CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Beth;The Willow Tree

Theme Song : Like I do by Fireboy DML

I had a nightmare again. This time it was a silver haired woman kissing a brown eyed man. It was the worst nightmare ever and because of it,I was groggy today.

A knock,or should I say pounding,on the door woke me up completely. I muttered a 'come in' but remained in bed,eyes closed. The comfort of the duvet left my skin soon.

"Oh come on,Nana. Just five more minutes."

"You've got two minutes to wash up,young woman."

"Yes... Chase!?" I scampered out of the bed immediately feeling so exposed in my thin night gown. "What are you doing here!!?" I screamed at him as I made for the duvet.

"Ruth said you should wash up for breakfast." His eyes were amused at my attempt at taking the duvet.

"Well,give me back the duvet. I gotta cover up." I tried one more time. Keyword,tried

"You're so short." He laughed.

"This isn't fair." I cried.

"Who said life ever was?" He countered.

"This isn't professional! I'm in my night dress!"

"Good thing we aren't just colleagues." He threw back.

"Ugh. Okay get out of my room." He was making me feel worse. "Now!" I left him to use the washroom.

What was wrong with him!?

He just kept dominating my thoughts and he didn't feel same. He probably just sees me as his friend,or maybe less. Maybe a worker.

He had a very beautiful woman. I look pretty,I'll give myself that but that doesn't mean I was admirable. He didn't want me so neither should I. It was hard enough for me already but he was making it exacerbate.

This felt so wrong. So did meeting him in the room still and on my bed. It only increased my grogginess.

Ignoring him,I went to my closet. I picked out some random dress. I didn't feel like dressing up today. Since he was still in the room watching intently,I took my clothes to the washroom.

He wasn't in the room when I came back. I quickly took a pillow and buried my head into it with a scream. This helped a lot.

With a deep breathe released,I made my way to the living room.

***

We were playing chess after lunch. Nana and I against Billy and Chase. Trust me,it was undiluted torture. I sucked at the game and obviously from the numerous glares Nana gave him,Chase was a great player. Billy kept cheering him since he was making most of the moves. Obviously,he didn't want Nana to get mad at him for winning so just let Chase play in his stead. I sat there watching them,or rather him.

"Great move,Chase." Billy said as Chase moved an horse like player. I didn't even know the moves. I was a bad learner. Billy gave up totally on me the last time I visited.

"Help me out here,Doll" Nana reprimanded. But hey,she could play and I couldn't.

"Cupcake is a really bad player. You do know that,honey".

"Don't say that when I haven't learned yet,Billy."

"Says the one who couldn't learn a thing in three months." I stuck my tongue at him.

"I could teach you." Nana suggested with a smile. Too bad I wasn't a great learner.

"I should leave this place. Chess is so not for me." I stood from the couch with a sign when Chase didn't even spare me a glance. Was he angry or too absorbed in the game? Well,I don't care. Or that was just a so not subtle way of comforting myself.

I stepped outside the house to the driveway. Nana still lived in our old house so I knew the environment very well.

I really needed the breeze because a deep breathe escaped me when I walked into a familiar pathway. The pathway of doom.

Dad and I had followed this pathway years ago. We had followed it to his death. Tracing our every moves wasn't hard at all.

I ran towards Beth. It was a willow tree we named after mum because of the serenity we enjoyed there. That was where we liked sitting to share the little secrets. Dad was my best friend. I told him everything. And so did he. From boy stuffs to his childhood memories. We always sat there speaking to the tree. We showed her pictures and spent time there.

Mum's grave had a willow tree planted to the side so whenever we spoke to Beth,we felt it conveyed our thoughts to the other tree who in turn tells mum whispers of our stories.

The same serene feeling Beth granted me when I was with dad wasn't lost. But when I sat down,I couldn't enjoy the peace. Silent tears of agony rolled down my cheeks.

For the first time in a long time,I was crying over a different man.

"I bet a hundred bucks for a race to Beth"

"A hundred bucks. And if you lose?"

"I'll pay you." Arms akimbo,I giggled at dad's face.

"And don't tell me you've gotten a rich boyfriend". I smirked. "What the!?"

"Haha." I laughed some more before running down the path. "Winning already!" I screamed when I didn't hear any sound of racing footsteps. Minutes later,dad was flying past me like an Usian Bolt.

"Who's a loser?" He sing sang when I got to his side. I poked his stomach and he replied with a bop on my nose.

"I'm thirteen,dad! You don't bop a teen."

"Sheesh. Sit here." He patted the space beside him as he rested on the bark of Beth. I sat. "Do you hear it?" I listened to the sound of nothing.

"Hear what,dad?"

"Sheesh. It's the sound of nature doing its work" He shushed again and closed his eyes with a content smile playing on his lips.

I listened some more but could only hear the gentle sound of the wind writing our moment in the heavens. The leaves were rustling and every now and then,little and almost silent chirps would be heard from birds at the top branch. I closed my eyes now getting the same peace I knew dad felt.

The sounds of nature engulfed us and I relished in it. I would cherish this day forever.

The serenity didn't last for long though. A dropping sound was heard with a blop.

"Fuck!"

"10 bucks for swearing." I reproved with my eyes still closed.

"Whats this?" I opened my eyes to a huge darkish grey dropping on my dad's head. It was dripping down his cheeks.

"Bird poop!" I screamed with a huge laugh. I rolled in laughter literally at dad's frozen expression.

"Lets go clean this off."

"Sheesh. Listen. Don't you hear it?" I feign a serious face.

"Hear what?"

"The sound of nature doing its work on your face." I rolled with laughter again.

"Very funny." He stood and pulled his tee off his skin. He made his way down the path. "Come on,there's a sound of water down here. I can't walk down home again and besides,we haven't spent our three hours. I'll wash there."

I grumbled an okay before standing with a frown.

It was that day we saw the lake. The lake that killed dad. The tears still fought its way out but I held them in place whilst drying the escaped ones.

Few hours later,the sound of swift movement woke me up. It was sunset which means I had a really good sleep.

"I knew you'll be here." Her voice woke me up from my slumber completely.

"Nana." She sat beside me. "Sorry for making you find me." She nodded and made peace with silence. We sat there for over thirty minutes appreciating the calm before she finally spoke out.

"Its over ten years now."

"It's been long but it feels like yesterday." She gave me a sad smile. "Sometimes,I curse myself for not pulling him home that day. We never would've found that lake." I muttered but I knew she heard every single word.

"It was willed to happen,Doll. You should stop ruminating and beating yourself. It wasn't your fault."

"I wish I died in his stead."

"Sheesh." Nana placed a finger on my lips and I felt my eyes glaze with tears. "Don't make me spank you. I'm still your Nana,you know?"

"I'm sorry,Nana." I sighed.

"What's truly wrong,Gina?"

"I'm fine,Nana."

"You sure have a great way of showing it. C'mon,speak out. That's why I'm here. To listen to your every tale,to wipe each tear,to jump at each laughter,to shove every broccoli down your throat and make sure you're healthy." We shared a laugh but mine sounded bitter.

"I wish I could get what you and Billy share."

"Do you like your boss?" I turned red.

"I don't like him,Nan."

"Whats it then? You've been acting tense around him. Are you guys cool with each other?"

"We are Nana. Its just,nan,I just...Its all confusing. One minute,we're having fun completing my wishes and all,the next,he's leaving without a word. We kissed Nana. And then,we almost did it again at the office but this girl just barged in and boom,my little heaven was terminated. He has a girlfriend but was leading me on." Nana had a smile on her face.

"Is that a self concluded suggestion or he told you that?"

"He...basically,she said that. Its all fucked up Nan. I really like him. Or is it the desire speaking? I need some kind of advice."

"Yesterday Billy asked a question before you literally ran to your room."

"He told you about her right?"

"He did." She shrugged.

"She's really pretty and looks intelligent. She has this ocean blue eyes and silver looking hair. She's taller than me. Her long legs make her pass for a model. And that voice! It sounded so feminine."

"Doesn't match the description he gave." I rose a brow. "She is a short brunette with greyish green eyes. She loves making wishes and is scared of her Nana's cat."

"Me?" I whispered.

"He only said that. Who knows who it could be?" She gave me a knowing smile. "I gotta go check on the boys. Take your time."

But I didn't. I literally ran to the house after she left. I may have gotten there before her or not. I didn't care. I just headed for one room. The guest room. He said he had someone close to his heart.

He may have had me close to his heart.

I didn't knock on the guest room door. I pushed it open to a naked Chase sprawled on the ground. I turned red at the sight of his butt cheeks.

Grateful it wasn't his little man in sight,I made my way to get a blanket. I settled it on him and leaned down to place a kiss on his forehead. I decided against it and pushed a strand of hair from his face. I made to pull back another but a hand grasped mine tightly and with a twist,I was beneath Chase. The blanket fell off him.

His eyes on mine. His hand on mine. I could feel him getting hard on my stomach. And did I say little man earlier because what I felt was bigger than little.

Oh boy.