Best friends quarrel

It's been two days since mum left going to Lusaka and I miss her so much. Today I'm just with Yazz but as wild as she can be, I still feel empty and I don't know what is missing. I haven't missed the way Yazz rushes out of the room when her phone rings and I'm planning to ask her what this is all about.

Yazz ordered pizza for lunch, now we are watching Khloe's revenge body. Im sitting on my grey plush and extra fluffy carpet with ina who's lying on her fleece blanket at the center and at the bottom, it's written "I'm a Castillo princess" including her birthday "13th May,2018" . I don't know why I got it printed like that but there's still hope.

Luca was denied a lot of things but I made sure I took videos of every single moment from the very first meeting with the obgyn, the first kicks, the birth and all her sonograms are kept safely. When I say every moment , I mean each and everything that involves Ina and I'm planning to go back home when my princess turns one.

Lately, I've been seeing Luca on Tv and he seems to be the same arrogant, egoistic man that he was. He's been changing women the same way he changes clothes and this is what I don't want my baby to be around.

"Yazz why are you acting weird lately whenever you receive a call?" She stiffens.

"Because you decided to post pictures on instagram"

"What does that have to do with the calls?" I ask with one of my eyebrows raised.

"Because Luca has been calling me wanting to know your whereabouts" I turn my neck so fast that I think I had a whiplash. After some time I turn back to Ina looking for a distraction.

"Hi my bubu" I coo at her and use my nose to tickle her belly and she smiles trying to laugh. She has her fists clenched almost all the time unless when she wants to suck on them.

"I love you my sweet little angel" I kiss her nose and forehead.

"And you love her daddy" Yazz says . I turn to her with a quizzical look

"How many times do I have to tell you I don't love him?"

"You don't have to tell me, I see the way you behave when his name comes up on Tv or when they are talking about him and other women."

"Yazz I don't"

"No you do, why do you always call Ina your little Castillo when putting her to bed? Why is it that you haven't dated anyone or slept with anyone else apart from him? Or getting his name printed on her things?"

"She's a Castillo, she has every right to be called one or do you want me to call her little Henderson?"

"And do you think printing his name will give her the closure she needs? She needs to have a physical connection with him. You say she needs to know her roots but you are the same person blocking her from knowing her dad."

"Yazz you know way better how he treated me, do you think I need that kind of stress? Do you think I'm happy going to bed knowing my baby doesn't know her dad? Do you think I'm happy with the decisions I made? Yes you are right , im stopping her from knowing her dad because he might hurt her the way he did me damn it."

My temper is rising and my eyes are getting blurry, I know I'm close to crying but im trying not to. I close my eyes and breathe so as to control myself. I don't want to say something that will hurt both of us. I look at Ina and she's looking back at me, I bet she's wondering what's going on, she's so innocent.

"Protecting her? To be honest with you, you ain't doing so. Have you ever sat down and wondered if it would have been different if Luca knew you were pregnant? Put yourself in his shoes and for once consider his feelings. I believe there's a responsible and caring man behind that arrogant and egoistic mask he puts on."

"He called me whore multiple times, he wouldn't have accepted the pregnancy. He would have thought I wanted money from him just because he's rich? So forgive me if you think I'm inconsiderate. I thought about myself and my well being because at the end of the day, I'd be the one broken on the floor crying for his denial not you . If I can provide everything for myself and Ina then I'm fine." I say with finality.

"Im sorry Shay , I just think she needs to know her dad" she says as gets on her knees and hugs me tightly while wiping my tears that were falling freely.

"Im not saying I'll keep her away from him forever, I Just need time."

"Okay let's go out and I'll treat you to some ice cream and you can forgive me." She says expectantly.

"It's fine but yeah ice cream sounds nice. Let me change into my drawstring waist pants hem newspaper print because you know how people can be when you move around in a bum short."

"We are walking because ECL mall Is just a three minutes walk." She yells back

I wear my pants and get Ina's carrier and my purse. I brush my hair a little because I haven't removed the bun I made yesterday. I walk out and find Yazz playing with Ina. They look so cute when they are bonding. Ina's hair keeps growing every single day.

Today's weather is crisp maybe because we are approaching August so it's warm.

I hear my phone ringing and I see Izzy's name on my screen.

"Hi Izzy, how are you?"

"Im good thanks, how are you and the little angel?"

"She's fine, what are you up to?". Ina has him wrapped around her little finger.

"Are you busy? Was wondering if Ben and I can come see you guys not forgetting the little munchkin"

"That's cool"

"Okay see you in thirty."