Chapter 9. Decisions

I knew that soon my path will get apart from Connor's, he would go to college in Boston (MMS) and I to Philadelphia (TU). A long-distance relationship was the last thing I wanted, and Connor deserved someone who wasn't as broken as I was. Connor was important to me and I intentionally threw him in the friend zone thus avoiding two things: 1, I didn't lose him as a friend and 2, I avoided breaking his heart. Connor was very smart and I'm sure he caught the message quickly.

We returned to the cafe where our friends were still celebrating my 18th birthday.

Brad greeted me with a big question mark written all over his face.

"What the hell happened to you Sam?" Are you ok?"

"I wanted to talk to Sam, so I asked her to come out for a while. "

Connor lied for me ,to my surprise.

“Okay! I thought you left because of Kevin. "

" What ? Of course not. Kevin and I have been dating long time ago, I've get over it. "

And that wasn't a lie.

Sandra on the other side asked whispering.

"That bitch was trying to look like you?" The dress, even the hair color? She can dress the way she wants and dye her hair and… "She can't be YOU no matter how hard she tries."

I smiled at Sandra, but the truth is that it wasn't the fact that she was trying to look like me, but the fact that she looked like me in THAT EVENING was strange enough not to tell about her grin. How much did Amy know about what had happened and how did she find out? Was there a connection between her and the nightmare of my life? Would I ever find out?

I went home with my brother. when I got home my I`ve heard my mother's voice, she was talking to someone on the phone.

"I'll probably tell her tomorrow, today I don't feel like I want to deal with her exaggerated dramas."

Silent

"You have no idea what it's like to have to endure all the fuss."

Silent

"You're right, it would be better if I only gave it her to you when she was a baby but she's her father's favorite and he would never agree."

Silent

"Of course I love her, she is still my child, I would have preferred to be a boy, with Bradley things are much simpler.

I ran up the stairs wanting to hear no more, it was enough for one night. At least now I knew what was my fault. I was born a girl.

Brad came right after me.

I was sitting on the edge of the bed in my room with my head down. Brad sat down next to me and wrapped his big, strong hand around my shoulders.

"I'm sorry, Sam. Mom still loves you. She was talking with aunt Eve.”

I laughed sadly

"Yes, of course," I said sarcastically

"I love you sis, I loved you before you were born. Aunt Eve loves you very much."

Tears began to flow down my cheeks.

"Dad loves you."

"And where is Dad now, Brad?" Lately, we can hardly see him at home "

I said sadly.

"So you and Connor"

He said, suddenly changing the subject.

"Connor and I, nothing, Brad."

I said wiping my tears.

"But he likes you Sam, the way he looks at you said everithing."

"I like him too, but not like that. We're just friends."

"Okay, if that's what you want, but he likes you more than a friend."

"Brad, in a few months Connor and I will be in different states, it's a distance of over 300 miles, a long distance relationship would be impossible and I don't want to lose him as a friend. A relationship at less distance than that didn't work. "

"If you mean the relationship with Kevin, well you're older and wiser now."

"What do you mean, Brad?" Do you think it was my fault? ”

I retorted angrily.

"No, that's not what wanted to say sis. I don't know what happened between you two. If you want you can tell me. "

"All you need to know is that Kevin doesn't exist for me anymore and I'd rather never talk about him again."

"Okay, okay. Just one thing and we're done. "

"What ? "

"Next Saturday we are invited to a wedding. In fact, I am a best man. "

"Who's getting married?"

"Do you know James Coleman?"

I froze instantly.

"He is marrying that girl from your school and he asked me to be his best man and he also said that it would be his pleasure if you to come too. "

What kind of sick bastard is that guy?

"I think you are joking."

I managed to say.

"I'm not going anywhere near that individual."

"Why?"

"Because I don't like him."

“I don't know what is your problem with him, you know he's not such a bad guy but if you don't want to go with me I won't force you.”

I said very quickly

"Brad, do you mind if you leave me alone now? I'm tired."

"No problem, sis. You should rest."

He kissed the top of my head, got up and before leaving the room he told me.

"Happy birthday, once again my baby sister!"

He smiled at me and came out closing the door behind him.

Yes, Happy Birthday Samantha whispered my sarcasm to me.

Tonight was more than anyone could bear. I took my clothes off and went into the shower and then went to bed trying to fall asleep. Useless. After a few hours of turning and twisting in bed, I abandoned the idea of sleeping and went out on the balcony to breathe the cold night air. In a few months I would leave this small city that had become a torment for me. I was leaving soon and had no intention of returning here, at least not to live here anymore.