V2Ch148 New Hostile Self

I headed west toward the Beast Lands. Going behind the stage I was just on, I discovered even more death. Backstage outdoor setups for the announcer, dressing stalls and makeup mirrors along with contestants and the guards for the contestants.

The forest itself suffered from the drain too. There was a clear edge to the beginning of my drain. I sped through my latest regret and reached the far edge several hundred feet away.

My footsteps went from crunching dry dead grass and lost leaves, to a muffled rustling of green life. The sound was night and day.

I took one final look back. Leaves were beginning to fall en masse. They were no longer able to hold onto the wards that gave them life.

I had to go. Watching this scene was too painful.

The landscape of the untamed forest was too uneven to just run. I took to the trunks of the trees, bouncing off of them like the captive ball of a pinball machine, picking up speed as I leave each tree trunk.

The final deep orange light of the day was evident when I emerged from the last of the forest's line of trees. I went airborne with a takeoff of increased power, leaving visible damage on the last tree I came into contact with.

The lit-up landscape was rocky desert land. I almost felt relief the further away from the trees that I got. I continued to run for a while longer to feed this unfounded feeling.

I tripped over a shadowed rock, indicating that it was dark enough to warrant stopping for now. I had landed stomach-side down. When I had braced for impact, a sharp rock pierced my left hand.

I curled up on my side and just cried. I tried to control it as best I could.

I've already thought it before. I'm a monster. I've killed so many. Women, mothers, children, good and bad men.

Undoubtedly, I've changed the course of history on Eyse. I've ended so many family lines. Future inventors, scholars, lovers, explorers, teachers…

As my cries of pain got more intense, the ground began to softly shift as if it was disappearing out from under me. I caught myself and grabbed my arms tight.

The slight stinging sensation of the rock in my hand ignited my anger and frustration due to the interruption of my lamenting.

I pushed off the ground in anger and stood. I took a few bounding steps forward as I pulled the rock out of my hand. I wound up and let out an otherworldly roar of fury as the tiny clump of mineral was about to be thrown with as much power as I could possibly muster.

It was too dark to see it go past my hand. I knelt down. The source of my irritation gone, I calmly watched the open wound in my hand quickly heal.

Suddenly, a light brightened up the entire area. Looking up, it was as if I was starring at a sun in the sky. The day had come before its time. It lit up the world as far as I could see.

Moments later, a wave of air hit me. A sound, one I could only describe as what I think a muffled implosion would give off, reverberated in my ears. The source of light stayed for several minutes as it was visibly descending. It died as quickly as a candle being blown out.

I know that was from Frustration but I think it was imbued with Anger as well.

I didn't even bother setting up my tent. I curled up against a rock and prayed that sleep would take me.

Darkness overcame me. My darkness, once again. All of the familiar lights were in the same positions. There was a new light next to Wisdom. Shame, I would wager.

'Shame isn't quite what I would call myself.'

A voice sounded out. It was familiar and it wasn't. The new light lit up on its own. It was a distinct gold color sitting between the colors of yellow and orange. I had a strange feeling that I should look up. I found myself looking in a mirror. My eyes, my hair, my clothes.

I began to reach up with my right index finger. As I came to the point of contact, my finger went through the finger of my mirror image. It wasn't a mirror, it was my latest mental emotion. An exact duplicate of me.

'Embarrassment.'

"what?"

'That's me. Embarrassment. Or Embar for short. Shame is a much different creature. I suppose you could say I'm a bit more tame than Shame. Whimsical if you will.'

"Whimsical? Stealing the lifeforce from people is whimsical?"

I almost wanted to hit him. The fact that I knew I couldn't was one of the few things holding me back from trying.

'You can try to hit me. It might make you feel better.'

As if prompted, his gravity suddenly seemed to shift and his feet landed in front of my own. If he had a physical form, he would be invading my personal space. He really is a mirror image of me.

"Of all the emotions, why are you my mirror? The others seem to make some sense... Well, I don't quite understand Anger's image but..."

'Unchained.'

...

'Oh, right. I didn't explain. A child is young and pure, when a child learns to use anger, they think it's natural and lets its anger fly. You get the picture?'

"Okay, what about you?"

'It's simple if you think about how you lived your life before Eyse.'

Images of my past life on earth erupted in succession. I said no to a lot of things because I thought it would be too much trouble, it was wrong, or I just wanted to play video games.

'Bullshit.'

"Bullshit what? You are me, right? You should know just as well as I what..."

'We went through? Yeah. I know. That's why I exist. That's why we all exist. Anger at your younger self for not doing more with your life since a young age. Fear of doing things that might Embarrass you. Sorrow for the life you had to live when it could have been so much better. Frustration over your superior ability to hide your feelings from outsiders when all you wanted was someone to love you. That Sophie slave that you have attached yourself to? She is a crutch and a hostage at the same time.'

"It wasn't my choice to make her a slave!"

'And yet she is yours. Now that makes sense!'

His obvious sarcasm was pissing me off.

"If it was that easy to remove the slaver's seal, I would."

'Would you?'

"In a heartbeat. Fuck off. I'm tired of your shit."

I awoke from the darkness into the early morning light.

'Maybe you can prove me wrong about your slave, but you know the rest of what I said wasn't bullshit at all. I await the day she is freed from your greed.'

"FU... eh... get out of my head. I don't want to hear your voice anymore."