Chapter: 11, Contrition.
Esha's Point of View:
I woke up when the sunlight fell on my face through the gap from the window curtain. I opened my eyes slowly and looked around. I saw Sara hugging me tightly and sleeping peacefully with her head pressed against my chest. Suddenly for a brief moment all my memories turned upside down. I couldn't remember what happened last night. Why did I sleep so intimately with Sara in her room? I removed the thin warm sheets wrapping our bodies and then looked down at my body. Oh God. What the fu*k was that!!!
I was completely naked! I turned to look at Sara. I had no wonder anymore as I saw her same. Shit!!! Then what the fu*k was meaning of that? What the hell happened between us last night? Why the hell I couldn't remember anything at all? As far as I remembered I fainted then when I regained consciousness I was lying in the bed in Rokhsana ma'am's house i.e. Sara's room. After that, Neha, Mahdin, Sadia and Tonmoy came to see me. Neha wanted to take me home...then...what happened next...! Strange! Why couldn't I remember anything??! Ouch my head hurts!! I felt like someone tried to infatuate me last night by showing me some kind of illusion. Why do I feel like I had a hallucination last night? Whatever that was, I was feeling very guilty. What the fu*k had I done to Sara? Did I cross the limit? Oh no, shit! I might have done such a wrong move with her. Nobody would believe me, but I swear I never had any intention to sleep with her. All I ever loved was only Neha. Ever since I fell in love with Neha, I have only thought of sleeping with her and kissing her. I couldn't think of how to forgive myself for the extreme wrong I had just done.
I slowly removed Sara's hand and the sheets from my body and got up silently. Then I put on my clothes and immediately left Sara's room and went out straight of Rokhsana ma'am's house without telling anyone.
On the way home, I was repeatedly becoming distracted. I was feeling a great deal of resentment at myself. I couldn't forgive myself at all. Why the hell did I sleep with Sara? What type of temptation attracted me so much that I committed such a great unreasonable thing to her. I'm so sorry, Sara. I didn't love you anymore. I'm sincerely sorry for giving you false hope last night. Thinking about all those, tears started coming down my eyes.
(*At lunch time in their university*)
When I went to buy food in the canteen in the lunch time, Neha came and asked, "What's up, E? Why are you looking so dead?"
"Nothing. Just a little tired."
"Are you all right, now?"
"Yeah. Pretty much like that."
"It shouldn't be pretty much. You have to be fine. You're looking so worried about something. Look, you can tell me if you have any problems. I'm your best friend. You can trust me without hesitation. I won't tell anyone. I'm always by your side, I promise."
"I made a big mistake last night...for which I can never forgive myself."
"What have you done? You were with Sara last night. Did you do anything to her?"
"I don't know what I did. But when I woke up this morning I saw Sara hugging me and both of us were sleeping intimately. I also saw Sara and I both...two...both..."
"Both were what?"
"We both were completely naked."
"What the fu*k? Seriously? Don't you remember what happened between you and Sara last night?"
"No. I don't really remember anything. I don't even remember that when you tried to take me home last night and then what happened next. All I could remember was that I looked into Sara's eyes...then I went into a trance. As if I was intoxicated! I don't remember anything what happened last night between us, but when I went home today and checked all the signs, I'm pretty much sure that I slept with her last night. I can never forgive myself for that. I never intended to sleep with her..." And I couldn't hold it anymore so I started sobbing hard then broke into tears.
Neha patted on my head to calm me down then gave me a warm little hug. After pulling out she said in a soft tone, "Baby, baby, please, calm down! Listen, I think there's something unusual about that girl. Which I also noticed last night. I think she can read the minds of others. Because when I was thinking before saying something last night, Sara was telling me exactly what I was thinking. And it was perfectly correct."
"What are you talking about? Life isn't a movie or a story book, that these 'supernatural' things will happen!"
"Look, you yourself said that you don't remember anything about last night and you think you've been feeling illusion ever since you looked Sara in the eye. Yes, it would be dramatic to call it 'supernatural', but it can also be explained in scientific terms."
"How's that?"
"Last night I did a research on Google about this. Then I found out some articles on psychology. All those articles had the same summary. And that is 'Telepathy through eyes'."
I didn't give any answer to Neha. However, her words seemed very reasonable.