UNSAID KATIE { RUBY'S POV }

"First things first we start the scene in reverse, all of the lines rehearsed. Disappeared from my mind, when things got loud one of us running out. I should've turned around but I had too much pride. No time for goodbyes, didn't get to apologize. Pieces of a clock that lies broken." Unsaid Emily from Julie and the Phantoms is playing from the audio file, as I look at the ceiling.

Why? Why do I have this? "Love the song, Ruby?" I hear Katie from the background. She knows how I love the series of Julie and the Phantoms, and especially The Umbrella Academy. "If I could take us back, if I could just do that and write in every empty space the words "I love you" in replace, then maybe time would not erase me. If you could only know I never let you go, and the words I most regret are the ones I never meant to leave... Unsaid Emily." The song suddenly stops as I hear nothing but silence.

"I could have change the name of Emily and put yours, but I think this is for me. Isn't it right, Ruby?" I don't know what she wants or wants me to do, but all I know that once I got this envelope.. I knew something's not right.

Unsaid Emily starts to play again, but this time it's instrumental. This is actually not for her, but let's see. "Imagine yourself singing the first part as I sing the second verse, Ruby." I imagine it, and suddenly, I look at the edge of my bed, there she is. Katie sitting and strumming the acoustic guitar, she looks delicate. The same girl before everything went down.

She looks at me and smiles, "Silent days, mysteries and mistakes. Who'd be the first to break? I guess we're alike that way." She sings as I blink twice to confirm she's here, but she's gone. "Did you hear me sing? I know, I'm horrible but it doesn't get in my way for singing the second verse, Ruby." The way she sing it, it felt like she was actually the one who wrote and sing it.

The look she gave me, she looked like she was crying and feel like it was her last... "I'm not asking for forgiveness, Ruby. You could've known something's wrong when I did it, I did it for people to stop and help me be better. I guess it didn't go, did it?" Her voice is somehow cracked, like she's crying in pain.

"I told everyone that would be the last, and everyone didn't believe me. So, I went to do one... final... thing for Twitter, you and the girls." I look at my phone as the other girls are chatting on our groupchat.

"The one thing Mila Mullen would only say to me." What did Mila said? What did she do? "She told me to die."

Pardon me, what?

"Did you catch that? I said, Mila told me to— I'm not gonna repeat myself again, because I'm pretty sure you heard it or you didn't but i'm not gonna say it again." What the fuck?! I told them to expose her, not tell her to die! "Everyone doesn't give a fuck, if I'm dead anyways, so what's the point?" I deeply sigh and close my eyes, Mila went a little too far.

I grab my phone that's laying on the bed and went to Twitter, Mila's having a great conversation with Stef, her new "bestfriend" as she said right after she block Katie in her life forever. I hear rumbles on the audio... and a deep sigh followed by a whine. She did not— "One for being the Luke of the group, and another for being that friend to everyone." What did she do?! Don't tell me she did what I think she did! I recieve a dm from Sabina, she said that she went to the cementery and Katie's family was fooled by their own family member.

I didn't know if I would believe this anymore, I mean, what if she really did it? What if she did these and went to do it? "Tell Mila that I'm doing what she and her in real life friend Alazae said, I'm going to do it. This is somehow the last words you guys will hear from me, and you get to hear me sing one last time, Ruby." I didn't know my tears are suddenly falling down, I'm crying. Are we actually the reasons why she's dead?

The Unsaid Emily comes playing again as she sing along, "Silent days, mysteries and mistakes. Who'd be the first to break? I guess we're alike that way." She sings and stop as the song keeps going, "I may not be the Unsaid Emily, but I'm the first to break. The one to cry and have panic and anxiety attacks in just a day, but did you know it never stops?"

We know, 'cause Mila told us everything, especially the text between her and Katie. Mila calling her a bitch, Katie apologising over and over and over... Mila have gone too far, I know. Because Katie's weakness is her, so she's trying to break her into pieces, which, she successed. I wipe the tears away. Mila and Katie have dated not even lasted a month, they even survived without communication for days!

I remember Katie telling us that she wants her Alexa (they used to call themselves Alexa and Katie from Netflix) and she would cry, or tweet about wanting or missing her Alexa. That's how loyal Katie was. They broke up because of Mila saying she doesn't want to date anyone a little older than her, but Katie accepted it.

Then two days later after knowing the truth from us, she suddenly lashed out on Katie. We didn't know that she involve her friends from school and put them on a groupchat, as Katie went to ask for help from someone. "The way you and the girls are so fucking creepy on researching everything on me, when I want to come back to Twitter in peace, but no! BAM! You all go straight to my dms and do shit!" The last name she used before permentally leaving Twitter was: Ayla. A beautiful name for a beautiful girl, no lies.

I suddenly hear a bottle being shaken on the audio, "You hear this shit, Ruby? YOU HEAR THIS?!" She shouted at the last part, I hear it open and close. "After making these audio files... See you at my funeral, Ruby." She said as silence comes. "If you could only know, I never let one of you go. I never intended to do it, but here we are. Read page two to know what I feel every single fucking day. Bye." She said as I grab the notebook from the desk, looking at it and debating to ses what's inside or not.

I open it and the first page is just her handwritting saying: "Unsaid Ruby or Katie? Who the fuck cares." I turn to the second page and I'm shocked. It's somehow a poem she written, she used some different colors for some parts to feel the emotions in the poem itself.

The poem is:

Where is the light,

when I need it?

I know this night,

I regret it.

I'm sure no one has seen me cut,

I must hide it before I get caught,

No longer comfortable in here,

and I'm not expecting you to hear.

The problems in my life,

why can't I stop saying "I'm fine",

When I'm actually not okay?

And I want to do it today.

Yes, I have to live,

but I need to leave,

one depressing night,

I know this isn't right.

I look to the other one and it looks like it's a second part of it, I didn't know she was this depressed. No one did. Because she's all bubbly whenever she comes around.

The lines on my wrists,

this is my all to risk.

Those depressing nights,

were aren't alright.

I'm the girl who always wear a smile on her face,

but doesn't know where I stand or place,

I only have a few,

but do they hate me too?

What should I do?

I don't want to be saved by you,

the light just disappear,

when will it appear?

Once I'm done reading, I didn't know I'm crying. Again. The notebook have some tear drops already, I wipe my tears and close my eyes as I hug the notebook. She's just depressed. She did it to make people be aware that she's not that bubbly like we know.

"I know you don't want me to apologise, Katie. But I'm really sorry. I really am. I grab my phone and play some music as Unsaid Emily is playing. "... I should've turned around but I had too much pride." If I could take her back and everything I say, I would do anything to do it.

"No time for goodbyes, didn't get to apologize. Pieces of a clock that lies broken." I sing along and cry, she was my bestfriend too. I lost her in just a snap of my fingers. I hurt her— we hurt her too much to make her kill herself. Everything went slow when the song stopped and my ringtone plays, I look who'd calling and it was Mila. She's calling me from Snapchat.