ascends up the stairs, I turn back to face my mum. She isn't still smiling and I just realize she's in her pajamas.

"Well my day was fine. Chemotherapy wasn't bad either. My doctor is the best." I try to act hurt that she didn't ask me anything about Chemo.

"Oh Claire." Her look of anger is now immediately replaced with that of sympathy. "You know it's not like that. I was just so mad you stayed out late."

She sighs and folds her hands on her chest.

Score!

"It's fine. It really is." I wipe an imaginary tear off my face, while sniffing. "I'll just go bed now okay, mum." I walk over to her and give her the loudest kiss on her forehead.

"Don't stress yourself too much." I say before finally climbing up the stairs.

After taking off those annoyingly tight jeans, and nursing the marks they gave me on my leg, I finally climb into bed to get some sleep.

I can't sleep though. Each time I close my eyes, he's all I see. How he looked so vulnerable when talking about his past. How he gripped my waist tight and cried on my laps. How he held my hands in the car and kept stealing glances at me while I pretended not to notice.

Arrrghhhh! Get a grip of yourself,girl.

I grab an extra pillow from my bed and place it over my face, screaming into it. I really need to sleep now if I want to make it to school on time. I can't wait to tell Mia all about Nia'll.

Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Innnn and outttt.

Just like that. There you go.

I calm myself down and finally settle to get some sleep.

That wasn't so hard.

Just as I am about to sleep, my screen lights up, indicating a new message. I immediately grab it from my night stand and stare at it.

Goodnight Claire.

I don't need to think twice to know who this is from.

I find myself clutching my phone to my chest and smiling while drifting off to sleep.

** ** **

I wake up before my alarm sounds which is unusual. I stare at the clock and see it still reads 6:15 am. Normally I'd go back to sleep, but today, I'm too excited to close my eyes again.

Hopping out of bed, I go downstairs to make the whole family something to eat. I'm a terrible cook, but I make a mean ass sandwich. I guess everyone will have sandwich for breakfast.

The kitchen is a mess, so I go ahead, hand-washing the dishes, because I'm in such a great mood.

I turn on my iPod and begin to play the most motivational song there is.

Lights down low by Bei Maejor and Waka Flocka Flame.

Seriously, girl.

My motivation and yours come in different ways, darling.

The song comes on and immediately fills the kitchen. I don't bother turning it low as I find myself bobbing my head up and down to the rhythm of the song, while screaming the lyrics out loud.

Take it slow, put it down on me.

I said jump on it, ride like a pony.

Lights down low, time to get naughty.

Lights down low, t-t-t time to get naughty.

Take it slow, put it down on me.

Baby jump on it, ride like a pony.

I'm placing Lettuce and tomatoes in the bread, still singing along. I grab a spatula and begin to give the imaginary audience a show. All the while, tapping and hitting pots and pans for additional beats.

Go girl! You could win America's got talent with this.

I know right?

I feel a presence around me, and I turn back to meet the surprised eyes of Gabriel. He's standing behind me, leaning on the fridge and literally gawking at me.

His lips keep on twitching, and I notice he's stifling a laugh.

Way to go Claire. You just gave your step dad a memorable Taylor Swift show.

He's not my stepdad, idiot.

After a while of both of us staring awkwardly at each other, he finally says, "I came to get some water for Miles." His eyes are everywhere but my face. He's probably trying to conceal the fact that my face must be ripe with embarrassment right now.

"umm, sure. Is he up yet?"

"Not yet, but he loves to drink water immediately he gets up so I always get him one. I'll be going upstairs now." He turns to leave immediately, without giving me a glance.

I turn back to continue making my sandwich, without the music of course. It's quite boring now as I have no source of motivation, but I finish it up and wrap some to take to school. I leave the rest on the counter for anyone's who's interested and walk back to my room.

After taking a really hot shower and nearly tearing up my gums, I find myself skimming through my wardrobe for anything decent to wear. All I see are over-sized shirts with equally over- sized jeans.

Curse my weird fashion taste.

I finally find a pair of dark blue jeans and a white tank top with a light blue button up cardigan my mum gave me few years ago. I never thought I'd wear it in my life.

My hair looks like I was electrocuted by a curling iron so I slip it down with eco, then tie it up in a pony tail. For once I get the pony tail right.

Today seems to be going well already.

When I get downstairs, everyone's already at the dining table. My mum drinking tea and scrolling through her phone, while Miles is still proudly showing Gabriel his missing tooth. Poor guy must have seen it a thousand times already.

He looks happy though, as he asks Miles what the tooth fairy left for him.

"Hello Family." I say in a cheery voice.

"Morning Cla- What are you wearing?" My mum stares at me, disbelief clear in her face.

"What? Do I look terrible? oh my god I knew I didn't look good." I become panicky and proceed to check my reflection in the toaster.

"No no no, honey. You look great." She gets up from her seat and comes to meet me. "I'm just surprised that you actually put an effort to your dressing today."

"Oh mom-" I say, rolling my eyes at her. "Don't make me strip out of this dress and go with my normal look. You're making me feel weird."

"It's okay, it's okay." She let's go of me and goes back to her seat without another glance.

I go ahead to the fruit tray and grab my usual apple, before saying, "I'll see you guys later, I have to go now or else I'll be late."

"You're going to school?" My mum sounds genuinely surprised.

"Yes ma'am. I'll loose my mind if I stay in this house all day. Don't worry I'll make it to Chemo on time."

"Are you sure that's not too much for you?" Her whole body is fully turned towards me and her face shows deep concern.

"I'm fine mom." I walk over to her and give her a hug. I pat Miles on his head and give Gabriel an awkward nod. The events of this morning still fresh in my head. He seems uncomfortable too.

That makes two of us.

I hurry out of the door and decide to walk to school today, considering it's not really far from my house. I don't see myself driving now, or anytime soon.

Just as I'm about to close the doors, I hear my mum ask me to take a ride from Gabriel. I pretend like I don't hear and close the door. She keeps on asking everyday, although she knows I'll never accept it.

I arrive at school on time and the moment I enter, I spot Mia by the fountain, sitting on the floor. Of course reading a book. She did something new to her hair and for once, she almost appears her age.

"Hey there kiddo." I walk up to her while kicking her vigorously.

"Stop kicking me, will you? You're distracting me." She doesn't even look at me. I really need her approval on my look.

I go ahead kicking her.

"Claire I swear to God, I will-" She looks up at me and her words are cut short. Her mouth hangs wide open and she blinks her eyes furiously.

"Waoh, did I step into a time machine or something?" She's still staring at me wildly, automatically boosting my self confidence. "For the first time in five years I've known you, Claire you look good."

"Thank you, I'm quite impressed myself." I give her a meek bow and settle on the floor beside her. We have a lot of time to talk before the first bell sounds.

"So tell me, who's making you dress this way ehh. Which boy is it?"

She nudges my elbow in a playful gesture.

She knows me so well.

"About that." I continuously wring my hands together.

"OMG. There is a boy! Tell me all about him."

I settle comfortably on the floor and begin to tell Mia everything about Nia'll. From the day we met, down to when he took me to his house and also when he drove me home. I don't give a detailed explanation of what happened at his house. I kind of think that he wants to keep that between us both.

When I'm done, I turn over to look at Mia and notice she has a wide smile across a face. She's grinning like an idiot.

"Why the hell are you grinning like that." I can't help the smile that begins to grows on my face.

"I'm just so happy that you're happy." She scoots closer to me and swings her arms over my shoulder in a dramatic way.

"Look at you, very soon we'll be talking about kids." She loudly sniffs into my dress.

"Don't be ridiculous." I roll my eyes at her, while pushing her off my body. Just then, the bell sounds .

School goes by pretty uneventful, save for the awkward glances I kept receiving from few students. And surprisingly, some teachers too. Some even went as far as howling and even hooting when I walked by. I'm definitely going back to my normal look.

I make Mia skip her drama practice so she can drive me to the hospital. I would have taken a bus, but I was gracefully reminded that my best friend was in fact, a car owner. Why stress myself when I can make her drive me there.

She kept on yelling profanities throughout the car ride and I gladly ignored her. We finally arrive, and she practically kicks me out of her car.

"You'll need me soon, baby girl." I blow a kiss at her.

"Choke on a dick." She gives me her middle finger while riding off.

"She loves me." I mutter to myself, smiling foolishly.

I walk into the hospital still smiling at myself. I stop at the front desk and the nice nurse is standing there. She's talking to a fellow nurse while arranging a few things. She looks like she just arrived.

"Hey there." I wave awkwardly at them.

"Hey Claire. You're early today." She looks around in confusion.

"Nope. I'm right on time. Can I go in now?" I'm already walking towards the hospital room.

"No dear, Doctor Ryan is currently busy. Just wait a while okay?" She points toward the bench at the distal end of the room.

"Thanks nurse?"

"Nurse Brown." She gives me a small smile.

I go over to seat at the bench and a couple of minutes later, Doctor Ryan comes out of his office with a female patient. They're both laughing at what he probably said.

"Claire. Shall we?" He motions towards his office and I follow behind him.

Once we arrive at his office, I immediately plant myself on the massage chair and shift around comfortably.

He gives me an amused smile but doesn't say anything as he begins to plug the wires to my body.

He sits on his own seat and puts on the massage chair. I relax and enjoy this rare feeling.

"So, tell me about your day, Claire." He crosses his legs and gives me a wild smirk.

I tell him everything that happened the previous day and occasionally he would cunningly cough or just make side comments. Other than that, he was silent.

"Do you think whatever you both might be having will last?" He puts on a serious demeanor.

"I mean, I don't know. We've only hung out once. Excluding when I met him. I don't even know his intentions so I'm not putting any hope in that."

"But you were so ecstatic a while ago, talking about him." He stares challengingly.

"I'm always ecstatic." I mumble under my breath.

Just before he could question me further, my phone buzzes with a text message. I hold up my finger to silence what he has to say, as I read the message.

Nia'll: Hey.

"OMG. He just texted. What do I say? Should I text back? I'm freaking out!"

"Chill. What did he say?" He appears uninterested as he's tapping away on his phone.

"Hey?"

"Easy. Reply back with another hey."

So I did just that.

Claire: Hey.

Nia'll: How are you?

Claire: Good.

Nia'll: I miss you.

Nia'll: shit! I wasn't supposed to send that.

Claire: lol it's okay.

Nia'll: Are you free? I want to take you somewhere.

Claire: Sure. When?

Nia'll: Like right now. I'll pick you up.

Claire: Okay. I'm at the Hospital.

Nia'll: I'll be there in 10.

He's coming here in few freaking minutes. I jump off from the chair and yank away the wires on my body. I rush over to one of the machines with a reflective body and immediately stare at my face.

Turning around to face Doctor Ryan, I ask, "How do you think I look? Is my face pale? Do you think I'm over dressed? I'm really nervous." I flop down on the seat directly opposite him.

"You look great. No your face is not pale. You're certainly not over dressed. And yes, you're nervous as hell." He replies without even looking up from his phone.

"That's good to know." I say sarcastically.

He finally tears his eyes away from his phone and stares at me. Giving me one of his crooked smiles. He fishes a lollipop from his pocket, tears open the wrapper, and throws it into his mouth.

"I genuinely think you look great. You might want to get down now. You don't want him going round looking for you."

That's true.

I grab my cardigan from the back of the chair and put it on my body. Check my reflection once again on the machine and finally take a deep breath, leaving the room and awaiting his arrival.