Chapter 4

The Hidden Cades

The next few days were awful. Elizea is not allowed to play and come out of their house. Here I am, sitting on the space of my room's window. I can see Elizea's house from here. I'm watching Cades' parents and Elizea's parents on their terrace, chitchatting. Slowly, I am getting bored by watching them from afar.

I breathe heavily. I eyed my barbie, bored by playing alone here in our house. My parents are out, working so hard again. I am just with my grandmother and of course, Aunt Liza who is taking care of my grandmother. These are the most awful days in my life! I will die in boredom!

“Margel?” I looked backwards. Aunt Liza is standing in front of my door.

“Yes, Aunt?” I ask.

She smiled. “I made a french fries, do you want some?” I pout and think of it. I am not even in the mood to eat french fries. I just want to play with Elizea, but she is under her punishment because of what happened. I came up thinking maybe it's Cades fault. If he didn't leave, we will not go far from our house to find him and Elizea is definitely playing with me now.

But no! I should not blame anyone! Cades is just sad, I know he is. Even if he doesn't tell it to me, I really saw it in his hazelnut eyes.

“Maybe, later.” I said in a bored tone before I faced the window again.

I heard Aunt Liza, breathing heavily. “I know you are sad and bored. But you know your Aunt Lizea, Margel. She's really strict.” she explained.

I smiled and nodded at her. I understand that.

“I know, Aunt.” she smiled at me again.

“I'm going down, come downstairs when you are hungry. “ She said, and gave me a smile before she closed the door of my room. I faced the window again and put my hand under my chin.

After that day, I did not have a good sleep. What Cades said in that secret place is still playing inside my head. No one of us spoke about that secret place he discovered. I chose not to tell it to anyone. But I don't know if he didn't either. Knowing him, maybe, he didn't. Just like he said, he loves secrets. When you have a secret, you don't reveal it, unless someone will. I can't totally understand Cades' point when he says he loves secrets. It's like a riddle that I can't understand.

But maybe, what he told me is related to what he really feels. Cades is not smiling or even talking a lot with his parents and in front of anyone, except for me. He smiles a lot at me and talks. But when he is in front of someone, especially his parents, he is always cold. It's kind of weird at first, but slowly, I understand it. Cades wants to tell something, Cades needs someone to carry on, but who?

He's hiding in his shell.

“Cades?” I said, when I saw him went out of Aunt Lizea's house. “He's sneaking out.” I said, talking to myself. He's wearing a black hoodie that covers his hair.

Where is he going? His parents did not even notice him. He knows a lot of tricks.

My heart stopped, when he stopped in our gate and met my eyes, looking at him. He gave me a smile before he checked his parents on the terrace of Aunt Lizea's house. I opened the window when his eyes came back at me again.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

“Sneaking out?” He said and winked at me. I closed my eyes in distress.

“I know! What I mean is what a--”

“Margel?” My eyes widened when I heard Aunt Liza's voice coming up here. I panicked nervously. My heart is like a drum again!

“AUNT!” I yelled.

Okay, wrong move. I should not have yelled! I'm being too obvious!

She looked at me confusingly. “Why are you yelling?” she asks.

I gulped.

“NOTHING!” I pinched myself when I yelled again. Oh God, why can't I lie? “I mean, uhm, nothing!” I smiled awkwardly and tried acting normal beyond the nervous I felt.

She slowly nodded but still had a confused face. “Okay, are you talking to someone?” she suspiciously asks.

“What? Of course not!” I laughed awkwardly but I stopped when she didn't. Was it a wrong move again? Gosh, Margel.

“Okay. I just bought french fries so you will not go downstairs. “ I didn't even see those french fries. She put it on the table in my room before she eyed me again. “Eat this, I'll go now.” she smiled at me before she finally left my room.

I breathed deeply when she left. I quickly looked outside for Cades. Thank God, he's still there.

“What do you want?” I ask.

“Come with me. “ He smiled. When my eyes saw his wide smile at me, I didn't know why I felt calm and soft. My heart is beating like a weirdo. Why does it always beat like a drum when Cades is around?

Why?

“I can't go back there, they will be mad. “ I declined his offer. When his smile vanished, my conscience hit me so hard. I feel so bad now. I bit my lips while thinking.

“Okay, I'll go alone.” He said and gave me a small smile before he turned his back at me.

“Wait!” I stopped him from leaving. I bit my lips before I moved quickly to wear my hoodie too. I was about to sneak out on our roof when my eyes saw the french fries. We might be hungry wherever we will go. I quickly get it in a Tupperware before I slowly go out of my room.

“Hey, go down slowly.” He said. I nodded and did that. I'm hoping that Aunt Lizea with his parents don't look here. Because if they did, I'm dead.

No, we're dead.

“Jump, slowly.” He said. I breathe deeply before I jump out of our house.

“I didn't know that you can sneak out.” He laughed. He can still laugh when we are both dead after this.

“You made me!” I said, irritated.

“Come on, let's go. “ He pulled me in my hand, leaving our house.

“Where are we going? We must be home before the sun goes down, Cades!” I said, panicking. I am still nervous. My Mom will be really mad this time. I promised not to go far again, but here I am, going far in our house with this boy from Canada!

“To our secret place.” He said, excitedly with a smile.

I stopped when it processed in my mind. “Our?” My heart is beating so fast again.

“Yes? We are the only one who knows that place!” He happily said and pulled me again. I go back to my senses. Why am I even feeling this weird feeling? My heart always beat so fast, Am I still in a good condition? Or not? Gosh, I wish I'm not sick!

“Cades, I have never sneak before.” I admitted while we were walking.

He laughed before he eyed me.

“I always sneak in Canada.” He said. He separated the long grasses again and helped me enter our secret place. It's my second time seeing it, but I am still amazed by the view. What a peaceful place. I wonder why no one here discovers this, or maybe someone here knows this.

“Why?” I asked when we walked near the tree.

“I told you, I love secrets.” I pout before we both sat on the grass. His eyes went to the view, it's full of love. It's like, his eyes will never be tired of looking at this amazing view. Who will? I don't think I will be tired looking at this view too.

“Secrets again.” I said confusingly. “What's your life in Canada?” I ask, with full curiosity. As I eyed him, his smile vanished but his eyes stayed at the view in front of us. I saw sadness again in those hazel eyes. Why do I keep seeing this in his eyes? His eyes are beautiful, but what it is telling is not.

“Sad, painful, not good.” He said. I felt a knife stabbed to my chest.

“But your family is wealthy. How can you say that it's not good?” I ask again. I'm really curious. I want to know what those secrets are.

“Yes, we are. But it doesn't mean that it's happy. It's not about money, it's about what you feel.” Sadness filled his eyes again while looking at the view. I didn't talk. Because I realized that he has a point.

“Then,” I breathe heavily. “What do you feel?”

He didn't answer me quickly. He became silent and I thought he didn't have a plan to answer me. I thought I crossed the line by asking too much because of my curiosity about his life. Is it bad that I want to know what is the reason for his sadness?

“Want to know a secret?” He eyed me with a smile, a painful one.

I nodded.

“My parents hid me before,” he began. “They hid me, like I should not be born.” He eyed with a painful smile in his eyes and lips.

“What do you mean?” I ask, while feeling the pain in my chest.

“I don't know why they hid me. But my Mom?” He laughed with pain. “She doesn't want me. That she's always mad in everything I do. When I try to tell something, she will be mad. Until I realized that my Mother is mad in my presence, she's mad of me. Do you know what hurts me the most?” I feel the tears in my eyes want to fall down while looking and listening at him. When he looked at me, his eyes were stopping the water from coming out of those hazel eyes.

Now, I am sure how sad he is.

“I don't know why she is mad at me when I am not doing anything.” He wiped his eyes and went back his eyes at the view. I just found myself crying silently while watching Cades.

“That's why I love secrets. Because I always want to know the secret of why she doesn't want me. What's my life in Canada?” He looked at me again. “I always sneak out and go alone outside and find a place where I can see beauty and peace. I don't smile at anyone, because I don't want them to see the pain I feel,” He wiped the tears in my eyes, softly. “But you saw it.” He laughed.

I laughed too and I don't know why I did. He looked at my eyes again. We didn't say anything. We are just staring at each other. My heart is beating so fast, it's like, going crazy.

“I found beauty, peace, and happiness now.” He smiled softly while staring at me.

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