I'll be there for you

" Hey, is it possible for you to come over right now?" The text read and a wave of concern washed over me.

" Is everything okay?" I asked.

" No."

I quickly walked over to his house. He opened the door with eyes red and cheeks puffed. It seemed like he had just finished crying.

" Hey what's wrong?" I looked at his swollen face and put my hands on his shoulder.

" Nothing, just come inside." He made way for me to get inside.

(Something was wrong. It was very obvious that he was just trying to hide it. )

" Zeph, what's wrong? Talk to me." I held his hand and gave it a little squeeze.

" Jamie, my best friend, he committed suicide. He's dead, Jen, he's dead. I talked to him yesterday night and today morning I found him hanging from the ceiling fan."

I couldn't believe what I heard. Without thinking any further, I hugged him.

" I'm so sorry, Zeph."

" I couldn't do anything. I didn't even know he was struggling. I'm a horrible best friend," he said.

" You couldn't have done anything Zeph. And you're not a horrible friend at all.  None of it was your fault. What he did was ultimately his choice. You cannot blame yourself."

" But I should've been there for him. Why didn't he tell me anything, Jen?"

" How could you have known he needed help? He maybe had his reasons for not opening up. But you're not at fault here."

" I can't even imagine what you're feeling right now but I'm here for you, okay? "

" Thank you, Jen."

" You don't need to thank me for anything. I'm always here." I looked him in the eyes and wiped a tear away from his cheek.

We stayed in that embrace for quite long before he pulled away.

*****

It had been 3 days since I had heard from Zeph. I missed him but I also understood that he needed space. I hope he's okay though.

(Why have I been thinking of him lately? Why is my mind occupied with only thoughts about him? Well I care about him so I'm just worried I guess. Yeah that's probably it. Right?)

The sound of notification distracted me. It was a message from Zeph. I was smiling like a fool looking at his name pop up on my phone.

" Hey, the presentation's due in 2 days. Wanna rehearse today after college?"

" Yeah sure, that sounds good."

(I had almost forgotten about the presentation. He sounded like he was a bit better. I was glad. )

" Why are you smiling like that?" Alex looked at me with her eyebrows slightly raised.

" It was Zeph texting you, wasn't it? Nat asked as she looked at my flushed cheeks.

My lack of response was an answer in itself.

" I'm going over to his place after college to rehearse for the presentation," I said.

" Alright, just don't do any stuff."

"Natasha William Stevenson, just for your information, we are friends. Get your head out of the gutter for once." I crossed my arms and looked at her with a frown.

" Zefer..no Zennifer or wait, Zen. What do you think, Jen?"

" Shut up Alex."

Even though I wanted them to shut up, my heart was beating crazy whenever they would take his name. 

" I've seen the way you look at him Jen. It's high time you give someone a chance after that douchebag," said Nat.

(I knew exactly who they were talking about. I had moved on, just not ready to give love another chance yet. )

(I didn't know what I felt towards Zeph as of now. Being around him gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling. I was comfortable and completely myself around him. He didn't judge me and was always nice. )

" Earth to Jen," Alex yelled.

" Stop dreaming about Mr. Gorgeous eyes already," Nat said, teasing me.

" I was not dreaming about him," I tried to explain.

Lies.

Soon it was time for my meet up with Zeph. After 3 whole days. I was excited to see him again.

" Hey Jen."