You're so cold

I look up to the glass doors in front of me, reminding me of hospital doors. I'm actually at the police station. It's busy just like hospital with people bustling about and police officers in uniform and suspects in for questioning.

And one of them today, knows something about Healer.

I tuck my hands inside the pockets of my jumper and stroll in like I've been here a thousand times before. Truth is, I have been. I’ve spent a big part of my childhood here, dreamily gazing at the clean cut uniforms and admiring the policemen like they were idols.

Because once upon a time, I did want to be cop.

My eyes wander around the busy place, with no eyes casting even a glance at me. I make my way to the back of the building and observe from there. I recall the face that my father had shown me of.

Green eyes, blonde curls? Or was it brown curls?

"Brown." I stop leaning on the walls and my eyes snap to the figure that had just walked in.

His hazel eyes warily glances around, and he holds a semi permanent scowl whilst his hands are tucked safely in his pocket like he is guarding something.

I quickly approach him but he has already spotted me from afar with his full attention and caution on me now. "Hi, I'm Arden." I exaggerate my smile a bit, even though I don't know why I do.

I’m getting a bit too used to lying and pretending that it seems to become a habit now.

"What do you want?" He asks. He doesn't sound rude though, as he does seem to be genuinely confused.

His voice is also soft and quiet, and something in his tone is cautious, making him seem somewhat like a frightened wounded animal.

"You're here for Sheriff Shields right?" He nods slowly, and I can sense him backing away a bit from me.

"How do you know?"

I muster up a fake chuckle. "I'm the Sheriff's daughter!" I exclaim lightly. "He just wants me to check up on you first. He'll be with you shortly." He nods slowly, with heavy eyes. "Umm... So what's your name again?" I ask.

"Ethan-"

"Arden?" I widen my eyes, startled at the voice. I turn around to my father, with a few of his colleagues beside him. "What are you doing here?"

"I-I'm just.... Here to visit you."

His brows knit together in slight confusion but he shrugs it off. "You know I'm busy today. You should go home and eat something." I don't say anything, and Dad gestures Ethan to follow him.

He does, without even a glance back at me.

I follow behind quietly, hoping they wouldn’t notice my presence as they slip into an interrogation room. "Let's talk here, so no one can interrupt," I hear Dad says before closing the door.

One of his colleagues who turns around to enter the hearing room, catches me. "Arden, what are you still doing here?"

I grin. It was Mr. Jones, a big man with a big appetite and a warm heart. "Long time no see, Mr. Jones."

"You've sure grown a lot!" He says with a chuckle. "What brings you here?"

"To be honest, I'm really interested in this case..." I say carefully. "Would you mind if I could just hear in on this?"

He presses his lips into a thin line, like he's thinking carefully about this on whether not he should or shouldn't. For a moment I thought my luck has run out but he gives a curt nod and leads me to the room beside the interrogation one.

The one used for inspection behind the one way mirror.

I enter and Mr. Jones closes the door carefully. I see the two just settling down on their seats. It was a dark and empty room with no windows and only a single lamp that seems to shine with a thousand watts, lighting up the clear table and intensifying their faces.

"Ethan Watson, am I right?" Dad starts. He flicks through a few pages of a file that I suspect is the one he’s shown me.

"Y-yes," Ethan replies. Even though his face is blank, his tone says it all.

I narrow my eyes at his fidgeting hands on his lap. It’s strange because usually witnesses don't get this nervous. Only suspects do.

"Why aren't your parents with you?" Dad asks.

"They-they're busy people." Dad nods understandingly.

"I just want you to understand that you aren't a suspect in our eyes. That's why we didn't arrest you. I just want to have a talk about why you were there."

Ethan nods. "I get it."

Dad nods too and gives a reassuring smile. "Okay, so why were you there? On the evening of September 27th, we found belongings that you own right after that night those men got hurt. It even has your name clearly written on it. Even your school: Sevit High."

I hold in my gasp, to hear what he says has to say.

"I ran there," He says, his voice low. "I heard someone."

"Was it the men who were attacked by the group that call themselves, Healer gang?" Dad leans forward on his seat, and I take a step closer to the mirror.

"It was a girl." Dad raises an eyebrow and my heartbeat picks up.

Heat rushes through my head, and for a moment all I can hear is the blood surging and pumping, yet his answer pierces me.

"It was your daughter. She was with the healer gang."

I can feel Mr Jones taking a step forward behind me but I slip out of the room quickly before he can stop me.

I run out of the station and hurriedly make my way to the subway. My heart doesn’t seem to stop accelerating even when I’m already seated, and it doesn’t stop racing even when I get home.

“Hey, Arden how was school?” Gran asks as I pass the living room where she’s sitting.

“Fine,” I reply rashly while I bolt into my room. I lock the door behind me and collapse to the ground in shock.

Anxiety bubbles in my chest as I begin to chew on my nails nervously. It becomes so intense that I have to take out a pack of bubble wrap I found to distract myself.

Not long, I hear the front door open and loud footsteps thumping up the stairs to my room. “Open the door, Arden!” My father’s voice booms.

I freeze.

"I swear Arden, if I don't get a confession out of you, I'm taking you to the police station and have someone else do it themselves! Come downstairs in exactly 2 minutes!”

I can hear my Gran frantically questioning Dad about what’s happened and her pleas snap me out of my nerves and I slowly open the door to go downstairs.

I sit solemnly on the couch as my Dad paces around the living room whilst the aroma of mushroom sauce fill my nose.

Meanwhile Dad is interrogating me, Grams is cooking for us.

"Dad, please hear me out..." I say slowly and cautiously.

"Arden if you don't give me something real, you're not eating!" Dad threatens. I roll my eyes, as he brings his hands to his forehead in frustration.

"Don't talk to my granddaughter like that!" My grandmother appears with a plate of carbonara pasta and I basically dive for it. "Don't be too harsh on her."

"You don't understand, ma!" Dad exclaims. "She needs to understand that these Healer boys are dangerous! If she's involved in any way-"

"Dad I'm not involved okay? I don't go around with a mask and save people-"

"Save people?" Dad's voice rises, and he crosses his arms. "They don't save people Arden. They only cause trouble and mayhem." I sigh, and slump down on my seat.

I spoke way too carelessly and he might get the wrong idea, or rather, the right one.

"Dad, what Ethan saw was just me screaming because I thought I saw something,” I lie. “I didn’t see any men or Healers or whatever…”

“That cannot be true,” Dad hisses. “Ethan claims he saw you at exactly 7pm walking in the neighbourhood with them.”

“Why do you blindly believe him!” Rage fills me as I can’t help but shoot out of my seat to prepare a defensive argument. “And those men: Just because they wear suits and have fancy jobs, does not make them good people.”

“No, but it doesn’t make them bad either if they’ve done nothing wrong!” He counters, with hard eyes. “They are the victims Arden. Why do you keep insisting that they’re not?”

I pause, unsure of what I should or should not reveal. Not only would I have to talk about Healer if I reveal that I was the victim, but I would also have to put him through torment at the thought of how he could have lost another child.

“Fine...Those men…” I start. “I saw them get attacked. I was on my way back from home and I screamed,” I lie. "I was never with healers or anything like that. They heard me maybe but I was hiding in an alleyway. Luckily they didn't see me."

Shock washes over my father’s features, his face now blank but his eyes wide. He can’t seem to say anything and so I continue. “And this Ethan kid, he's lying. I've never ever seen him at Sevit. He could have forged his card. ” I make sure my words are all emphasised and hopefully makes more sense than it does in my head.

“Wh-Why would he do that and why didn’t you tell me this sooner, Arden?” He asks, almost like he’s out of breath. He staggers back slightly and he holds the edge of a chair for support.

I look down guiltily. “I didn’t want to worry you,” I whisper.

He shakes his head disapprovingly, and brings a hand to his head like he has a head ache. “Did you see what they looked like?”

I shake my head. "Ethan is sketchy, I don't know why he would lie but... " The cogs in my brain go overdrive and I grit my teeth.

Those men. Those high class men. They might have hired someone like him to get back at me? Maybe they did a background check and found out my dad was involved in this case...

"Look Arden, don't tell this to anyone. Do you hear me?" He leans forward with knitted brows and grave expression.

I nod compliantly.

“Arden,” He comes closer to me. “I want you to look in my eyes and tell me the truth okay?” I can only nod, my heart thumping so loud that I almost think that he can hear it.

“Are you in contact with Healer?”

I suck in a sharp breath to compose myself, making sure I don’t mess up. “I already said I'm not!.” To top it all off, I fake an exaggerated scoff. “Who do you think I am Dad?”

He sighs in relief and wraps his arms around me into a tight hug abruptly. “Arden, I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you too…” I swallow down my guilt and pat him on the back softly.

“I’m sorry,” I choke out.

He moves his hands to grip my arms tightly like a vice and stares me down sternly. “Promise me you won’t stay out late again.”

"I-I... Okay." I feel a bit sad that I would be in less contact with Jace now.

Before I can think of an excuse, I'm stopped by the doorbell. We all freeze, and Grandma, pops her head out from the kitchen walkway.

“Are we expecting anyone?” She asks.

It rings a few more times, before I snap out from my reverie and approach the front door.

"Be careful, Arden..." I hear Dad's voice behind me.

My face morphs into confusion.

Why?

The door clicks open, and I'm met with a pair of eyes, similar to mines. A woman, standing and holding herself up proudly, like she had just gotten married. A woman who I'm sure shouldn't be ringing a doorbell to my home.

"Mom."

"Haru..." She calls me. I look at her eyes, her tired eyes thickened with eyeliner and her lashes coated with mascara. There's also her glossy cherry lips, and that pencil skirt that tells me she's achieved her goals in being a typical American wife.

But what throws me off even more, is the suitcase next to the hem of her skirt.

"What-what are you-" I feel that part of my heart constricting, crushing itself painfully in my chest that I have to move my hand to clutch it, stopping it from completely ruining me.

With the other hand, I push the door close, and then hastily place my back against it, using my body as a barricade for the door even though it is already locked. I feel her weak fists slamming on the door on my back. "Haru, open this door please!"

My breaths are short, and my pleading eyes look up to my father who is witnessing all this in front of me with an expression full of melancholy and regret.

"Open the door, Arden... I-" He avoids my eyes. "I called for her."

I can’t help the feeling of betrayal that creeps into me.

"And why exactly would you do that?" I ask, my voice hard. "Don't tell me she's staying here."

"Arden please!" Her screeching voice causes me to shut my eyes, thinking if I keep them closed for long enough, she will be gone and maybe will Aiden be back.

"Open it, Arden..." Dad encourages softly.

My eyes are like hard marbles now and I slowly raise them to look at my father right in the eye. His eyes falter, as he sees my deadly expression. "You understand what this would mean right?"

He had basically thrown a bomb into our lives.

Our hearts full of wounds and scars: Today, we're opening them up all again.

I let the door click open again, and back away to where my Dad is standing as she hauls her heavy luggage in. Her eyes would fleet up with her long lashes fluttering beneath her perfectly arched eyebrows.

She's expecting us to help?

My Dad and I stay standing, with his arms crossed and mine tucked securely in my pocket. I hesitantly look up to see his expression. It's boiling. It's like the calm before a storm. His tense body and cold eyes say it all. But there's something warm in them too, deep down. Something warm and sad.

"What is going on here!" Grandma appears behind us, and I widen my eyes. I hurriedly go to her before she can react.

"So you’re finally here, huh?" She glares at my mom, who has a look of indifference in her sharp features.

I am surprised by her cold but calm demenanor. “Wait, did you know about this too?” A dagger enters my heart as she too nods with a regretful expression that sends a pang of sadness to my chest.

"You’re still as healthy and lively as ever," My mother observes through her teeth, but there is no sincerity in her voice.

I slowly make eye contact with her, and it pierces me to see how cold and unfriendly they are.

They used to be warm. Full of love.

“Well should I be sick and dead instead then?” Gran shoots back. She mumbles bitterly under her breath before trudging back into the kitchen.

"What the hell are you doing here?" With this, her attention is back on me as Dad goes to check up on his mother.

For the first time in years, I'm alone with my mom.

"Don't be too alarmed. I'm only here for a few days. It actually depends on you," She explains cryptically.

"Me?" I ask. “Are you sure you just didn’t get lost or something?”

"What?" She shoots me a patronising look and I smirk.

I shrug. “You won’t find a penny here.” I cross my arms again, and cock my head to the side slightly. "We’re actually really poor if you didn’t notice.”

"Haru, you can't talk to me like that, okay?" Her heels make a small screeching noise like nails on a chalkboard as she takes a step forward. "After all this, I'm still your mother-"

"No you're not!" I shout. My voice echoes throughout the whole house, and even the hisses and noises from Grams and Dad are silenced. I feel my body shaking, and my head dizzy with nausea. "Not even animals abandon their young, you know that?"

What I said, causes her to widen her eyes drastically, and she is seething. "What-what did you just say?" She hisses. "I gave birth to you-"

"I want to say I hate you." Her mouth closes a fraction and I muster up a laugh, but it causes tears to form in my eyes instead. "But if I said that, it would mean that I hate the whole of you. But I don't. Because that would be like forgetting Joonie." Bringing Aiden up, makes my heart pound, it hurts me, and it feels like I'm choking.

And I want her to feel that too.

"What-what do you mean?" She stutters, her eyes now pooling with tears too.

If I hate her, I'd have to hate the mother that kissed my wounds until I stopped crying, who played with Aiden and I when we were young, who made Dad smile... "

I don’t let my tears fall but I become overwhelmed with unfathomable rage as she sniffles, her nose becoming red and her eyes slightly swollen now.

"Why are you crying?" I ask shakily. "You don't have the right to do so." I shake my head and wipe my pathetic tears with the sleeves of my jumper. "I’m not here for this shit," I hiss.

"Haru..." She whispers. I brush past her straight out the door, where tiny droplets of rain are spattering my face. I don't know where I'm going but nobody seems to be stopping me.

I walk and walk until I can hear a distant calling of my name as I near the bus stop but it's starting to rain hard now so the voices get lost in the sounds of water splashing the roads and soaking my hair.

I look down at the oversized jumper I'm wearing, so loose that it's easy for the cold to seep in. I swallow hard, as it begins pouring. The rain is even louder than my heartbeat and it's even harder to see now.

I hop on the first bus that comes without even checking it's destination. However I decide to make my own destination as I realise this bus leads to them. To Healer. I should at least tell them about what happened with that kid Ethan.

My mind drifts back to my mom. To the woman who gave birth to me and left when my brother died.

The pain I saw in her eyes. How can it be real?

"Darling, are you okay?" I snap out of my daze, to see an old woman looking worriedly at me. I raise my arms to inspect my soaked sleeves and my hands full of droplets of water along with my face and hair.

"I-I-I'm o-okay..." My teeth clatters as I say this, defying my claims.

Luckily, there's a bus stop right in front of the apartment complex of Healer's and I quickly hop off with shaky breaths and trembling shoulders.

I go up the stairs, but slip on the way up due to the excessive rain.

I sigh, and for a moment I stay sitting on the steps from where I fell and look up at the grey skies looming over me.

How convenient.

I’m left wondering why it wouldn’t rain at Aiden's funeral.

It was hot that day too, so hot. Thinking about it makes me forget for a second that I'm soaking wet. I didn't understand back then. Why the skies were blue and the sun was shining when my brother is dead. I didn't understand why the sky wasn't crying with me and why the earth was still spinning when my world was crumbling down.

"I don't need this dramatic rain to fall on me right now!" I cry. But I can barely hear myself over the thundering rain.

I slowly climb the stairs again until I'm in front of their door. I wipe my face with the back of my sleeve and mix my tears with the rain before knocking.

The door opens, and I'm met with the person I actually really am glad to see. "Arden?" Kai raises his eyebrows and widens his eyes at the sight of me. He's wearing a thick hoodie and grey trackies that look awfully comfy.

He even has thick rimmed glasses on that makes him look quite cute and geeky.

But I'm shaking too much now to say my greetings. "I-I'm-"

"Come in, first." He pulls me out of the rain and into the apartment. I'm greeted with a glowing warmth that heats my body up but I still keep shivering. He leads me to the living room where I'm too cold to even observe their place. Looking up, I spot Elijah on the couch, playing something on his phone.

He hasn't noticed me yet, and I'm too cold to say anything. "Here." Kai hands me a large towel and Elijah finally looks up. He holds the exact same reaction as Kai's when he saw me and leaps out of his seat.

"Is the rain just aiming for you or something? What are you doing here!" If I wasn't dying right now, I guess I'd be laughing at his reaction.

"Elijah, grab a blanket for her!" Kai says from the kitchen.

He does so and hands it to me, with a cautious glance.

"T-T-thanks..." I whisper.

"Sit down." Elijah nods, gesturing me to take a seat but I shake my head.

"I-I'll w-w-wet th-the s-s-seat...." He rolls his eyes, and shrugs, as he basically pushes me down. My butt basically sinks into the soft couch. Despite the shabby exterior of the apartment, inside, it actually looks very nice.

Kai appears after, with a steaming cup of something in his hands. I gratefully take it and hastily sip the warm liquid, burning my own tongue in the process. Kai takes a seat on the other chair opposite Elijah and their eyes scan me.

I drink a few more sips of tea until I feel like it's okay to talk now. "I'm sorry for just coming like this."

"You've been crying." My eyes snap up to Kai who has a serious expression.

"I-"

"It's for show." My head moves to the source of the voice, and I'm met with Grayson leaning on the door sill of another room in front of us. He's basically wearing the same thing as Kai and Elijah: a nameless brand jumper and dark trackies.

"Get her out of here." He orders, his voice hard.

"Dude, we can't just leave her like this. She looks like a wet cat dragged in by a storm!" Elijah exclaims, a bit too descriptively.

“I do not!” I protest before I begin coughing uncontrollably, unable to hold back the irritating itch in my throat that tells me I'm in for a rough week.

"This isn't charity, Eli," Grayson replies coldly. "She has the secret over us and now she thinks she can waltz in whenever she wants"

"Look, I'm here to tell you guys something," I croak out. "My dad, he has a witness." My eyes glance around the dark apartment, searching for a certain someone. "Where's Jace?"

"He's not around right now," Kai clears his throat. "But you can tell us."

I can't help but have my heart sink a little. Where is he going at this time of night? I can't help but let my mind wander before the other's anticipating eyes breaks me from my reverie.

"His name is Ethan Watson. He claims he goes to our school and he claims he saw.... Me that night." Suddenly, I muffle a sneeze on the blanket, and Elijah chuckles.

"That was so damn cute."

Yeah if dying looks cute.

"Shut up, Eli." Grayson gestures to me with a flick of his chin, engrossed in the new information I have provided. "What else?"

I shake my head. "I’m sorry, I had to tell him that it was really me. I told them that I saw you guys and screamed. But I didn't say that I saw who you were of course."

Elijah snorts. “I guess those men is trying to get back at us,” He mutters bitterly like he had just tasted something sour.

"I've never heard of him before," Kai mumbles. “The Ethan guy.”

Grayson nods. "Is that really the reason why you came all the way here? Just to tell us that?" His tone is anything but friendly and implies an ulterior motive he thinks I have, but I just shrug it off.

"It was kind of an impulse decision." I slowly stand up, but suddenly losing balance and Elijah and Kai reaches out to support me. I even spot Grayson switching his stance like he was going to help too.

"Hey, hey.... Where are you going?" Kai asks, tightening his grip on my shoulders.

"I'm going to my friend's house. I'm staying over." I don't really know if Blair had forgiven be by now, judging from how she's ignored my messages. But surely she'd let me stay over if she saw my crazy state.

A pounding ache begins to throb my head and I close my eyes and release a tired moan.

"You're not going home?" Elijah asks.

"It's not a place I want to be right now." I sigh. Kai nods, and seems to understand. I attempt to walk, but my legs keep giving out, and my vision becomes slightly blurry.

"Stop." Kai turns to Grayson. "We can't leave her like this."

"I'm like... Good..." By this time, I can't believe I'm still standing, and my eyelids are so heavy now.

"Shut up, you look like a dying cat, Arden," I hear Elijah exclaim.

What's with the cat thing?

I muster up a grin, as my eyes close. I feel Kai's and Elijah's grip being pushed away, but strong hands lifts me up before I fall.

"We can't dress her, so we just have to bring the heater here." Grayson's voice seems to echo near my ear as I slowly drift to an unsettling place between slumber and being awake.

I feel him settling me down on the couch, and multiple layers of blankets are draped over me not too soon afterwards.

"She's got a fever..." Grayson mutters, his deep but somehow soft voice is refreshing and nice, compared to the harsh tones he would always use towards me.

"I'm fine..." I mutter. Even though he's right in front of me, I can't see him properly. Everything seems hazy, glossy: dream-like.

"You idiot. Why would you go all the way here in the rain just for us?" Just like that, his harsh tone is back, and I feel my lips forming into a small smile at the familiarity.

It wasn't just for you...

I black out for awhile, until, a voice begins to echo near my ear again. "Arden.... Arden..."

I open my eyes slightly to see the blurry face of Jace. I grin, despite the stream of cold sweat running down the sides of my face from my forehead. "Healer...." I whisper.

He holds a finger up to his seemingly soft lips, motioning me to not talk. "Go to sleep, Arden..."

Just like that, his smooth voice drifts me off to an unsettling sleep, where I keep hearing things and tossing and turning on the couch.

It's dark, completely dark, but I suddenly make out a face in the shadows. Joon appears before me, his face close and peering down at me with a small smile as I begin to open my eyes.

It doesn't seem real: It's a dream after all. Everything seems way too polished and glossy. But I'm thankful nonetheless. Actually I'm very happy. For the first time, I'm seeing Aiden again. This is the first dream I've had that he's in.

Dreams, I’m thankful for them pulling me away from the nightmare I'm living.

"Joon... I miss you."

____

Opinions now on our new character: Arden's mother...

Is there more to this than what meets the eyes?

Is she really just a bitch that Arden had made her out to be?

Do you think her tears are genuine...? Does she deserve to be in Arden's life again?

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