Chapter 81: JUST ACCEPT HELL

(Ken's POV)

Struggling was no use at the moment,

So I just laid silent, waiting for the next thing to happen,

I felt very scared when I saw him smiling,

I don't know what kind of extreme thoughts, a devil would be thinking.

The next events...felt too much for me to describe,

Let's just say that he scooped my left eye, as I yelled and cried combined.

I...don't know what's much horrifying,

Having my eye agonizingly removed,

Or seeing my eyeball in his hands,

As I fight myself to puke.

I felt my very own blood pouring continously,

As I try to remain concious, although my brain is failing me,

The stomach-turning smell of iron filled my nose,

As I felt numb, and couldn't even feel my toes.

Even my throat, felt so tired and sore,

I could barely take it, I wish there's no more.

I looked at him, asking for any hint of mercy,

But what's painted in his face, further gave me misery.

He's a demon alright,

With his eyes as dark as the night,

And his smile no regret for what he've done,

In fact, it gave him satisfaction, and a wide smile comparable to none.

I accepted Death at that very moment,

I just laid motionless, and left him to it.

But rather than laugh, or mock my lack of movement,

He simply put the eyeball on a jar,

As he asked me something.

"Do you really believe it God?"

"I do..with everything I've got."

"Do you believe He is fair and Righteous?"

"He is..."

"Are you sure you're not confused?"

He then sighed, as he touched my empty socket,

The wound healed, and it closed in a quick moment.

I felt surprised, as I never thought a demon could heal,

"I was the first Raphael, but as you guessed, I turned against His will,"

I don't know what to say next, as I was still too tired to talk,

He went on further, after making sure my chains were thoroughly locked.

"God is not as fair as you think He is,

He can be wrathful, if He would please,

He could choose favorites, and we can't say anything,

I have been loyal to him, but recieved no acknowledgement nor greeting..

Well, I guess it's to be expected,

After all, I'm one in trillions He created,

But...I just can't understand the logic behind it,

You people sin, but can be forgiven.

However...if I, if I turn against Him just one time,

He kicks me out of the heaven, with no hesitation, but guess what? I'm fine.

After all, who would want to live a servant to that hypocrite anyways?

I'd rather be a ruler in hell, than to do everything He says,"

I was shocked at what words he told me,

Part of me was scared of what he'd do, but other part was brave enough to tell him,

So I sighed and thought of what to say,

I need to defend God's grace, in case I die here anyways..

"You...you are loved, the fact that you exist means you are loved,

He thought about you, He gave you everything you have,

He gave you the privilige to serve and make earth a better place,

But you chose to turn against him, than to humbly stay..

He loved you, but you are too arrogant to know you are wrong,

You are too arrogant to apologize, and your complaints too long,

But He is God, and He thinks of everyone He had created,

You, me, and all, that in this world, ever existed.

You just kept shutting Him down, thinking of yourself,

Thinking of these material things, thinking of comfort and lavish wealth,"

He felt shocked that I dare talk to him,

That I dare point out his obvious sins,

But I was ready for anything,

Even though I know I may not win.

He frowned, as he then turned his back on me,

"So this is how it's gonna be?"

I then felt a hard object hit the floor,

As he now turned to me, his face different than before.

He have a wide wide mouth,

With stitches and scars, all placed about,

His neck also looked like it's been put there,

While his teeth, were found nowhere.

"I've been hiding what the heavens gave me for years with magic,

Now tell me...does this face look like a blessing? Perhaps even love?

Doesn't this scream, pain? Hate? And tragedy?

Now, tell me Chosen one...does this look like He loved me?"

I felt horrified, and stuck, I don't know what else to say,

As I hear him laugh, and picked the object that had left its place.

He put what looks like a mask, back in his face,

As it morphed perfectly, how it haunted my day.

"Don't say anything about His kindness when it was I, who've been there to know what it's like,

Don't act righteous, upright, and kind,

Because you're not...you will never be able to win,

No one is truly righteous, all of us...have sinned,"

"True...and that's why we need God in our lives,

We are assured to win, if He's on our side,"

"And where is that God now? When I plucked out your eye?

When I killed your friend? As he carry you still on his arms?

Just accept hell, just accept the truth,

That your hardwork for true salvation, sometimes don't bear fruit.

You can try as you may to be loyal to God,

But in the end, you won't get everything you want,"

"And that's fair. God is fair. Even His beloved children suffers, and we are aware,

Without pain, without the storms, without the hurt,

We won't feel alive, we wouldn't have tested our worths.

God is doing this, to assure that we are worthy,

Worthy of the promised land, and all its untold glories.

For God, I would suffer this hell, this adversaries,

I will suffer the pain, and all the horrors,

I would accept any blade, that would be inflicted to me,

I will do it, I will accept it, as I would, to accept great honors,"

Azazel smirked, his face unamused,

"Faith and Delusions, you should not confuse,

You have been blinded by His empty promises,

In the end, you know who wins, and who loses.

In the long run, we already achieved victory,

Since humanity loved to sin, they chose us, among the choices.

And I...don't even know why you want to save them,

You're only wasting your efforts, Ken.

In the end, if you did succeed saving humanity,

You know they'd go back to their sins eventually,

It's an endless loop, of redeeming and falling,

A big chunk of humanity cannot be saved, and to hell you know they'd come tumbling,"

"But I still need to do what I am chosen for,

I need to save those who believe, and awaken more,

I need to make them have faith, that I didn't have before,

I'm sorry...but I'm not accepting hell, not...anymore,"

Azazel's face seemed more impatient,

As he sighed and thought for a while,

The room felt still, felt cold and silent,

Before he continued continued to break the tile.

He seemed furious, that I can't agree of what he had to say,

That such noises made a voice yell back in frustration and dismay.

The door opens, and Azazel quickly quiets down,

Seeing a man with one horn, stare at him with a frown.

"I'm sorry I disturbed you, Belphegor,"

"Just do what you have to do with the boy,

If you want to kill him, kill him quickly,

Don't make unnecessary noise,

for I can hear them all, unfortunately.

Our rooms were much closer than you think,

So just do everything, and clean this blood stains, it stinks,"

Azazel bowed down and waited till Belphegor gets through the door,

As I stayed quiet, observing the outside halls,

When the door eventually closes,

He stares at me with the scariest eyes,

As he left me still chained, as he whispered, "Good night,"

...

Lluming woke up before Asmodeus and Sellena even did,

So it gave the two some sort of embarrassment, knowing his routines have already begin,

His blonde yellow hair was already wet and fragrant,

As he looks at the two, ever so stagnant.

"For a Prince, you sure are lazy,"

"I don't care, you're not the boss of me,"

"Fetch us food now, or else she'd go hungry,"

"Hey, I just woke up too, just be quiet, I need to pee,"

Asmodeus irritatingly passes through him,

As Lluming laughs, and gives Sellena a grin,

Sellena plays along, and was happy Lluming was feeling better,

Although he treats Asmo lowly, at least it's a sign he's well from fever.

"Lluming, are you bothered by your long hair?"

"Sometimes. But why would you ask?"

"I would gladly give you a haircut if you're okay,"

"Ah, just make sure it'd be an easy task,"

Sellena felt bored as Asmodeus limits her movements anyways,

So she decided to grab a pair of scissors as she cuts Lluming's hair,

Lluming felt alien, to the soft and gentle hands,

And felt a bit embarrassed, having been introduced to new feelings he can't understand.

Is this what a woman's touch feels like?

It makes you bashful, and it just feels right?

The angel quickly closed his eyes as he covers his face,

"Lluming? Are you okay?" Then his heart continued to race.

(An angel must not fall in love with a human,

It's a hindrance to my duty, a hindrance to my plans,

She is not supposed to make me feel this way,

She is a human, and I'm of different race.)

Those thoughts were quickly interrupted by Asmodeus,

Who by the look on his face was obviously jealous,

"I need a haircut too! And a kiss! And a hug!"

"Stop acting like a brat, always whining to get what he wants,"

"You shut up, Lluming. This is my wife and my territory,"

"You shut up and wait, Asmodeus, she won't do my hair all morning,"

The demon finally sits down,

But in his face was a clear and pained frown,

Sellena chuckles as she focuses on cutting,

"You guys need to get along. You look like kids, when you're in fact, two powerful beings,"

Lluming only smiles, and accepts her criticism,

As Asmodeus felt, like he's dying from waiting,

"Is it finished? Can I have my turn now, please?"

"Just cut your hair with your ridicoulously long nails,"

"Why are you always like that?"

Asmodeus angrily asked, as Lluming continued to mock.