Alex0024

"I don't want to love you anymore"

It's true.

I'm tired of loving him.

But I was held by an invisible chain, binding me into this inescapable world.

I tried to leave and ended up killing myself.

By the time I lost my breath, I will breathe another one.

A new life again, and again and again.

Like a broken stereo that's been repeating the same old song.

I wanted to die peacefully this time.

And I don't wanna love him anymore.

***
It's a new reincarnation story and is also inspired towards the drama "Extraordinarily you" which I extremely love.

Anyways, I really hope that you would like it all. All names, places and events are fiction and forgive me for my lack of English skills. I'm not fluent in that language and I hope you can understand, thank you.

Please enjoy reading!

Red Strings (RS)

The first time I died and reincarnated, I was shaking in fear.


After all, I experienced a lot of pain and sorrow that it's practically burrowed in my bones. I was in total pain everytime I close my eyes and relieved my past life.


Repeating ones life, playing the scenes back and forth and etching each memories into my bones.


I tried to kill myself but I can't, it's still the same, I still can't.


I kept going back to the day of our fifth anniversary which I celebrated alone.


I first tried to make him love me, but it backfired on me and I was seen as a hysterical jealous woman who wants to keep his husband for all herself.


Then the second time, I tried for revenge and I was soon defeated. I was molested and was taken advantage of, the people who are supposed to love me turned their backs on me.


The third time, I tried to divorce him, but my body won't move. My lips can't open and say that I want to leave him.


Then the fourth time happened, I tried to become cold and aloof towards him. But it didn't help at all, it just made me look like a flower vase for everyone to see and ridiculed over and over.


I tried for the fifth time and let him meet his lover and have their own happy ending without me. But my body was rejecting my actions.


I was soon known as an evil manipulating bitch with a two faced personality and was soon disposed by my husband.


You have no idead how many times, a countless of chances have been wasted just to change my fate.


I was like a puppet, being presented to the crowd with the label of an evil woman. Actions that does not represent my character, I was just an object to be used to highlight everyone's goodness.


So many times I tried to kill myself, but there's this chain on my body that won't let me and even if I succeed, I would be alive again.


I cannot take any more pain, too much, everything is too much. There's nothing more left in me, I was just a vessel to be ridiculed and become a hopping clown in everyone's eyes


I think it was better to die than to live this nightmare again.


I was now simply wishing to have a change, a butterfly effect in this twisted life of mine.


And that is my life, that's Caia's life.


Chapter 1