Ep16: A Sensible Ending

"Virto, I need you to watch these two again," Di asked, pushing Holi and Ice inside the building.

"Di, it's 6 in the morning," he said tiredly, his eyes droopy as he was half asleep.

"I know! But this is very important that I am here today."

"Can't we do this in four hours?"

"I understand morsel, but this is one of the few times it is just out of my hands enough for me to adjust on my side. Just, tuck them into bed next to you and wear these," she said, putting ear muffs on Virto's head. A flash of light washed over them, locking themselves to his ears. "Surely if the bed can fit an inari it can fit a small automaton and another the size of a key trinket." Virto sighed and took them inside, Di closing the door once they were deep away in the library. She cleared her throat and poofed up a mirror to check herself, making sure she was well and presentable.

Feeling a presence approaching, she hid away the mirror and sat desirably in front of the library. "Well well well Lao!" he said as he was in view, running up to her with his sword in hand. "It seems you have finally found my secret location!"

"I'm gonna kill you!" He said, leaping up to bring the sword down on her head. She grabbed the blade with ease, stopping his attack in its tracks. The sword shook as Lao tried pushing it down, but Di's arm stood firm. "You have to wake up quite early in the morning to have a chance of taking my head."

"Do you have any idea what you have put me through during the last few days?"

"No, but please remind me. I just love it when my plaything's face is all scrunched up and motivated~" She booped him to set him off, then leaped away from a sideways swing that cut through the door. "Tsk, Tsk, Tsk. Too sloooow," she sung, leaping away again from a jab. "Come on Lao, can't we discuss this instead of fighting?"

"How about you try babysitting hellwans then!?"

(Flashbacko!)

"So, you are Hunget?" Lao asked, holding his hand out towards a green wan child with a club in her hand and brown-orange hair covering her eyes. "My symbol glowed, so that must mean that you are in my care for today." The green wan nodded, pointing to her three sisters that were surrounding Maggie. "I see. So, what should I do?" he wondered, muttering about if children are able to drink coffee when she winded up his club and hit him square in the nutsack. His eyes rolled back and his knees buckled as he crouched over, holding his poor junk as the wan climbed onto me and proudly proclaimed Victory.

(End of flashback)

"I'm sure they were nice, their mother and father told me that they were able to spend some time together," Di said as Lao dashed beside her and delivered a swing on her arm. It collided as if her arm was steel, sending sparks flying as the sword grinded against her body. "Well that is unfortunate for you!"

"How about when you sent that mamono!?" he yelled next, his white aura reacting to his anger and lighting up brightly on his body.

(Another flashbacko!)

"I will admit Lao, I'm pretty sad that this was the last book in the series," Issia said as she closed the one in her hand. "I'm glad the author found love with a cockatrice, but now...I do not know." She placed the book down, staring out at the lake. "Now we have nothing else to read…"

"Oh, are you...sure about that?" He asked, hiding his smirk behind his cup of coffee. "What if I happen to know of another book in the series?" He could see Issia's ears wiggle a bit, intrigued by the words that had found its way into her hearing tools. "But that is impossible...I even checked out of desperation!"

"I knew you would, so I hid them! We actually have a few more to go through!" Issia laughed and hugged him before looking around. "Where are they then? Wait...are you tricking me?"

"Not at all." He casually put down his cup of coffee and went to one of the trees surrounding the lake. He had been planning this for a bit in advance, ready to surprise her with more to read. He hopped up a branch and started ascending, Issia waiting by the lakeside as he disappeared in the foliage. While she waited and hummed, a yell of pain sounded from the tree, followed by a scuffle. Lao and a blue form feel down from it, the blue one falling too fast to get a clear picture. "Lao?" Issia yelled, going over there to see if he was harmed. He laid in pain beside a blue oni, with not much height and bust to her hame. Most of her body was concealed in form-fitting clothes similar to a ninja, and under her arm was a jug the size of her body, filled with blue liquid and tipped off by a cap that narrowed into a small point. As for Lao, he was knocked out and his shoulder had thin purple smoke rising from it. Upon a closer look, the purple was coming from a cut that was filled with the blue liquid. She picked him up and coiled around him, trying to squeeze him awake. "L-lao, are you ok?"

"Nooooooo," he said. His voice was a throaty whisper of what it was, eyes barely open enough to let light in. "I think...that was aphrodisiac."

"How dare she!" Issia turned around, but the oni was running away, leaning forward with her arms trailing behind like she was in some anime or something. Unable to catch her, she turned her attention back to Lao, moving in circles as she tried to figure out where to go.

(End of flashbacko .w.)

"It was just a temporary incubization. No harm in the end, except for awkward erections,"

"I had to go to a medic!" Lao yelled, jumping back and quickly loading his revolver. "Do you know how hard it is to get a lust potion out of your system without sex?"

"Just have sex dear." Di raised a blue shield to block the oncoming bullets, watching the satisfying ripples of the projectiles hitting it. "Simple really. You even have a proper monster girl to aid you." The stream of bullets stopped for a moment. Di put her ear to the shield, but he didn't hear the little clatter of more bullets being added to the chamber. "Strange, has the hero given up already?" she asked herself, lowering the shield. His sword went sailing into her neck, piercing through her skin with the force three minotaurs. "Ahhhh cupcakes..." She yelped as Lao closed in on her, pressing her against the wall as clear blood streamed down her neck. "It seems as if my hubris has gotten the better of me. Well done morsel!"

"Take the symbol of my wrist!" He demanded, pushing the sword further down. The Lilim gagged as it appeared through the back of her neck, coughing like an unvaccinated child. "D-done…." she said, the blue imprint evaporating away. "You are rewarded for making it this far."

"Now where is this man I'm supposed to find?"

"Merely inside of course. Just take the, cough cough, sword from my neck and I will be glad to show you him."

"How do I know you will comply?"

"If I am being honest, even Lilims require time to heal. Also, I am losing oxygen." Lao pulled the sword from her neck, letting her stagger against the wall. "Well?"

"Just a moment," Di pleaded, her wound stitching itself up with magic, appearing string. She grasped at her neck, smiling once more as she could feel none of her insides on her fingers. "How Lovely. Oh yes, I promised you a captive."

____________________________________________________________________________

The Lilim took him to a bed in the middle of the library, where two children and an adult were sleeping. All of them had some form of ear coverage as they slept. To any normal person, it would be sensible as the sun had barely emerged to radiate onto everything. However…

"What spell do you have them under?" Lao asked. "Release them."

"Spell?" For a moment, Di had forgotten what she had been doing, focusing on her neck was healing together. "Yes. Someone like you probably had used some magic to keep them in a coma."

"Coma...why yes, I..did." Freestyling a bit, she leaned over Virto, tapping his earmuffs. "Why you see, what is a devious lilim without a devious plan. Yes, it is true! These earmuffs keep them fast asleep!" Lao clenched his teeth while Di was just glad she saved it. "I shall take them off and restore their memory, but, you must do the hardest task of all. You think I would have given them to you for free?"

"I will not listen to you anymore!" Lao said, drawing his sword. Di raised her shield once more, surrounding herself in it. "That's right Lao! Humor me and leave your long lost friend stuck under my magic!" Di waited as bullet after bullet hit the shield, but she had learned from her mistake before. She had made the orb that encased her one way so that she could see Lao, but Lao had no idea that her protection was only half-opaque. She watched as Lao faked reloading his gun, then silently raised his sword. "Huh," she said, poking tiny holes in her shield to communicate. "You know, this looks like a really obvious strategy when I see it with my own eyes…"

"I thought your shield was opaque…"

"It was, but I am not getting fooled twice. What do you take me for, a hack? Now, will you listen?" Lao lowered his sword, begrudgingly putting his weapons away. "Good. Now then, your task to triumph over all tasks will be…" her pause for dramatic effect made Lao's heart rate speed up as he steeled his mind to take on any horror she might throw at him. He could see it in the gleam of her eyes as she glowered, cackling as she uttered the words-

"Meeting with the bunyip's family!"

"How evil could you ge- what?"

"Meeting her family. I know you will probably go and leave this world once you have found him, but you might as well go to home plate with her. Besides, watching you struggle in awkwardness only meeting your mate's parents could provide just makes me wanna-"

"I already met Issia's family."

"Oh? Really?" Di started checking her records of the symbol to make sure he wasn't lying. "Oh, you have! How has this footage gone under my radar?" Lao shrugged, rubbing the back of his head.

(Another One)

"Come on Lao, hurry on inside?" Issia said, trying to pull him along faster. "My creator is a really nice mom…"

"Creator," Lao repeated, too busy looking up at the size of the laboratory they had gone to. It reminded him of older architecture, with its dome top and smaller spires to make it stand out against the landscape. It was at least fashionable, but it was really isolated. "You really came from this lab?"

"I'm not a normal bunyip you know. I don't know exactly how, but I have the fur of a yeti!" She places his hands on her tail, shifting them around. "Doesn't it feel cool?" Lao nodded in agreement, Issia lifting his hands and waiting a bit before placing them back down. "Now how does it feel?"

"Warm, like a walking furnace," Lao said pleasantly surprised. "Mmhmm. I even have the fangs of a scorpio, although my creator said that it was leftovers from another experiment." Issia opened the door, the two walking into the main corridor of the laboratory. They were under the giant dome roof now, pillars supporting all the weight that came with the structure. Their movement echoed through the pure white room, Lao in astonishment on how large and empty everything was. "I thought this was a laboratory…." He said, seeing nothing that had been placed on the floor.

"It is, but my creator doesn't seem to be using anything today. Which means…" Issia redirected their travel, taking them through one of the doors that lead away from the main dome and deeper into the building. "She's in her bedroom!"

Lao felt imposed by the grandeur of it all, wondering what the creator was like if her facility was as professional. Nothing looked a hair dirty or out of place as they walked. Even the small amounts of dirt that they tracked seemed to disappear each time he looked behind them. "We're at the door!" Issia suddenly announced. The doors were large sliding doors that looked sculpted out of hard-to-see-through glass. There was a blob of a green and purple form in there that Lao could make out, looking larger and more imposing than she could ever imagine.

"A-already?"

"Mmhmm. Her doors are really nice, aren't they?" They heard a moan from inside, followed by bone cracking. "Issia, I know we are together now, but I don't mind neither of us meeting our parents…"

"Don't worry, she's really wholesome." Issia nuzzled Lao and pulled open the doors, pulling him inside with her tail wrapped around his arm. He saw a mix of a hellhound and manticore, that had dark brown skin and the signature tail-pussy of a manticore. Her red eyes glowed with the flames of a hellhound and she wore swimwear. She was pressing down on a gremlin, eliciting groans as she gave the small thing a deep tissue massage. "Hi Issia!" The hellcore said. "Oooo, who is that?"

"This is Lao!" Lao nervously waved to the hellcore and held out his hand "I am glad to have finally meet Issia's mother."

"Oh? Me?" Issia and the hellcore both laughed, the hellcore stopping her massage to hold up the comatose Gremlin. "I could never be...ha, mother! This is our creator!"

"The gremlin?" Lao asked as the hellcore came up to him, holding her up. "Creator Leaf, this is the man that Issia talks about." The gremlin sleepily lifted her hands, grabbing onto Lao's hand and shaking it. "Welcome, welcome….zzzz"

"The creator was testing a sleeping agent, but it made her insides cramp up." The hellcore said. "Do you think the creator wants us to use Lao in the "experiment?"

"W-what! No, he doesn't like sex," Issia said, holding his arm. "He wouldn't like it at all."

"Sex? What are you talking about?" Lao couldn't help asking. It was only five seconds in and he was being left in the dark, like a kid blindly following his parents around as he looks for people his age at the wine party. Issia shook his head at the hellcore, the hellcore smiling and going back to her massage. "It is a really fun one Lao, but it would require a bit of… hands-on participation. And an organ of yours enlarging." She pointed a finger at where his balls and dick were. "You wouldn't mind helping out family, would you?~"

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhh…."

(Last flashbacko, I promise ^^)

"Ha, I cannot believe I didn't notice this!" Di said, watching each moment of his interaction with a bowl of ramen. "Who knew my plaything was such a sub behind that sword, throwing himself away to get incubized….."

"I said no," he pointed out before she could get carried away. "No is just a way to prolong a 'Yes'. And this is definitely going to happen eventually," she said, chuckling as she scooped up another mouthful of ramen. "You thought Samantha was the mom. Ha!" He stewed in front of her as she finished her food, wondering if it would be wrong to stab her while she wasn't looking.

"Ahh, rich. I will watch the rest later. For now, I suppose I must erm, release your friend now." She said, placing her bowl down as she went to a window to check the progression of the day. The sun was still coming up, but now it was shining brightly against the side of the library. "Do you mind waiting until it is morning? My pet tends to get cranky when he has to wake up early. Humans and their sleep schedules," she said, shaking her head in disappointment. "Being a lilim is much more preferable. No need for such a peasant thing such as rest."

____________________________________________________________________________

The sun had risen and was shining down on the library. The birds were chirping, the breeze was blowing, a dark mage was swearing like a sailor as she was repairing her door, and the area around it. Lao and Di stood around the sleepyheads, having moved the children to another place for privacy. "Now I must warn you. I have done nothing to your friend. The changes you will notice in him all came from his own adventures...you may not like them."

"I am prepared," Lao said. After all his has been through, he was ready to solve this mystery once and for all.

"Do you wish to continue? Make sure you have saved Lao."

"I don't know what saving is."

"Right, you would need your memory to understand." put a finger on his temple, clearing her throat as she searched her own memory for the right spell. "Let us see here. If you came from where Virto came from, you most likely have been affected by the portal….ah, here is one…erotserday omemyray uoyray eedmay iyay, italnay ipgay uorhthgay itay innurgnay, adnay egassemyay ihtsay isrevergnay. Byay!"

There was no flash or explosion. A spell to restore memory doesn't need fireworks, except for the ones going on in Lao's head. All of a sudden, he had felt cramped in his head. In his mind was suddenly a new life that he had lived. All the slang, the few names, the weird images, they were all real!

But which one was him? He wondered. Was he originally a die-hard orderite, or a fellow black man? Did he travel by wagon, or by bus. Why the fuck did hentai look eerily like the first life, why does he curse in one and not in the other and...what is an n-word pass?

"How do you feel?" Di asked him. He wasn't done processing, however. He couldn't be reached. Two souls were making their case for control, but which one to believe? It was like looking from the outside in, being given two options for who he wanted to believe, both wildly different from the other. He looked in and out of glimpses of both lives for clues, until…

"But, I do want to thank you…." went Virto's voice. Ah, a quick thinking session concluded that this one was a pretty recent memory. A crystal clear one actually. It was the time he went down to his friend's lab and decided to go into another...world to save…him.

. . .

"Lao?" Di asked again. Lao opened his eyes, rubbing his head as he looked around him. He looked down at Virto, who looked a bit more feminine than before. He started having long hair after a while, definitely. But was it always this well kept?

"Lao, you're not answering."

"Shut up, my name is Lalu. Are you...you're not the god I was talking to."

"God?" Di thought. "No, I don't think I was. You must have been referring to the Chief God. She does have a large presence in humans."

Two and two had finally come together. He was definitely still Lao, but somehow he had ended up as this version of Lao. Armed with a sword and enough bullets to get a lifetime pass at a shooting range and….awfully muscular. He could get used to this if this was his new body. "Is that Virto?"

"In the flesh." Lao took off Virto's earmuffs, taking stock of his friend. The more he looked, the more he became convinced that he had definitely turned into a trap. He shook his shoulder to wake him up, watching him roll over and yawn as he stirred. "Vargas, you've gotten smaller…" he said, looking up at him. "Wait...oh frick!" Virto sat up, a nanogun appearing in his hand. "Get out!"

"Dude, calm down it's me."

"...Dude?" he lowered the gun. As far as Virto knows, who would say 'dude' in this world? "Who are you?"

"I could ask you the same thing nerd. Who's Vargas?"

"A very handsome young kitsune!" Virto said, a small blush forming on his cheeks.

"Wait, I thought you were asexual."

"Wait a minute, I've only ever told Leana and Lao that I was that….but only because-"

"You were such a nerd that you cooped yourself up in your house and had zero conversational skills."

"...Lao?" Virto said, the gun disappearing. Before Lao could confirm it was really him, Virto rushed him from the bed, tackling the knight down onto the ground. "Lao, oh how I missed your smart butt!"

"Even as a trap you still barely curse," he said. "Then again, I seem to be white, so…"

"So what…...oh."

"Mmhmm."

"Well well well," Di piped up. "I feel forgotten here."

"Sorry Di," Virto said apologetically.

"It is alright, I was never one for linguistics anyways. While you two catch up and figure out if your special case circumvents the social and institutional barriers of race, I have something else to attend to. Namely my other pets...here, not on earth." They nodded, waiting for her to leave before going back to embracing each other. It had felt like an eternity for both of them, but the two friends could finally see each other again. Although, there was one more thing they had to do...

____________________________________________________________________________

"You're going on a trip?" Issia asked Lao. He randomly came up to her at sunset to break the news. Admittedly, it wasn't the best choice on his part.

"Yes, and I don't know when I'll be back. Think of it as like that protagonist in our story. That helps, right?" Issia looked down, not very happy with the news. "Yeah…"

"Hey. Look at me," Lao said, holding both her hands. "I'll be back. My friend and I, just have to make a portal somewhere. A two-way portal, so I can always come back to my favorite bunyip."

"Can we at least kiss before you go?" She said, tears running down her face.

"Of course~" Issia and Lao both came closer to each other, sharing one last kiss of love before pulling apart. "Come on Lao, the sooner we get the portal working the sooner I can see my husband again!"

"I'm coming!" He called out, turning back Issia. "I promise. This time, no surprises than end up with me in the hospital."

"It was funny to watch you recover on your bed," she giggled. "Hurry up then, I won't read the last book in the chapter until you do!"

"That is a bet!" he said, running after Lao as the two went off on a journey back home. One that doesn't need to be written. Like seriously, what is so interesting about building a portal when all that is needed is already available to them. Hell, they have a dark mage that pretty much has internalized every known spell to human and monster-kind! It's gonna take them a week, tops. Three of those days is Virto teaching himself how to code after realizing he hasn't done Low-Level Languages at all with all the time he had spent hopping around on Vargas'-

. . .

One week later, back at Virto's house…

"Do you have six of spades?" Leana asked in the midst of a card game. [Clone] Lalu shook his head and slammed his cards down, then hit his cards. "Uno."

"Alright, one. Slamming your is an ERS move. Two, saying Uno is an Uno move, and you're going to break Virto's table. Three, this is poker, and you messed up the community cards goddamnit." At that moment, they heard a loud 'AAA' come from the door leading down to the lab. "Do not go, it might be an alien or something," Lao said, sliding in front of Leana to protect her.

"I know Virto weird hobbies, but you don't have to replace his energy," Leana said. The door the noise was coming from suddenly went ZOP! Just disintegrating in front of them. "What the fuck!"

"Man it feels great to be back!" went one voice down there. "Seriously Virto, your lab really gives me Alien Isolation vibes."

"It is not my fault I follow lab safety guidelines, I do serious things down there," went another. Leana is just stuck. Immobilized in fear and bewilderment. One voice should be coming from right beside her, not echoing right beside her. Another, if she recalled correctly, Shouldn't Even Be Alive. And yet, her eyes treat her to a Lalu, still wearing his grieving suit and a Virto that had been brought back by the hand of God. Both were covered in weird purple and green gunk, but they didn't seem to mind. "I still can't believe you started saying the word in the last world and finished in this one."

"What, is twitter gonna cancel me in two universes?" Lalu jested. "It just feels great to be black again, although I will miss the muscle...and the guns."

"I feel you there Lalu. I'm glad to be in my cosy lab coat again, but now that I have lived, my skin feels so pale and deprived of vitamin D. Also I want my nanowatch back. Only more reason to go back…"

"Or just, you know, go outside like a normal human now," Lalu said, looking over at his clone. "Who's that [bleep]. The guy is wearing my clothing."

"Hmm...I did say I prepared a clone for when you went into the world of monster girls. It has been so long now, it must have gained so much knowledge by now."

"Well, it's useless now. Hey, clone, fuck off I'm back." The clone stood up in realization. "No nerd!" He started. "Me and my nerd Leana have nerded up. We nerds don't you need you anymore, nerd!"

"Virto, your clone of me is using nerd a lot. What a clown."

"I never said my work was perfect. I only hope he wasn't using it as a filler word."

"Oh..oh fuck you're right. That would be damaging. Ice him like you did the door and alien." Virto nodded and pulled out a taser. Only when he pulled the trigger, a beam of purple light shot out and vaporized the clone, leaving only a pile of dust. "Well, it is done Lalu. There is only one of you again, you have successfully gotten me out of there, we can now go back whenever we want, and there were definitely no external repercussions to recklessly traveling to another universe. I am going to go wash this gunk off. Give me your clothing."

"Yep." Lao took off everything but his underwear and undershirt, giving the clothes to Virto. "Hey Virto, does the IRB know about that raygun?"

"Only one that knows is the New Jersey state government, and I intend to keep it that way." Virto headed upstairs to wash everything, while Lao went to the kitchen. "Hey Leana," he casually said on his way. The poor gal had been watching in dead silence the entire time, finally starting to hyperventilate and scream before she passed out on the couch. What a story she was going to be in for...