I trained hard...even though many talked a fool of me. Even if I earned cuts and scars that I know would never heal...I thought nothing of them. As the scar inflicted in my heart is much more painful than this cuts and bruises on my face.
I told myself that this time, I won't let anyone hurt me again. I won't let my brother 'play' with me again. I won't let anyone...take advantage of me again.
I always always wake up early, not to go to the usual reading room, but to my teacher at self defense.
Sometimes my brother was my sparring partner, and oh boy he wasn't easy on me. My parents were sometimes watching, pretending to side on my victory, although their eyes were always on Winston.
And when I get defeated, they'd shout in amazement, but for the love of God, my brother is way older than me!
What the hell?
And they didn't congratulate me, or say anything nice at all, as I show the face of someone who just tried but got hurt.
They will just look at me, then give that fake smile that I know so well.
I felt...unappreciated still even though I'm trying my all to be better. Maybe that's what solidified my goal to just...do whatever.
And not think of consequences, or even them.
I simply f*cking hate those morons.
So I trained harder, even if no one believed in me.
It took me three years but I finally learned how to do them effectively. And I was so hyped to test them out.
Couldn't believe my eyes when I made my first fight. I saw a kid beating up another, and I really am thrilled to show them the new moves I have.
Of course he laughed, looking at my frail frame and then talked bull crap about me.
*laughs*
That was his pathetic mistake. That he didn't even considered running. Running away from a small poisonous jellyfish. He thought he was a shark, well he was, but he wasn't immune to everything.
I was fast, and I easily evaded his attacks.
The poor kid was crying, but I didn't stop.
I know that if ever I was the one who suffered the punches, he wouldn't stop either. He wouldn't have MERCY. He'd just simply..
Laugh it all off.
I smiled. I can't see myself at that time but I knew I smiled. A creepy smile perhaps for others, but it was for me, *laughs* a smile of...satisfaction.
I have never felt this good.
Besting someone.
Beating him up.
I could smell blood, I could feel pain in my knuckles, I could hear him cry.
I loved it.
And I craved for more everyday.
What I did however, weren't yet noticed by those crappy parents I have.
They were all still praising that beast.
And perhaps I needed a bigger fight to draw attention. I needed to be the rank 1 on campus.
And so I did everything I can.
I made a gang.
And oh boy, have I never felt so...free.
Books are fine.
Especially when you reach the ending of it. Satisfaction to its fullest.
That was how it felt when I saw them crying, telling me that they're sorry, then passing out or something.
Sick for some? Worth it for me.
Their screams fuels my every being. And somehow when I beat them up, I imagine them as mom and dad, and that little pest of a brother.
I laughed, and I gave no care in the world.
...
Then...everything was taken away from me when I woke up one day.
I felt at that moment, God saw me and felt that I needed some change.
He took mom.
He took dad.
He took my brother.
The riches.
My friends.
And even if I told myself that I hate them...
Why do I feel empty?
Anger...
Then despair.
That's what I felt at that moment.
I cried. I was a kid...alone at war.
Just 17. And not knowing what to do.
Mom and Dad was wrong.
Even a skilled body, is nothing against the sadness and frustration war is about to give.
I never felt so grateful back then, to have lived my 17 years on a nice comfy home.
I...I asked for God's mercy, even though I've been a wolf among sheeps.
I asked for two things.
First was forgiveness.
And second was...
Humility.
...
Humility woke up from a bitter dream, then found himself on a chamber, locked from the others. With only one open window to peak in.
He'd be there for 2 weeks as inscribed in a tabloid placed in front of him. It was also stated there that his abilities had been sealed for that period of time to calm him down and maybe humble him a bit.
Wow, so the part where he had hurt his friends were not a nightmare, huh?
And he sighed.
He was sure that the darkness has not yet left him. And was uncertain as to how permanent his calm truly is.
He still feels...like hitting someone.
But somehow, he tries his best to remind himself of the evil that occured since he changed.
He leaned at the wall, with the window's being open, allowing light to make him see in complete darkness.
Then, as he was thinking and reflecting about some matters, a white petal fell on his left shoulder.
He seemed shocked, and quite amused. Then picked it up.
He then stood to check the window. And he was flustered when he saw 5 white roses gently placed there. With a note.
It smells perfume.
Somehow, seeing it made him smile.
He picked the note and read it.
Stated there was that he had been asleep for five days, and everyday, she'd give him flowers to remind him that she loves him dearly.
She writes a note everyday, replacing the contents because she had a feeling that he might wake up and be questioning a lot of things.
She told him...that it's okay if she changed.
And she won't ask him to revert back to the old him because this might be the real him. "Reverting isn't an option. Improving from what we currently have is."
She won't ask him to be gentle and caring as always.
Because she understands that he may have pains that she could not understand, herself.
She said that she'd wait until he becomes better.
And that there's nothing that would change her love for him.
That no matter what, she'd always be there.
Written in a beautiful calligraphy, was the name that Humility cares about the most.
Carrie.
Reading that he felt warm inside.
And he wished that whatever illness or sick urges he have disappear.
Humility went back to his position before, sitting in the empty chamber, and whispering to himself, "Oh boy, how far have I fallen?"
...
(5 days earlier)
Red ran, aiming to find Humility as quickly as he could, and as he was doing so, he can't help but noticed the number of reapers, gossiping about something. What made him feel bad however, was the fact that even though their conversations weren't exactly perceived clearly by him, he was sure he heard his dear friend's name. What on earth happened to him that everyone seems to be talking about Humility?
He looked around, panicky and confused, that suddenly, small fingers poked his shoulder.
He turned quickly, and was relieved to find purple eyes staring back at him. She was Carrie.
RED: You're here too?
CARRIE: Yeah, I have been here for like twenty minutes already and I'm telling you, I can't even talk to Humility.
She said, concern carved in her voice.
RED: What happened to him?
CARRIE: He...he lost...his humility, I guess.
Red's face was dumbfounded, then Carrie decided to hold his arm and take him there instead. Since what she saw was pure disbelief.
CARRIE: I think you'd understand more if I take you to him.
Red let the maiden drag him to a room. There were lots of high rankers present there, and it looked as if they were discussing something.
Then he realized what room it was.
Humility had took him there once, telling that those reapers who have sinned are corrected here. His fear then doubles as he prepares himself for the worst, although he doesn't want to confirm his hunch as well.
RED: What on earth happened?
He couldn't believe his eyes as his best friend, who have always been calm and polite was now looking beat up, and chained on two pillars. He looks beastly, and nothing like what he thought he'd see when he arrives.
RED: What happened to you?
But he did not replied.
Red, still determined to find out what happened, attempted to get closer. But a group of white reapers stopped him, telling him that they should only talk to him in a fair distance. Humility is still in rage, and it won't be safe if he approaches him.
RED: But I need to know what happened. Why is the kindest soul I've ever met chained? What did he do to deserve this?
Carrie looks down and explains.
CARRIE: It appears that Humility had lost his mind for a moment and lashed out. Harming Tara greatly. She's recovering as of now on a separate chamber. Nhairon taught him a lesson. I...I just wonder how Humility became this...this stressed. I wanted to help him but I can't talk him out. He won't talk...to me.
Tears then fell from her eyes as she continue to observe the helpless situation of Humility. Why did he changed drastically? It's like he was switched with another person.
The Divine Empress unexpectedly arrived. Which left the reapers star strucked as she walks in their center. Gracefully heading towards Humility.
Nhairon then looked at all the other reapers and had a questioning look. Eyes that asks them madly of who on earth told the Madamme about it.
Alice may have noticed it, because she approached Nhairon instead. Calming him down as she speak.
ALICE: Don't worry, none of them were disobedient of your orders. None informed me of the event. I just happened to sense that something is off.
NHAIRON: I am sorry for the bother, I promise you that as long as I can, I won't let this happen again. Please don't punish him. He learned his lesson already, and he isn't usually like that.
ALICE: I believe you. But I must do something though, no way I'd let this slide. Actually, I am surprised. I didn't know that my rank 2 would behave like that. And for goodness sake. in front of many.
NHAIRON: Whatever you would do to him, just do to me instead. It's my fault for not watching him close enough.
ALICE: You're being too soft. That's not how I manage here. Please allow me to do my things.
NHAIRON: He is already weakened. His body can't tolerate any more damage or he'll disintegrate.
ALICE: That's not the punishment I had in mind, Nhairon.
NHAIRON: What then, my great empress?
ALICE: Remove him from the ranks.
Nhairon's eyes enlarged the moment he heard that. He knew and saw how much Humility earned this title. It was what makes Humility going. It had been a huge part of him.
Somehow he wanted the Empress to reconsider her thoughts, but that would be stepping out of the line. And his objection may lead to more severe punishment for Humility.
The moment he wakes up, he may feel much worst. And he may lash out and do more crazy things. Alice noticed his reaction.
ALICE: That's why I'm removing his abilities temporarily too. And will only give it back if he deserves it.
NHAIRON: This is his whole life, madamme.
ALICE: I can give them my blessings, and I can remove it. Take that reaper on the dark chamber. Those who abuse power are no suited for my divine powers.
NHAIRON: I...I will, madamme.
And Nhairon could only imagine how depressing Humility's wake might feel.