네 | four

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

Yunjae's POV:

"Yo, Jae, pass me something to beat the shit out of this guy!"

Taehyung growled as he stared down at an Alpha who was at least a rank below Tae. I quickly snapped out of my sad thoughts, still hung up over the fact that someone had destroyed my nest, and threw Taehyung his favorite 'beating' pan.

Yes, it is exactly what you think: he uses it to beat people nearly to death. But, most of the time it was for a good reason. This time an Alpha had disrespected his omega and had laid a hand on her, seeing this Taehyung immediately jumped over the counter and beat the ever-living hell out of him.

I was still trying to recover from the guy who had taken advantage of me, flinching every time someone tried to touch me and remembering his face every time I saw an Alpha who resembled him. And as it turned out, the heatwave I had gotten wasn't my actual heat. Someone had slipped a pill into my drink early that morning, forcing me into a one-day heat.

It was unhealthy, and it messed with your reproduction system very badly— even by just taking one pill; but people still did this to omegas. It was the same with heat suppressant pills. They do the same thing, they make you less fertile and it hurts your omega side to do so. And if you take enough, eventually you won't be able to have any pups. And as an omega's life purpose, you didn't mean anything after that.

What Alpha would want an omega who can't produce healthy pups? No one.

You have less of a chance to have pups, Yunjae.

You might as well give up now, no Alpha would want you.

Yes, they will... my Alpha will love me as I would love them.

Wrong!

You're worthless now, you let another Alpha touch you.

You're a filthy whore.

No, I'm not! My Alpha will still love me! He'll understand!

No, he won't!

You're worthless!

"You're right.."

I whispered, trying my best not to cry in front of anyone as I weakly smiled at the customer in front of me. "H-Here you g-go, ma'am," I whispered, handing her the coffee she had ordered and giving her the change. "Are you okay, sweetie? You look tired and stressed." She pouted, making me smile slightly.

"Yes, I am perfectly fine, ma'am. Thank you for asking."

I giggled softly, earning a big smile and nod from her. She was my last customer for the day, considering Seokjin had given me a few days off since my scheduled heat would come. "I'm leaving now, Tae. I'll see you later." I whispered, quickly running out of the store and to my car so he didn't see my face.

I still felt bad that they had found me like that, it was embarrassing.

Stupid omega, can't do anything right. Can't even save yourself for your Alpha.

Stop! It was an accident! A stupid, stupid accident!

You know the only way to stop me is to hurt yourself.

No, I won't do it!

Yes, you will!

"It's right.. the only thing to stop this voice is to hurt myself.."

I whispered, tears streaming down my cheeks as I just sat in the car and stared at the brick wall in front of me. "Stupid omega!" I growled, slapping my head a bit to inflict a bit of pain on myself. "No Alpha would want you, you're useless. You probably can't have pups now because you weren't careful!" I shouted, slamming my head down on the steering wheel as I cried even more.

Stupid fucking omega.

Worthless.

Worthless.

Worthless.

Worthless-!

Ring...

Ring...

Rin-

"Hello?"

"Hey, Yunjae! How are you feelin', bud?" Jackson...

"Good!"

Lies.

"That's amazing! Say, you want to go out to eat with me and Mark later tonight?"

"I'd love to! But I'm kind of busy with studies, Jack. Raincheck?"

"For sure! Have fun studying!"

"I will!"

Worthless.

~time skip~

Jungkookie:

Hey Yunnie! We're coming over!

Yunjae:

Wait- please don't

Jungkookie:

We're already at your doorstep so open up!

Yunjae:

Alright...

I let out a small sigh as I got up from the bathroom floor, treating my bloody arms and wrapping them up. I didn't even bother putting pants on, considering the hoodie I was wearing went mid-thigh— also covering up the fresh cuts that I forgot to cover up. I quickly jogged downstairs, wincing a bit every time the fabric brushed up against my skin.

As soon as I got to the door, I opened it to see 7 Alphas staring down at me. "Hey! We came to see if you were okay, Tae said that you wouldn't look at him when you left for work so he figured something was wrong." Hoseok smiled, earning a small fake smile from me. "I'm okay.. thank you for worrying, though." I smiled once again, getting a hesitant nod from them.

"How about I cook for you? You look pale and thin, Yunnie."

I froze up a bit at Seokjin's question, quickly flashing him a worried smile. "Y-You don't have to do that, Jinnie-." He quickly cut me off, smiling warmly at me. "It's no problem! As long as you got the ingredients, I can whip something up for all of us." I let out a small sigh, knowing I couldn't win against Seokjin.

"Alright.."

I smiled, letting them all in as Seokjin and Jimin went to the kitchen to fix us something to eat. "I guess we can watch a movie while they're doing that." They all quickly nodded, Jungkook and Taehyung taking the remote and flipping through Hulu for a good movie. It took a bit before they finally agreed on The Cabin in The Woods, a classic horror movie made in 2011.

As I sat down after turning the lights off, I didn't notice Namjoon and Hoseok staring at my revealed thighs. "Yunjae.." I peeled my eyes away from the tv screen and looked up at Namjoon, flashing him a small smile. "Yes, Joonie?" He furrowed his eyebrows a bit, pointing to my thigh. "What is that?" I felt my body freeze up once again, slowly looking down to see that my cuts were on full display.

"N-Nothing."

I quickly pulled my hoodie down, wincing as the fabric rubbed harshly up against the wound. "Yunjae," Namjoon growled, catching the rest of the guy's attention. I let out a small whimper, still trying my best to cover them up so the others wouldn't see them. "I-It's nothing, Joonie. I just.. got scratched." I awkwardly giggled, internally hitting myself for not coming up with a better excuse.

"You're a horrible liar, Yunjae."

Hoseok sighed, gently lifting my hand away from my thigh and pulling back the hoodie to reveal the cuts I had made on my pale skin. Some were old, but a lot was new and still bled a bit. "H-How long ago did you do this?" Hoseok stuttered as the others looked at me in shock and surprise, probably finding me even more disgusting now that they saw my scars.

"Before you guys got here.."

I whispered, making their eyes widened even more. Taehyung reached over and rolled up my sleeves softly, gasping soon after he found that both of my arms were wrapped up in bandages. "Yunnie.." Jungkook whispered, sadness flooding his eyes. "I know, I'm disgusting. You don't have to tell me twice.." I furrowed my eyebrows together as I tugged down my sleeves, along with the hoodie to cover up my thighs.

"That's not what I was going to say-."

"Dinner's ready!"

We all snapped our heads to see Seokjin smiling, a plate of food in his hand— along with a glass of water in the other. His smile immediately dropped as he sniffed around, setting the stuff down and following the scent— which leads right to me. "Yunnie.. why do you smell like blood?" It was going to be harder to break this to Seokjin, considering he'd go all mother-mode on me.

"Yunjae has been hurting himself, and he didn't tell us."

Yoongi bluntly said, making my eyes go wide a bit. "Y-Yoonie, it's not your place to spread false stuff like that-." He quickly glared at me, making me release a small whimper. "We saw your cuts, Yunjae. Don't act stupid." I felt my bottom lip quiver a bit, quickly standing up and jogging up to my room.

"Yunjae-!"

I softly slammed the door, not wanting to hear anything from them anymore. It wasn't right of Yoongi to tell Seokjin that, but I also understand why he did it. But still, it was my thing to tell; not his. "You're so stupid, Yunjae." I whispered, sitting on the edge of my bed and wrapping up my thighs after treating them. "So fucking stupid."

I growled, throwing the bandages somewhere else since I had messed up. "Fuck this... I just want to sleep.." I sighed, curling up into myself, and quickly drifting off into a dreamless sleep.

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Unedited