Respect

Before she even fell, I already caught her from hitting the ground. She looked pale, worn-out from exhaustion, and all wet from her trial. I looked at her, she looked calm, not quirky like how I first met her or serious a couple of minutes ago. I gently set her down on the floor and laid her there. I stood up and tried to look for someone nearby but, no one was around these areas when we entered. Looking at her unconscious body, I noticed the same kind of tattoo she has on her left arm like Theos' that I saw earlier when I tucked him in a blanket. Hers say 'R. Q.' must be some kind of Initials for something or someone, a token of gratitude toward a person that they've adored or loved, art is written on delicate skin, to not be taken away by centuries, and will stay, reminding them of their great doings to be honored to be marked on someone's skin.

A gust of wind breezes passes me, making me shiver letting me know that it is still quite early in the morning, the sun still hasn't risen fully on the clear blue sky, still trying to climb up the horizon having enough of the moons time, now it is the suns to turn to glisten the earth with its never-ending spark of sunshine, keeping as alight from the darkness of space, bringing forth hope and courage to face another reoccurring day. Vanessa's quivering, shaking from the cold trying to keep warm on her own but is always not enough, I need to get her out of here and back to our room. Without a choice, bent down and picked her up bridal style, my muscles tensing trying to keep her up, straightening my posture, speed-walked out of the arena, like an ant, quickly coming out of the anthill, being ordered to fetch some food for her queen, doing whatever it takes to satisfy her love. But I was not a servant nor is she my queen, but I am her friend and the friendship between us keeps me from dropping her here and going about my day, leaving her here to freeze in the cold wind and be unconscious throughout the day, without a hint of where she is. I wanted her to feel that I am with her, through her journey in this place, because in return, I am afraid that maybe when I do my trials that I don't even know how to achieve, I would be alone, with no one to look after me and see my progress and feel my emotions while doing my task, I wanted someone to help me, in my own journey where I didn't even know I started, clueless of the things I should have known by now, Nessa and Theo were my only hope of surviving this place for not because of the trials but because of my mind, my inner voice telling me that I don't belong here and I will never know my true purpose and identity. Too many questions I wanted answers for, too many questions I wanted to ask, too many to count, and too many to have all the possible answers that would satisfy my hungry mind of its never-ending question on life, for which I have felt lost all my life, without someone to guide me for my only mother passed in my very eyes, I do not feel the same afterward, I didn't know how to live and didn't know how to act the proper way, I was always confused to form the start and I want them to stop, I want to start over, I want to be at peace and not be clueless, finally feel that I belong, finally be a part of something important and I want to feel that I am of value to someone. I longed for attention, longed for gratification, and recognition of my efforts, want someone to celebrate my highs and comfort me on my lows.

I didn't even notice, I was crying while carrying her back to our Area, the tears falling every second, with every step I cried, didn't know why but I loved it. I never realized how deep my emotions were kept, and finally, I felt that I was letting go and releasing all this tension out from me. I didn't expect it to be in this situation but I didn't care, finally, someone that adored me is passed out in my arms, and it triggered me, triggered a special but painful memory in my mind, something that still brings me a smile but at the same time, haunts me for the rest of my life. While running back to our room, avoiding any people that we might encounter not wanting to reveal my sorrowful face to people I do not know and do not trust, I took the long way around the Areas, remembering the map that I saw earlier on the lounge ceiling, reminding me that there were multiple entrances to the Areas and I wanted to take the farthest and least crowded one.

Making it all the way to Area IV entrance at the back, I quickly moved towards the bunker, still carrying her in my arms, looking at my grip and strength, but kept pushing and moving forward, turning corners and halls of the bunker and finally, our room. With my position, I couldn't get her ID card from her pocket without dropping her, nor do I want to put her down on the cold tiles, shouted for Theo, "Theo! Open the door please!" I screamed, desperate to go inside, I felt vulnerable just standing here, a mess of emotions and feelings. Kicking the door, banging it with my feet, finally, the door opens from the inside, Theos confused face looking at me sleepily. "Quick, get her some blankets." I say after busting inside, putting her on the bed, Theo looked shocked but got the blankets I requested. "what happened to her?" he asked as I laid 3 blankets on her, tucking her in. She looked pale but fine, she wasn't shaking anymore nor does she looked in pain, she was breathing fine and life looked like coming back on her face. I exhaled deeply and sat down on the floor and proceed to lay down, exhausted from all the events of today, and the day still hasn't fully started yet, but I was tired.

"She took her final trial at Arenas, the water one. Well, she did amazing but then she passed out right after she scanned to complete the mission." Remembering her face as she scanned her data, hearing the voice, not of the machine, a faint smile on her lips right before she lost consciousness. "Well, that's great! I'm sure she'll be fine, she's a tough girl." Theo says, and I thought to myself,

'she surely is'.