Their Beginning

Shy and withdrawn. Back in the day people used to call me that but looking back, Kuro had it worse than me but even he wouldn't believe it if I open that side of him that people didn't get to know.

I love playing video games even before I met him. When his family moved in our place, I was the first friend he made or rather say, got forced to play with me since the adult around us thought that we will get along well just because we're around at the same age. He usually come over to my house and play video games with me in silence. At first, I thought that he's the type of a person who just go with the flow or he doesn't have any hobbies or things he wanted to do since he always come to my house to play. But when I asked him what he wants to play, he introduced me to volleyball.

That's how I find other things than my video games, interesting. I played volleyball until we're in high school. On his last year in High school, we met Karasuno, our rival team. I get close right away to Shoyo because he's interesting and Kuro gets to meet Tsukishima Kei. The man he said that he became sex friends with just because the latter doesn't want to engage in a most serious relationship and Kuro said that Kei resembles me in a way.

I am fully aware that Kuro swing both ways, but never did once felt disgusted about it. To be honest, when he said that he likes both men and women, I felt relieved for some unknown reason. I wasn't aware that time that I like him more than a friend should. Because my interest lies only to video games and volleyball. Shoyo just got added to my list of interests when I met him in High school.

That's why, I wasn't aware that the annoyance I feel whenever he gets calls from his fuck buddies that I never once met is called jealousy or the feeling of wanting to keep him within my grasp is possessiveness. Those feelings are new to me but I didn't try to think what it means until I accidentally saw him with Tsukishima went out in one of the bathroom stalls after our match with Karasuno during the Nationals.

I was perplexed. Not because I saw him with another man but with the raging madness inside me when I saw him for the first time with someone. I am aware aware about his preference. I'm aware that he has sex friends. I am fully aware of all those things. But I wonder why, when I saw him with somebody else, I was disgusted. Even until now, I could still recall how he ran after me that day and how it ends up, us being together.

"Kenma! Just wait!" Kuro grabbed my arms but immediately release me when he saw me flinched.

I feel like vomiting. I don't know why I feel so disgusted when I saw him and Tsukishima went out of the same stall. I'm not stupid and naïve. Seeing their disheveled appearance, I knew right away that there's something going on with the two of them. But I can't give name to this heart-wrenching feeling I have and it's making me more nauseous.

"Kei... No Tsuki... I mean..." Kuro's disarray sentence is also making me confuse.

"Are you two dating?" I asked in a cold tone that even I didn't know why I sounded so cold when it wasn't the first time that I learned about him having sex with another guy.

"No way! I mean... Tsukishima and I are just sex friends. We both agreed that we can't be more than that." He explained that I didn't believe because it's Tsukishima that we're talking about.

He's just like me in a way, and for what I know he particularly doesn't like being with Kuro and Bokuto-san. So how can he be so up front in lying to me.

"When did it all started?" I asked.

He bowed down his head.

"The last night of our training camp." Kuro answered that irked me.

So, they've have been doing that sort of thing every time we meet? As far as I remembered, there are few times that Kuro went to Sendai and Kei went here, although he slept over to Akaashi-san's house.

"Why him?"

"H-huh?"

"Why Tsukishima? Why him? You never sleep with anyone twice. Besides you're not the type to sleep with someone associated with us. You always fuck someone behind my back. So why him? What's so special about him that you keep that sort of relationship with him?" I asked that make me sounds like he betrayed me or something.

Kuro's face straightened as if I asked something ridiculous.

"I'm telling you it's not like that." He looked away and sighed.

"Kuro tell me, does anyone would do for you?" I'm starting to hate myself for asking this to him specially when I saw his pained expression but it's too late to take it back.

He smiled painfully. "Do I really look easy for you? As if anyone would do for me?" He asked without hiding the pain and sadness in his voice and expression.

"I'm not saying that you're easy. I'm sorry. It's just... Never mind. Let's stop this." I sighed and turn around to leave. I feel like crying because of the weird feelings creeping inside me and it's a pain in the ass to assess it. I need sometime alone because seeing Kuro right now, isn't good for my heart. It's prickly just looking at his face.

"Yeah. Let's stop this." He said in a serious tone as if he's talking about something else.

For the second time, he stopped me from leaving and make me face him.

"You ask me what's special about him that I continue this kind of relationship with him. I'll tell you the reason why so make sure you listen." He seriously said that gives a scary feeling to me.

What if he said that he loves Tsukishima?

My heart asked but my mind counter a question that I've never thought about before.

What is it to you if he loves Tsukishima? He can do what he wants. He can love who he wants. Why do you feel betrayed when you're nothing but his friend?

I clenched my fist to that realization. This heart-wrenching feeling is because I don't like seeing him with anyone else. Not with Tsukishima. Not with some random guy or girls. I want him to be mine. No. He is mine. Kuroo Tetsurou is mine alone.

"I'm doing this sort of stuff with him because-"

"Shut up!" I shouted before he could finish his sentence and try to leave once more. I don't want to hear him say that he's in love to that Karasuno's middle blocker.

"It's because of you."

I stopped from leaving when he said that to me.

"He resembles you in a way. Kei is your replacement. I love you, damn it! And Kei knows. He knows about it. About my feelings so he proposed us to be sex friends since he's just like me. He can't be with the person he likes. That's how we end up in this relation-"

My hand that landed on his cheek makes a really loud sound. He was caught off guard when I slapped him but he looked surprise when he saw tears streaming down my face.

He just blurted the word of the cause of these hateful feelings that's been wearying me down.

Of course, I love him. That's why I get jealous. That's why I'm claiming him. There's no other reason why I'm being like this. This one is totally different from Shoyo. I never once think of Shoyo as mine even though we're close friends.

"K-ken...ma."

"Shut up! Don't embrace another person to substitute me! You should have told me! Why you didn't?" I asked angrily that made his jaw drop.

"B-but... Will you not feel disgusted?"

"Why should I? It's you."

"W-what?" Kuro gave me an unbelievable look as if he couldn't grasp what's I'm talking about.

I wipe my tears and grab his shirt so our face would match with each other, him being so tall.

"I'm telling you that if you pull this kind of stunt again, I'll punish you. I'll make you feel heaven and hell. I'll make sure that you will suffer a lot if you dared to make me feel this kind of pain once again." He looked shocked but happiness immediately beams on his eyes.

"I won't! I swear with my life that I will never ever hurt you. Again."

I looked at him seriously. 

"Bare this in mind because I won't repeat it again. You. Are. Only. Mine." I declared before leaving him astounded.

And that was our start and the end of their convenient relationship.

"Who is it? Who fu- Put a mark on you?!" Kuro asked while trying to control his anger that made me comeback to my senses.

I just smirked at him. He didn't learn his lesson before. So, I need to make him remember what I told him four years ago if he cheated on me.