Chapter 14

Listen to: Heart out- The 1975

It was once said, that those suffering from the incapacity to love are living in hell.

CLAIRE'S POV

What's that thing they say? About how time stops?

Time stopped.

The words Nia'll spoke were still hanging in the air. His mouth is still slightly parted from stopping midway through speaking. I wanted to breathe, but I couldn't. I couldn't think properly. I wanted to process what he said. More so, I wanted to feel. I wanted to feel something. Anything. I needed assurance that I wasn't imagining.

He places his palm on my jaw and tilts my face up.

"Say something. Please." His eyes are pleading with mine.

I want to speak. Lord knows I want to, but I have nothing to say. I open my mouth slightly to talk, but nothing comes out. I close my mouth and my eyes too and lean into the feel of his touch on my skin.

So many questions run through my mind. Why did he tell me this? Does he mean it? What does he want me to do with this information? Do I like him?- That's the toughest question of them all. I mean he makes me laugh and feel alive, and he always makes me forget how shitty my life is. I don't want to jump into any relationship when I know I don't have much time left. I don't know what I feel for him, but the real truth is I'm too scared to find out.

The pad of his thumb runs across my cheek and I open my eyes and stare at him. "It's okay. You don't have to reply now." He drops his gaze to the floor and his hand retracts from my face.

I hate situations like these. I've always been too scared to feel anything. Too scared to find out. Why would I begin now? Only to give up later.

"Don't cry, Claire." Nia'll whispers. I didn't realize that I was. He reaches his hand up and his index finger captures the tears before they run down my cheek. Why does he have to be so understanding? Why didn't he get angry and walk away so I can feel less guilt than I already am.

Nia'll removes his fingers from my face and I look up to stare at him. My eyes stare at his lips as I haven't realized how beautiful they look. A little brown at the edges and fully pink in the middle. My conscious and my hormones are battling currently but I let my conscious loose as I crash my lips against his; taking him by surprise.

As our lips connect, I feel his sharp intake of breath. I don't know what has come over me. I have no idea what I'm doing but I don't wish to stop. He tries to push me off him, but I fight back. Like a tick on a host, I cling onto him and fist his shirt in my hands; willing for him to kiss me back. I taste the faint hint of coffee and mint as he opens his mouth and kisses me. Passionately kisses me. His warm tongue runs along mine and the taste of coffee is more distinct there. My whole body feels alive as he grips me by my neck. He holds unto me as he deepens the kiss like someone starved for so long. I have never felt this way and I'll gladly let him have me at this moment.

His hand travels from my neck and he places both of his palm on either side of my hips. He pulls back a little as he stares at my eyes, "don't stop, please." I breathe. He wastes no second as he claims my lips to his and let's his tongue wander into my mouth once more.

My self control is thrown away as I cannot comprehend what's going anymore. Niall's hands are all over my body seeking refuge in every inch of my skin. Unsure what to do, I place my hands under his shirt and pull them up to his chest.

His skin is hot and his chest is heaving up and down; at a fast pace.

He grabs ahold of my hair and places a soft kiss on my lips before he pulls away. "We should probably stop now before it gets too late." He smiles as he doesn't let go of my hair.

"Yeah." I say as I remove his hand from my hair and I try to restore the wet hair to it's former position.

The drive back to my house is silent. This silence is eating me deep as I try not to think about what just happened. I didn't give him a definite response to what he said and I don't know how that makes him feel. I still don't know the answer to the question myself. I want to find out, but I'll stall it for another day. Today has been eventful enough.

I look over to Nia'll to see if he looks mad but he meets my gaze and gives me a small smile. I return his smile. I'm grateful for the fact that he's not mad. At least he does not appear to be.

He reaches for my hand that is placed on my lap and intertwines our fingers together.

He's not mad. He's definitely not mad. I smile at this thought.

When we're almost at my house, I grab my bag from the back seat and place my still wet tank top inside. Nia'll gives me an amused look and I just shrug. He laughs lightly, but doesn't say anything.

Once we're in front of my house, I see my mum talking to Natalie. Natalie is our family friend who runs the grocery store down the road. She has the darkest hair I've ever seen and makes the tastiest brownies. She's expecting her first child and she's super nervous about it so she always comes to my mum for any sort of advice she can get. No surprise she's here by this time.

The car comes to a halt and I'm unsure of what to do. Normally I'll just say bye and leave but the events of this evening changed everything. Nia'll gives my hand a little squeeze and I smile at him. He must understand what I'm debating right now.

I open the door to the car and Nia'll does the same too. I shoot him a glare immediately.

"What are you doing?" I say, the door halfway opened.

"Going down to say hi to your mum. There's no way I'll drop you off, with your mum in front of your house and just drive away."

He sends me 'duh' look. "I was trained properly." He continues saying as he gets down.

I hate that he's right.

"Evening, mum." I walk up to my mum and place a kiss on her cheeks. "Hey Natalie." I say to her as I also walk up to her and give her a sideways hug, due to her bulging stomach. "How's the little one doing?" I place my palm on her belly as I talk.

She sighs before she speaks. "A stubborn one he is, he doesn't let me sleep at night. I can't wait for him to be born so I can finally lay on my belly."

She rubs her stomach in circles as she talks. "I better leave now. Thomas will be back soon and I don't want him to worry about me."

"Oh it's okay." My mum says. "Just do what I said and you'll be good to go."

"Thanks Christy. I don't know what I'd do without you." Natalie says as she makes her way back to her car.

Once she drives off, my mum turns her attention to Nia'll who has been standing at the same spot all these while, nervousness written all over his features.

"Oh mum, this is my friend Nia'll." I say gesturing towards him.

"Good evening Ma'am." Nia'll says as he smiles nervously and stretches his hand for a handshake. My mum looks at him for a while before she accepts his hand.

"Would you like to join us for dinner, Nia'll? I'd like to know more about you."

I stare at Nia'll and shake my head at him, signalling a 'no'. He looks back at me, smiles briefly, before it turns to a smirk and he faces my mum and nods his head at her.

"Yes ma'am. I'd like to stay for dinner."

Oh no. This is not going to go down well.