My dearest.

You are the dearest.

The nearest to my heart.

A fantasy I had, I now tell people that it is dead

But seriously was it all just an evil scheme?

Manipulate me

Before you leave,

I still believe.

"Oh! How bittersweet."

It only seems because I taste salt when I speak.

Why make a failure out of a dream?

Familiar to me but I will tell you I have never been this weak.

I treated myself like I was beneath,

Beneath every human being,

Beneath every living thing, that you created to be seen.

All I ever wanted was him

But he stopped listening.

The clock started ticking, suddenly everything I was losing.

Betrayed by my fantasy, everything turned against me; became my enemy and it became hard to breathe.

His words are imprinted in my brain, my face.

Everything wrong stayed, the good times faded away.

Why God? I know I am not worthy enough to have it all, but to your people I bowed, never thought I could ever be in the same realm.

I admired how merciful you were now I just feel like a clown.

With malice in my heart, I will always question your work of art.

You created all the stars but there is no way to remove the poison in my heart.

All the people you formed, some are gone to be allies with the wrong

But I couldn't get what I want?

Everything is tinted with a shade of blue.

I use to wake up wanting to move, to not lose.

I did everything that a human could, I let my heart hurt until it bruised.

Forever with him, I could have tolerated anything.

I felt everything my heart rate dropping, my life going downhill.

I had less to keep but I still had something to believe in.

Then why God? Why couldn't I have just this one thing?

Why did I lose him?