Kuroo's Suffering

"K-kenma..."

Kuro's suffering voice and panting is the only thing you could hear in my room. Don't get me wrong, I'm not killing him...yet.

I looked up to meet his helpless gaze while I keep licking his hard dick that's been wanting to get freed from the agony given by the ball stretcher that I put on him. I never knew that there would be a day that I will resort to this type of punishment. I guess there are things that I still didn't know about Tetsurou Kuroo.

His body flinched when I put his hard-on in my mouth trying to take his whole length in. To be honest, I don't like giving fellatio. Specifically, deepthroating. It's not because I'm not used to it, it's because when I do, Kuro tends to get out of control due to the pleasure. And it's a pain in the ass, - literally and figuratively.

"Ngh... N-nooo... S-stop-"

I couldn't help but be proud of myself for making Kuro squirm from pleasure and pain, make him all sweaty but still looks mouth-watering. It's the first time that I saw him teary-eyed and begging me to stop while struggling from being handcuffed on my bed. In normal situation, it's me who's always crying and begging him to stop, well just minus the cuffs.

I stopped giving him heads before he could release even just a little. I'm doing this I guess, for two hours straight without letting him cum even once. I didn't know that I'm capable of doing this to Kuro and for sure, He didn't know that I can send him to heaven and hell at the same time.

"Kenma... I'm sorry." He groaned begging while thrusting his hips seeking the warmth of my touches, wanting to reach the zenith that I'm depriving him.

"Why? Didn't you say that the reason, why you cheated on me is because I've neglected you? I'm giving you all my time. I even postponed all my lives and filed a leave at work so we could be together." I said trying to hide the pain in my expression when I voiced out the reason, why we end up like this. Why I resort in this kind of punishment. Why I'm sending him in heaven and hell.

He looked guilty and sorry but it doesn't make me feel even a little bit better. Even when I'm doing this kind of thing to him, I did not feel better. The raging madness inside me didn't faze even just a little.

I don't deserve to feel this heart ache, specially from him. He was the one who confessed to me, the one who gave name to my feelings back then and even vowed with his life that he will never ever hurt me again. He told me that they're nothing but sex friends before and that it'll never happen again, but then this? I couldn't forget the image of his infidelity. It keeps on flashing in my head like a movie scene and there's no any way to make them leave my mind.

"I'm sorry... Ngh..." He said squirming in pleasure and pain when I take him in my mouth once again after a few moments of letting him rest from the pleasurable torture I'm giving him.

I don't want to hear his apology. Just a simple 'sorry' won't heal the scar that he made. His 'sorry' is just making my heart bleeds, making the cut deeper and wider. It's painful. So painful that I didn't even care how long I've been doing this to him. I didn't care even if my jaw is about to break because of the numbness. My body feels numb even to the pleasure that I used to feel when our body touches. My body feels numb from the pain I feel in my heart.

I am neglecting him? Is it really my fault? Is that enough reason, for him to cheat on me? Am I not enough? I thought he loves me? Neglect? I'm always busy? I have no time for him? Then why not tell me that he feels neglected? Why didn't he complain so I could fix it? Why did he choose to cheat? And out of all the Why's, why Tsukishima?

Just remembering the scene that I witnessed when I went to his apartment unannounced earlier, it's making me feel hard to breathe. It's making me want to vomit but I don't want to give in to the feelings of disgust that's been creeping in me while I'm giving him heads. I won't give him the satisfaction to see me hurting for his infidelity.

I stopped giving him a blowjob and ride on top of him. I've prepared myself already even though I don't really like doing it to myself, and slowly put his raging hard on inside me.

It's painful. But the pain I feel in my heart is much more painful than this. I avoid looking at him because I know that I might end up crying when I see the guilt on his eyes once more. It will make me recognize the fact that I wasn't the only one. So, I close my eyes and just let my lower body feel his length inside me.

"Ngh... Kenmaa... I'm sorry.... Please babe let's... Ahh... Let's taalk..." Kuro groaned in despair and pleasure as I slowly ride him just like how Tsukishima did to him earlier.

I know it's stupid to do the same thing that his 'mistress' did but I want to rewrite everything Tsukishima did. I want to erase the memory of their infidelity to Kuro's mind. And the demon inside me, wanted to totally erase Tsukishima's existence. I want him out of his mind, out of his life because he is mine.

Tetsurou Kuroo is mine.

I get back on my senses when Kuro moved his hips trying to meet my pace but I didn't let him dominate me. I pulled away and sit on his naked body and looked at his frustrated face that looks like screaming with agonies.

"Please... Kenmaa..." He begged once again while thrusting his hips when I playfully touch his hardness that is now leaking with precum for what I have done for the past two hours.

"Please what?" I couldn't help sounding cold.

He closed his eyes brimming with tears maybe because of his mixed emotions, - pain, pleasure and frustration. I expect him to ask me to let him cum but a different set of words escaped his lips.

"Forgive me. I'm sorry." He repeatedly said while trying to hide the tears flowing in his eyes using his arms that's been handcuffed on my bed.

I bit my lips to stop my tears from falling when I saw him cry. He's so cunning. It should have been me, who's crying at this moment. I'm the one who got cheated on. But why it's more painful to see him cry while asking for forgiveness? I guess, just like how Kageyama is Shoyo's wings, as for me, Kuro is my catnip. My only weakness. The only one that can make my heart waver regardless of the sins he made.

I ride him once again but this time, I took off the ball stretcher so he can finally cum. I let him thrust inside me until he released his cum inside and immediately get off of him. I get the key and uncuff him but even before he could even recover, I hurriedly take my clothes to leave the room.

"Kenma... Let's talk." Kuro said in a hoarse voice.

"Not now Kuroo-san." I said in a formal way before closing the door behind me. I let the tears that I've been suppressing right after I locked myself to my work room and didn't even bother to hear out Kuro's call.