Twelve

Adara woke up from a surprisingly dreamless sleep. She noticed that she was tightly tucked beneath the covers.

She smiled to herself, knowing Beck did it. She couldn't remember the last time that she was happy to wake up like that.

Gabe's fist connected with the side of her face, the crack resonating throughout the small dorm room. Adara tasted blood in her mouth.

Gabe covered his mouth, but his eyes gave him away. He did not do that on accident.

"Adri, baby, I'm so sorry. I just...I just love you so much, and I get worked up sometimes," he explained.

"It's okay," she assured him, smiling through the pain pulsating through her entire face. She did her best to ignore the blood dripping down her chin.

He smiled back at her, relieved. "Here, you should lay down." He directed her to her bed and pushed her into it. He tucked her in roughly and scuttled out of the room.

Adara shuddered and shook her head. She needed to stop thinking about him.

She unfurled herself beneath the blankets and stepped out of bed, stumbling toward the closet. She hoped that there were clothes in there.

She mentally crossed her fingers and opened the doors. Lo and behold, the closet was filled.

She pulled out a pair of breathable black leggings and a muddy green tank top. Rifling through the drawers of the dresser inside the closet, she cheered upon finding underwear in her size.

She uneasily made her way into the bathroom. Was she even allowed to use it?

Adara swallowed her irrational fear and opened some drawers in search of a hairbrush. She hadn't brushed her hair in days, so it was snarled and ratty.

Disgusting.

She walked back into her room and took a breath before opening her door, looking both ways for people. All the doors were closed except for the room she went in yesterday. When she breathed in, she smelled the most amazing smell.

Bacon.

She rushed downstairs and into the kitchen, a small smile on her face. When she arrived, Axton was the only one there. Both times she had met him, he had been cooking.

When he heard her footsteps, he turned and offered her a smile. She gave one in return, paired with a questioning stare. "Why isn't anyone else up?"

Axton picked up his phone from where it sat on the counter. "Probably because it's six in the morning," he replied playfully.

She laughed a bit but stayed in the doorway, leaning on the frame. "So," she began awkwardly, "I got the debriefing last night."

He didn't even turn to face her. "Huh," he grunted, then paused. "We're freaks, aren't we," Axton whispered.

Her heart clenched at the raw insecurity in his voice. Just from the wording, Adara could tell that it was supposed to be a question, but it came out as a statement. To her, that was the worst part.

She stood up fully and went to stand next to him by the stove. Axton stopped cooking for a moment, tuning in to what she was going to say.

"As someone who has been called a freak an uncountable number of times in the past few days," she told him quietly, "I know for a fact that you're not."

Noise from the stove distracted her. The burning grease in the pan was spattering, coming down in speckles on Axton's arm. Tears started trailing down his cheek, but she knew it wasn't because of the burns.

Adara couldn't take it. She had always hated seeing people upset. She pulled Axton away from the stove and wrapped her arms around his waist, seeing as he was taller than her. He didn't hesitate like most men do when hugged, but instantly returned her embrace, looping his tree-trunk arms around her shoulders.

They stayed like that for a while, until Axton was calmed down and not crying. Once he pulled away, he took a deep breath and turned back to the bacon.

"Dammit," he said. "I burned the bacon. I'll just give these pieces to Keahi." Adara chuckled loudly.

Just then, Beck walked into the kitchen, not from the stairs. He must have a bedroom downstairs, then, she thought. Adara gave him a smile, just like Axton had when she walked in.

"Don't smile at me like that. It looks like you did something wrong."

Beck smiled back, and she sighed at herself. Her stupid thoughts would be the death of her.

It took Beck not even a minute to realize that something was wrong with Axton.

"Hey, man, what's up?" Beck asked, concern lining his face. Axton shook his head in response.

Beck walked over, almost mirroring what Adara had done five minutes earlier. He turned off the stove, a crucially important step that Adara had forgotten. Grabbing Axton's shoulders, Beck turned him from where he was looking at the stove.

Beck took one look at the tears in Axton's eyes and pulled him into yet another hug.

Axton must be a very huggable person. She found the parallels funny. That was, until Axton started to sob.

With her, he had let a few tears escape, but, with Beck, he let loose.

Instead of shrinking back from him, Beck pulled him closer, held him tighter. Like a proper brother. A proper friend. Beck squeezed his eyes shut, feeling Axton's pain for him.

Adara turned around and walked out, feeling like she was intruding on a moment. She stumbled around for a while before she found the living room.

She couldn't stop thinking about how Beck handled himself with Axton. He was so kind to him, and accepting, too.

The only time Gabe had seen a man cry, he was thoroughly disgusted.

"C'mon, what are you, a girl? Man up, for Christ's sake. Men don't cry."

She audibly growled. Gabe was disgusting toward others, only choosing to care for himself.

She sat on the couch and stared at the blank television. What was going on in that house? The people here weren't like any she had met. They were just...better.

She was brought out of her daze by Beck joining her in the living room.

"Sorry about that," he said, sitting next to her on the couch. "He just gets upset sometimes."

For some inexplicable reason, she felt worried for the guy she had just met the day before. "Is he okay?"

"He will be," Beck assured her. Adara didn't know how to reply. Should she tell him about what Axton said? About being a freak?

The silence seemed to drag on for hours. She couldn't decide on what to say. But her mouth certainly could. "He thinks he's a freak," she blurted out.

Beck let out a long sigh. "I know." More silence passed. "Want to go back in and check on him?" he suggested.

She nodded and they walked back, Beck's hand on the small of her back. Tingles shot up her back, making the back of her neck prickle.

Gabe's possessive hand took up residence on her lower back. "We're leaving," he commanded.

Her back arched away from Beck's touch, suddenly uncomfortable. He retracted his hand without a word.

They stepped back through the threshold, expecting Axton to be alone. He wasn't.

Keahi was speaking too lowly for Adara to hear what he was saying, but Axton was laughing up a storm. She saw nothing of the man who had broken down in Beck's arms. And nothing of the stone-cold mask Keahi had worn the day before.

Keahi shut down mid-laugh when he saw her, though, his face settling back into its expression of calculated anger. Dangerous- his intelligence made him dangerous.

"I'm smart, and I'm respected. No one would believe you. I know how to play my cards, Adri."

Beck noticed the second that Keahi's mood shifted. "C'mon, man," he pleaded. "Don't be like that."

"Don't be like that, baby."

Keahi's anger amplified. "Really?" he began. "You guys are using her to replace Caspian, and I'm just supposed to be okay with that? With her?"

Beck raised his hands in surrender, but his eyes offered anything but. "You need to calm down, right now." He was losing his patience, little by little.

Gabe's filthy, bloody hands gripped her wrists. "You need to calm down, or I might kill you."

Adara's eyes closed on their own accord, forcing her to reign herself in. Her head felt hot, and her hands. Her birthmark burned.

She didn't know why the memories were just starting, but they were going to drive her insane.

"No one is replacing him," Beck went on, oblivious to Adara's pain. "She's not staying in his room, she's not trying to take you. We won't forget him, I promise."

"I promise you."

Adara was still desperately curious, but she knew better than to interrupt.

Keahi didn't reply to Beck, but chose a seat at the island, stool scraping against the floor.

Just then, Reva walked in, saying "I sensed a conflict." Another downstairs bedroom, Adara concluded.

As a sign of surrender, she sat down next to Keahi. Closer than she liked- than she was comfortable with- but as close as was necessary.

Silence followed, thick and tense. The only sound was Axton's bacon sizzling. The quiet soon shifted into something more easy, less angry. Wordlessly, the cook of the house put a plate of food down in front of Keahi.

No sign of the burned bacon.

She snuck a glance at Beck. He was leaned up against the wall, head tilted back and eyes closed. He seemed comfortable there, in the silence.

"Why are you being so quiet? It's fucking annoying."

She shook her head, resisting the urge to slam her head on the table. Anything to get the voice out-

"Say something!"

Adara hit her fist to her head roughly. If she had to, she would beat him out.

But everyone was staring at her, frowns on their faces. She felt bad for ruining their peace.

Keahi let out a snicker. "You sure she's not an Earth?" he teased, not at all playful.

Reva didn't move her eyes from where they were fixed outside the window above the sink, but said, "She could be, except the voice in her head isn't someone that's dead."

Adara stared angrily, fire burning through her, trying to scorch Reva through her glare. Make her feel the pain that Adara had endured, the pain that cemented that voice in her head, the pain that she was brushing off like it was nothing.

How could Reva just come out and say something like that about her? It wasn't her secret to bear.

Adara bolted out of her stool and out the door, taking the stairs three at a time. She was about to round the corner, to go to her room like a child, when she ran into someone. Their small frame shuddered. Hali.

She hadn't realized she was hyperventilating until Hali grabbed her upper arms, stabilizing herself.

"Hey," she said soothingly. "Calm down."

"Or I might kill you."

"Don't say that!" Adara ordered frantically, nearly shouting over the noise in her head. She couldn't hear herself think.

Hali rubbed her arms, trying to offer some comfort. "Okay, I'm going to take you to your room, and you're going to talk to me."

Adara didn't- couldn't reply. She wanted to apologize to Hali for making her deal with this. Adara knew she was a lot to handle.

Hali led Adara to her room, shutting the door behind her and letting go of her arms. "What is it?" She seemed so confused.

Adara fanned herself with her hands, trying to cool her burning face. "He's going to kill me, he's going to kill me," she repeated. Annoyingly, she couldn't seem to say anything else.

"Adara, I need you to focus," Hali said, snapping her fingers a bit. "Who's going to kill you?"

"I might kill you."

Adara gulped down a breath. "Gabe, it's Gabe. He's going to kill me if I don't calm down. I just need to calm down."

"You're getting too worked up."

"Why do you think I'm so mean to you?"

"Everything is wrong with me," she confided. "That's why he does this. He doesn't mean to, but he doesn't know any better, I swear. But I just need him out of my head." Adara sank down, curling into herself. She didn't know if she was trying to keep herself in or keep everything else out. Maybe it was both.

Hali fell with her, wrapping her tiny body around Adara's. Still, she refused to calm down. She rocked back and forth, forcing Hali to leave some space between them.

Suddenly, the warmth around her vanished. Hali was gone. Someone else had replaced her. Someone of bigger stature and build. Someone stronger.

Adara thrashed in their grip, wanting to escape and get away from the danger she was in.

"Shh, it's only me," Beck whispered into her ear. Strangely, Adara calmed. "It's only me, it's okay."

Finally, the tears poured out of her. "She just told everyone like it meant nothing," she blubbered, a migraine pushing its way into her head.

Beck adjusted his grip and laid his cheek on top of her head. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked. He genuinely seemed to care, to want to listen to her.

"Get over it."

Adara tried to remember when she had started trusting him, but came up blank. No matter when it had happened, she was glad for it.

Gabe's voice pushed her over the edge. She went on for a while, telling him about how she'd felt so out of control for so long. She wasn't in charge of her own life, hadn't been since high school. "And it's somehow even worse because-" She stopped abruptly. Beck didn't need to know that.

"What happened, Adara?"

Her name from his lips and the concern radiating from him made her want to tell him. For a moment, she wanted to share the burden.

She murmured something so quietly that she felt Beck strain to hear it. "What did you say?" he prodded.

"He hits me," she stated bluntly, still quiet. She didn't want anyone but him to know. What she was trusting him with- it was something almost no one else knew. It was hard to trust someone with that, to let them have that leverage.

Beck's body stilled around hers. Oh, so still. He lifted his head off of hers. "He hit you?" His voice was strained, hinting at barely concealed anger.

"It's okay, I swear." That didn't seem to help her case. Beck was still breathing heavily, angrily.

She moved to look at his face. His eyes were closed tightly. Her eyes were drawn to his lips when he began to speak. "Did he ever tell you why?" He looked like he was dreading the answer.

"I really didn't mean to get that angry with you...I know you can forgive me."

Adara told him what she knew to be true and nothing more. "He doesn't want to, it's just all he knows. He was abused as a kid and he doesn't know any better. He loves-"

"If you tell me he loves you, I will get up and walk out of this room." Beck unwound an arm from around him and pinched the bridge of his nose. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes, staring back at her. "He did not show you love. He showed you anything but. Am I hitting you?" Beck asked, then awaited an answer.

Adara wondered where he was going with that question. Nowhere good. "No," she confirmed.

"Well, abuse is all I really know, and am I hitting you?"

Her voice came out more confident the second time. "No."

Beck let loose his restraint and bundled her up in his arms, holding her with more care than Gabe ever had. He hissed through his teeth in pain. She had completely forgotten about his burns. "Is this okay?"

A smile played on her lips. After all that, he was making sure that it was okay to hold her. He must have known the feeling of the littlest things setting him off. "Yeah," she whispered.

Her heart hurt, and her head did, too. Everything she had know was being displaced, and she couldn't do anything to stop it.

"Were those the scars on your arms?" Adara inquired. "From...the abuse?"

Beck sighed. "It was my dad. At first, he just hit, but eventually, he smashed beer bottles on me and made me clean up the mess."

Adara wanted to gag. His own father. "I'm so sorry."

Beck shrugged around her. "We went through the same thing."

She scoffed at him. "No, we didn't. Not even close. Your dad was someone who was supposed to love and care for you. To protect you."

"And Gabe wasn't?" he countered. Beck said his name with a shot of venom.

She quickly changed the subject. "And when you were frozen in front of the television?"

He paused, reliving the moment. "I haven't felt fear like that in a long time," he admitted. "It paralyzed me."

"I'm not afraid. I'm a man."

Adara leaned into Beck's chest, because he seemed to kill the voice. Taking the extra step, she settled her head in the crook of his neck, her parted lips just barely brushing against his tanned skin. His throat bobbed and tightened as her warm breath fanned across it. A breathy exhale came from him, his arms tightening around her.

A surprised noise came from her at the movement. Every noise and breath from one sent the other higher. Adara was reaching toward some invisible line inside her- the line between appreciating his distraction and hating it.

Luckily for her, she didn't have to decide between stopping and letting herself go. Someone opened the door to the room and said, "Hey, Adri-oh."

It was Kaj.

"Hey, Adri."

She reached for Beck's arm and squeezed, trying to send him a signal. He received it and addressed the intruder. "Uh, Kaj, not now." His tone held no indication of what they had just been doing.

"Not now, Adara."

She heard Kaj take a step toward her, then another. With each thud, she shrunk back further in Beck's arms. But he kept coming. Got right in her face, despite the warnings that Beck threw at him.

She screamed, kicked, punched, whatever would get him away. What she had been doing- Gabe would kill her for it. She couldn't get that close again. She couldn't afford to. It would cost her life, or possibly Maia's.

The second that Beck's grip faltered, Adara stumbled away. She fell into the bathroom and slammed the door behind her, locking it tightly.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she sobbed. Gabe would be so angry with her.

"I'll kill you, I swear to god."

"Don't test me, Adri."

"What is wrong with you?"

"Answer me, dammit!"

His hot breath on her cheek, his leg in between hers, a hand on her throat. "I don't care what you want. This is what I want, and I'm going to have it."

She faintly heard Beck hitting the door. Trying to find her way to the toilet through her teary vision proved to be harder than she expected. She frantically looked around the small room, its walls closing in on her.

She panicked, stumbled, and fell. She barely felt her head hit the floor, instead hearing the crack of her skull on the tile.

Then, darkness.