Episode 8: Awes and Apologies

I sat on the window sill of my room reading the journal grandpa had given me. It contained the main reason grandpa had chosen to visit Meadow Town – the mysteries of the forest.

I watched outside the window as the dusk turned into night and the valleys lit up slowly looking like the reflection of the clear starry night of the sky above. Yes. I have always belonged here. I took a sip of the hot chocolate and sunk deeper in my stole.

“Ella!” Mom called from downstairs, bringing me back to earth from my secret, magical, non-existent world. I kept the journal down and walked downstairs with a sigh.

“What’s up?” I asked before reaching the foot of the stairs and then froze with shock. Joanne sat on the couch of the drawing room.

“You remember Joanne, don’t you?” Mom asked. Like I could forget. “You, Joanne and Larry were inseparable as kids.”

“We met yesterday at the party,” Joanne said, her voice, controlled.

“You did?” Mom was starting to comprehend what had happened the previous night when I had left the party without them. I still hadn’t corrected their version of the story. She didn’t need to know. She would create a fuss over nothing.

“Hey,” I greeted Joanne, “What’s up?”

“You wanna go for a walk?” she sounded anxious. Another night with them! “We didn’t get to talk properly last night. Let’s catch up, you and me.”

You did get a whole lot of chances last night but you blew it out of your jealousy. A part of me was relieved that she wasn’t asking me to go out with all of them but just her.

Mom raised an eyebrow towards me when I hadn’t replied for long. I could sense her you-shouldn't-be-rude speech on the way.

Just a walk, right? So, I didn't need to change my pajamas. Both Mom and Joanne stared at me expecting otherwise.

"Let's go," I stared back. Finally, they accepted this was the best they were gonna get. Joanne sighed.

After leaving the house, we walked for a few minutes in an awkward silence. We stole glances at each other from the corner of our eyes. She seemed to be having a hard time coming up with something to talk about. On second thoughts, she seemed to be having a hard time getting out whatever she had come to say.

“I am sorry!” she burst out all of a sudden. Shocked, I just looked at her with wide eyes. “I am really sorry.”

“It’s ok,” I tried framing sentences. “I understand you were upset. People in love tend to do stupid stuff. It’s really okay.” It’s okay. You just got a little jealous and forgot to be subtle about it.

“One day in town and you already know our secrets?” Joanne was very quiet. It was a secret? I half expected her to turn mean again.

“You have been in love with him for as long as I can remember. Anyone can see that,” I said recalling my dream the other day. I still doubted it wasn’t just a dream. It was so very real even to the point of Joanne’s innocent first love and Larry's obvious obliviousness.

Her expression changed and I could see the face that had once been my friend again. I could see that she was trying to see past her anger and jealousy. I could see my bestfriend was coming back.

“I am sorry about that too,” she apologized once again, “I couldn’t bear how smitten he is always by you. I was the same, you know?” That came as a surprise. Joanne was smitten by me?

“You were always up for something new, something daring. You were a bag of adrenaline, always leading us and cheering us and scolding us, correcting us. With you, every day was an adventure, a thrill. I thought you were the most amazing person in the world,” she continued as I gaped at her. “And then you left.”

Two realizations hit me. She wasn’t merely acting out of jealousy. She resented me for leaving. But more importantly, “What did you mean by 'that too'? What else are you sorry for?”

We had been walking for a while and without realizing, we had taken the familiar path we had walked so many times. The tree house.

How do I end up coming here everytime?

“I heard what happened last night. I am sorry,” Joanne apologized for what had to be the hundredth time. She was trying hard not to look at me as she walked up the steps of the tree house. Thank Goodness, for that! I wasn’t sure what my face would betray.

“What did you hear?” I asked trying to keep the rage and disgust away from my voice. I knew this was coming. I had planned on never meeting any of them again. That would have saved me the trouble of explaining why I ran off or correcting whatever lies Eric fed them with.

“Alfie went looking for you when he didn’t see you around for so long,” she said with a hint of shame in her voice. “He found Eric knocked out and bleeding on the ground, shivering and mumbling nonsense. When he finally came to his senses, he started apologizing that he might have done something to you in his drunken stupor.”

Drunken stupor, huh? So, one of my most horrifying experiences was no more than just a drunken stupidity for him! I should have placed another punch on his face after Will had.

“And that some guy who had appeared out of nowhere knocked him out. He was so hammered that he passed out again. We understood he was ashamed of confessing that he got knocked out by a girl so, he was making things up.”

All my earlier disgust and rage disappeared and a sense of protectiveness replaced it. I couldn’t let them know about Will. I didn’t want him getting in trouble for saving me. More so when I had no idea of who or what he was.

Joanne misread my expression and tried to comfort me, “Don’t worry. There won’t be any lawsuits. He will never even show up infront of you again. Alfie made sure of that.”

I wondered what 'made sure of that' meant. But I didn’t care as long as Will didn’t come up anywhere.

We laid down on the carpet. Surprisingly, the covers and pillows we used as children were still there.

“So, when are you telling him?” I asked, desperate to change the topic. Thankfully, she didn’t realize my desperation, just blushed at the sudden question.

“When the time's right,” she replied and I hoped she knew what 'right' in this situation meant because if I were to judge, I would say Larry was still too immature to understand even a fraction of Joanne's feelings, much less return them.