Alex0024

"I don't want to love you anymore"

It's true.

I'm tired of loving him.

But I was held by an invisible chain, binding me into this inescapable world.

I tried to leave and ended up killing myself.

By the time I lost my breath, I will breathe another one.

A new life again, and again and again.

Like a broken stereo that's been repeating the same old song.

I wanted to die peacefully this time.

And I don't wanna love him anymore.

***
It's a new reincarnation story and is also inspired towards the drama "Extraordinarily you" which I extremely love.

Anyways, I really hope that you would like it all. All names, places and events are fiction and forgive me for my lack of English skills. I'm not fluent in that language and I hope you can understand, thank you.

Please enjoy reading!

Red Strings (RS)

Dreaming makes me feel like I'm reliving a nightmare, the rush, and fright that fell from you as you fall off a cliff and remember that helplessness as I watch it knowing I couldn't do anything about it.


I hesitate to close my eyes, feared that the nightmare would come again but it didn't.


It was a mixed emotion, after I woke up, my dreams weren't like before and it made me want to just sleep forever knowing that once I woke up, it would just become a dream.


She was genuinely smiling at me, something that I've never seen and it made me feel breathless.


Eyes lighting up in glee, lips pursed in a smile as she held my hands. Her small hand was encased in my large ones and I held it with care.


I could feel the infatuation in my eyes, the care and gentleness that I've used whenever she's near and that is not what I am.


Everything that I've done in my dream has been so far-fetched to who I am.


That made me want to try, a future that could've to happen if I just pay attention, if I could just talk to her and get to know her then things would have turned better. 


Something that could not happen in real life, a fragment of my imagination and expectation, just a wisp of air.


The day after I saw her pulled the trigger on herself, I asked myself.


Is she that tired of living to do that? Is life not important to her anymore? What about her parents and her friends?


I couldn't fathom how much pain she was subjected to for her to make that decision. To think that she would leave this world without a word and for me to see it with my own two eyes.


I haven't even taken a step to stop her and then she was gone in just seconds.


I felt cold and numb, my eyes couldn't believe what I'm seeing, her laying in her pool of blood.


My hands shook as I took a step, every step I take was like stepping on my already bruised heart and as soon as I was near her, I froze.


Tears rolled on my face unconsciously and soon, I was covered with them. I held her cold hands, I couldn't hear the noise from behind me and can only see her lifeless body.


"Hospital! Get me to the hospital please!" I yelled at the top of my lungs but no one listened, they were all looking at me with pity.


I don't want their pity, I want them to lie to me and say that she's still alive and that she'll soon be fine.


"Please!" I cried, but they didn't step further.


I've never pleaded before, never said the word please but I can say it over and over again if she would just give another breath of life.


"She's dead" I heard Zhu Rong Heng saying but I look at him with outrage in my eyes.


"She's not! She's not dead! Don't you fucking dare say it again! She's not dead-"


Then I was punched in my face, my lips splitting making me taste the blood but as if the pain was none existent and continued to embrace her cold lifeless body.


A long time passed as cries of anguish rocked my whole body, my hands continued to caress her body with tears falling on my eyes.


I looked up, my vision, all blurred and saw everything turning into dust and soon we were all alone.


I cradled her body and kissed her forehead before saying.


Extra 2