Chapter Nine:

It has been three months since that mission, and AJ still hasn’t gotten over the death of his lover. He stopped eating, stopped sleeping, he didn’t even go on missions as often. When he did, he was ruthless. It hurts Ido to see AJ like this. He was seriously broken and Ido didn't know what to do. He often found himself going to Tomas’s room, in hopes something would give him a clue.

He just wanted AJ to be back to himself, he couldn’t bear seeing AJ the way he was. Ido walked into AJ’s room and found him staring at the wall with no emotion on his face. He didn’t even acknowledge Ido. Ido went beside AJ’s bedside and sat down beside him. He then leaned his back against AJ’s bed and stared at the same wall.

“What…do you want Ido?”

“Tomas wouldn’t want you sulking around, doing nothing. You haven’t eaten in a few days. At least eat something.”

“I am not hungry.” Ido sighed softly before turning to AJ. Ido, noticed the bags under his eyes. He hadn’t slept in god knows how long, so he decided on the next thing. He climbed into bed with AJ and pulled the young male to his chest. AJ’s eyes widened and Ido closed his eyes and held AJ tightly to him.

“Sleep, and then we are getting you food. Whether you like it or not.” He said and AJ gripped Ido’s shirt tightly before letting out a small sob. That noise alone, pulled at Ido’s heart strings. AJ had changed so much since Tomas’s death, and everyone including the boss knew this.

“It’s going to be okay. He is watching over you, it hurts right now, but it will get better.” He whispered against AJ’s hair. AJ’s body was completely shaking, and Ido placed a small kiss on top of his head. AJ normally would have fussed, but it felt comforting to him. He closed his eyes and slowly fell asleep gripping Ido’s shirt tightly. He finally drifted into sleep; AJ held tightly to Ido.

He didn’t want Ido to leave because AJ knew the nightmares of that day would come back. He didn’t want to be alone, and Ido was okay with that. After all Tomas was special to both of them and he couldn’t help but feel saddened that he lost his close friend.

AJ finally fell asleep, as his breathing slowed down a bit. Ido stroked AJ’s hair, and Tyler came in with food seeing the position. Ido nodded his head to put the food on the table. Tyler nodded and frowned seeing AJ so down. He didn’t know AJ if Ido did but even he could see the change. He placed the food on the table and left the two alone.

Ido closed his eyes as well, drifting to sleep as well. He has been so worried about AJ that he himself neglected his own health and sleep routine. Though he took better care of himself then AJ did. Ido placed small kisses on top of AJ’s head before just keeping his face into AJ’s hair.

AJ made a small noise, and it didn’t go unheard by Ido. Ido rubbed his back, as if letting him know everything would be okay. Ido’s body was on autopilot even when he was asleep. Every little movement would cause him to hold AJ tighter to him. Every small sound AJ made, Ido gave him a peck on the head to calm him.

Surprisingly it worked to sooth him, so Ido continued to do that. Never once did he complain, all he could do was be there for AJ. Sometimes, AJ would sneak into Ido’s room, to lay with him. He never teased AJ because he knew AJ needed him right now. Other times, Ido had to force AJ to lay down with him so he could rest.

AJ and Ido didn’t sleep long, because AJ got hungry. He woke up moving around a bit before Ido woke up. Ido looked at AJ and watched as AJ sat up rubbing his eyes. His hand fell on the bed before holding Ido’s hand. Ido tightened his grip just slightly and AJ looked down and pecked Ido’s cheek. Ido was surprised but smiled, nonetheless.

“Thank you, Ido…” AJ mumbled and Ido nodded his head before getting up. He got AJ’s food and placed it in front of him. It was just a sandwich, and some barbecue chips because he knew AJ wouldn’t be able to eat anything too heavy. AJ looked at it before eating it in silence, Ido left AJ alone. Much to AJ’s displeasure, but he knew Ido had things to do.

When AJ was done eating, he got up and grabbed the picture of him and Tomas. The picture showed Tomas leaning down and kissing AJ’s cheek, and AJ’s blushing face. He sighed softly before laying down with the picture and held it to his chest.

“I miss you, Tomas. So much, I really did and do love you.” He mumbled to himself as tears filled his eyes again.

“What I wouldn’t do to hear your voice, feel your touch, hell I wouldn’t mind being called tsundere again.” He mumbled to himself as he held tightly to the picture frame. His world was upside down and there was nothing he could do. He didn’t want to love again, in fact he felt like he didn’t deserve it.

He closed his eyes ignoring the knock on his door, it was probably someone ready to give him a mission. He refused, he wasn’t in the mood to kill anyone or go on missions. So, he kept his eyes closed pretending to be asleep. AJ began to wonder if he should leave this kind of work. He had no more motivation anymore; he was sure it would pass but would he ever want to work with someone again? Knowing there is a chance he couldn’t save them?