Chapter Fourteen

Slowly but surely the boys come in few at a time Hongjoong comes in and asks if I need anything and tells me he is happy I am home and it is a weird thing to say but these boys do make me feel safe like big older brothers I never had, Seonghwa is like a mom, Hongjoong the dad. Mingi, Wooyoung and Jongho came in and hugged me and did some cute facial expressions and tells me the same about they are excited I am back. Yunho is the next to come in crying his adorable face out "I am so happy you are back, I missed you so much and was so worried!" I wiped his face crying too. "I am so sorry Yunho-ah, I am back now, and I am going to try and be better for you all" We hugged for a little bit and then he left to go do some stuff, I guess that was everyone so I just snuggled into my plushie crying a bit. I wonder why San hasn't been by yet, I guess he is angry with me. I cry myself to sleep.

San POV

It took over a week to stop seeing all the blood everywhere and, on my hands, when I shut my eyes. I still have nightmares about it and can barely sleep. I do not even know what to say to her. I have been talking to the guys about it and they know how I have been feeling and how traumatizing it was to find her like that. I waited for all the other guys to leave her room and I heard her soft cries and eventually it stopped. When I went into her room she was sleeping, her eyes red and puffy from crying. Why does such a beautiful girl cry? I brush back stray hair from her face, kiss her forehead and I decide to sit by her holding her hand and patiently wait for her to wake up and eventually I fall asleep too. In a few hours after I have fallen asleep, I wake up to Seonghwa asking me if I want to help him make her food. I of course say yes and while we are cooking, he looks at me "she thinks you are mad at her, she fell asleep crying because she didn't see you come in and say hi at least. The rest at least came in and made her smile and feel loved. That is our job now is to make her feel loved and safe. You don't have to but you can't just shut her out in the cold. What happened to her is not her fault. It was also her choice not to let us know she was awake and stuff." He says quite sternly at me. Making me feel worse than I already do. I need to do something special for her. Seonghwa offers to let me bring the food to her and feed her so I can have time to talk to her.

End of San POV

I wake up to a very smiley San looking at me with a tray of food. He puts it down on the end table and helps me sit up the whole time looking down. Why is he smiling at me after not coming to see me when I got here? It is sweet he brought me food, but I thought he was mad at me. After adjusting my pillow, He puts the food in front of me and begins feeding me, I never make eye contact the whole time. I make weird noises to show my appreciation for the delicious food because I was hungry, and it tastes 100 times better than the food I got at the hospital. After I am done eating all the food San puts the tray down somewhere and looks at me and grabs my hand. "Himari I am sorry to have made you so sad. I mean I just don't know what came over me and why I did not come see you when you got back home, I guess I was just shocked. I was the one who found you lying on the floor of the girl's restroom covered in blood. I swear my heart stopped beating. I was so worried about you" his voice started to break, he started shaking and I quickly realized he was crying. He covered his face with his hands. I grabbed his face wiping his tears. "Sannie, I am sorry. I can't go back and fix it, but we can try to move past it now." I said and he got up to hug me. We just cried hugging each other. San releases from the hug Seonghwa comes in and looks at me and says "So we got it set up to where you get to do school at home but you have to come in to do your tests. Until you get better. Sort of like an online/hybrid deal the principle knows of your situation and has made the teachers aware and so we all came up with this idea. One of us or someone we know and trust will be staying with you everyday to make sure you are okay and if something happens that we cannot then I will have food made and make sure that you can get absolutely everything you need without hurting yourself is that understood?" (AN:I know things don't work like that but for story's sake lets pretend yea?) I nod and just smile at him thankful that he is going through all this trouble to help me that they all are. San looks at me "Okay I am going to take these food stuffs to the kitchen, wash them and then I will be back okay?" giving me the smile I love to see from him dimples and all.

I slowly slide off the bed after he leaves and walk to the living room where all the guys are being their goofy selves making me smile. I sit on the couch and just giggle at them "So what do I have to do for school while I was out?" I question and they all just look at me "A lottt" Wooyoung says "but we can help you noona" Yeosang says with an adorable smile. They all gather with the work and some pens and stuff and start helping me. It takes San a little bit to join us, but he eventually does. As we are working through it, we get through like 2 days' worth of work because of these amazingly dedicated boys. Eventually we all get super tired and decide to call it a night.

They all hug me goodnight except for San who helps me get back to my room but when I get to my room I notice an extra blanket and pillows on this bed like chair in my room I look at San questioningly as he tucks me into my bed plushie included. "I am your new roommate while you are healing. So, you are not alone" It makes me start tearing up a little bit because I truly feel loved right now. My heart felt like it was doing backflips so I decided to lay down and try to sleep and while San was trying to get comfortable before I drift off to sleep I look at the end of my bed "goodnight Sannie" I say as I doze off to sleep.

Sometime in the night I hear a soft mumbling and whimpering coming from the end of my bed. I slowly get up and go to San and see it is coming from him. I move his hair from his face and shake him gently. "Sannie, you are having a nightmare, its okay." After a few attempts like that he finally opens his eyes, and they look terrified. "what's wrong?" he asks looking at me and grabbing my face to make sure I haven't been crying to see why I woke him up. "San, I think you were having a nightmare." He looks down "I am sorry to have woken you. I can go." He starts to get up, but I grab his wrist "does that happen often? The nightmares?" He just looks down and nods. "I get them too...want to lay next to me, I mean if it isn't weird or anything." I say letting go of his wrist. He looks up hopeful but worried. "its okay" I say coming back to the bed grabbing Shiber on the way to lay in between us. He just comes over with his pillow and comes to lay next to me cuddling Shiber and me cuddling my red panda Yunho got me as a child. San sees it and ask, "where did you get that panda?" I just smile and look at the red panda "It was my 6th birthday and I made Yunho and myself friendship bracelets and he got me this, loved it ever since. He's always been there fore me, he even tried really hard to be there after..." I started tearing up and San takes me and hugs me kissing the top of my head "shh it's okay you don't have to talk about it okay? Also thank you for letting me come up here." As he releases me, I just hold his hand and smile "anything for you, nighty night Sannie" I say and we smile at each other and fall asleep holding hands.