11. Hot And Bothered

David....

I was restless for the whole night. Rolling from one side to the other in hope of sleep to arrive on it's chariot with dreams. But it was just my wishful thinking, I realized, the sleep, I was waiting for, was far from my reach this night. The things that happened today made me bothered. I was bothered by the way I was attracted to her. She felt, like a breath of fresh air to me.

But I was scared, scared enough to step back before it progressed anymore. I want to retrieve back to my normal life that I led before she walked into my life like the light in the darkness.

I had lost reason to everything in my life, long back. I was living like a dead. With no ambition and dreams. But the day, I saw her the first time, with that beautiful smile of hers plastered on her face, I started, finding reasons to my life. She has lit hope in the depths of my heart. Hope to trust again, hope to live and love again, hope to entrust her with my fragile heart. I had started to hope, to live this life to the fullest, even without me knowing. And even the thought of it, made me shiver and cower in fear.

Fear of rejection, fear of being used, fear of being abandoned and what not.

This fear is leading my life since that day. The day, I became the tool of others success, I became a disappointment and shame to others. Especially her, the girl I loved the most. The one who back stabbed me with a huge smile on her face. The girl who has destroyed me profusely. And broke me until I was beyond repair. The girl "Eleanor Griffin" broke my heart into pieces and trampled on them to keep me broken and shattered on the frozen floor in the dark place which had no ray of hope. But things changed, when Laney walked into that dark place being the ray of hope.

Every time, I look at her, I feel the need to hold her tight in my embrace and never let her go. I feel the desire to have her in my arms, grow rapidly. The desire to make her smile and be the reason for her smile. I find myself falling for her everyday. Sometimes, I even think of confiding my feelings to her. I don't know, what the f*k is going on in that f*king head of mine.

Really, sleep is the farthest thing to come to me tonight. I was too immersed in my own thoughts and the things which had happened recently when the faint light of dawn peeked through the window and killed whatever hope I had for the still arriving sleep, totally.

There was no use of laying down and blinking at the ceiling. So, I got out of bed to hit the gym. The clock said, it was 4 in the morning. I changed into my gym clothes and left my room. The whole house was quiet. The only sound that I can hear was the faint sound of the early morning breeze which was blowing in through the open window.

It was chilly. I shivered and my teeth chattered in unison to show the effect the morning chill left on me. I started walking quickly, taking long strides to reach the gym as fast as possible, before I get frozen into an ice sculpture by this morning chill.

As I reached the gym, I closed the door shut and switched on the heater to warm up the room a bit. I worked out until my limbs gave up to go on anymore. My body was sore of working out for hours. And water was unable to give me the strength that I needed. So, I dragged myself to the kitchen in hope of having something more than water. Seeing my mom, standing in the kitchen, preparing breakfast made me delighted and more hopeful than before.

I scraped the chair out and plopped down on it. The scraping sound of the chair startled my mom.

"OH MY GOD!"

She turned around instantly to find the source of noise. And when her eyes landed on me she huffed in relief.

"DAVID! Can you stop scaring me to death. I almost had a heart -attack."

I had no strength left in me to fight her. So, I just gave her a warm smile with a raspy "Morning".

"Morning. Are you not feeling well?" She catched on quickly than anticipated. I must be looking haggard and sick to death by all those hours of working out. But it's good than to have her see my emotional battles. So, I just agreed with her assumption without adding anything further.

I huffed "Something like that."

She was by my side as soon as she heard it. She looked worried and confused as if she wasn't able to figure out what to do?

"What do you mean by that? Do you need to go to the doctor? Wait, let me get an appointment." She said in panic as if I was dying or something. Sometimes I feel, she is too over protective. I should be grateful of it and I am. But sometimes, it just feels too much to handle.

"Mom! I'm fine. It's just that I'm tired and sore of working out for hours. I don't need a doc."

"Really? Are you sure?" She asked concern laced to her voice. She continued "Is something bothering you?" I got panicked and bursted out in anger,in fear of my secrets been found out.

"I SAID I'M FINE MOM. CAN YOU PLEASE LET IT GO?" She got startled by my sudden outburst. What the hell? I'm taking out my irritation and frustration on my mom now.

I huffed in agony that I was feeling in my heart. "I'm sorry, mom. I had a bad night. And I'm just to tired and hungry to have any conversation."

"Hmm....... Ya, food. I know, you become irritated when you are hungry. Let me prepare something for you."

I know, She was upset of my outburst. But nonetheless, she fixed me some simple and tasty sandwiches which I devoured with glee to satisfy my hunger of a beast. But I know, dad will be pissed off by seeing sandwiches for breakfast. And I'm sure, he'll give her a hard time for it. By the time, I had scoffed all the sandwiches, my dad was seated beside me with a huge scorn on his face. As expected!

"What's with today's breakfast? I told you sandwich is not something I can put past my throat, it makes me throw up." He is not a rude person but he sure has a history of how sandwich disappointed him.

"Actually,-" I cut my mom off and continued "I was too hungry to wait for anything else. So, I told her to fix me some sandwiches. Sorry dad, it's my fault."

"I'll make something else for you." My mom said moving pans and clearing the platform to work on it.

"It's okay, hon. I'll just have this today. I'll be fine." My dad is something who has a big and kind heart than mine. He knows when to be polite and grateful not like me.

My mom's eyes twinkled and she pecked my dad on his cheek. My dad gave her a light kiss before she can retreat.

"You both know that I'm right here and witnessing your affections, right?"

My mom retreated quickly with her quickly reddening cheeks, probably from the blush. And my dad on the other hand was smiling to himself as if he knew how that affected her. Eww! Do I really have to witness my parents love affection? I got up to leave before I lost whatever self-esteem I had. I left them to themselves with not even a goodbye.

I heard my dad shout "You don't have to be such a smug." as I got to my room. I smiled to myself. He's good on catching on too. I love messing with them and their affectionate moments.

"Oh, so romantic dad! Do you want me to say this?" I shut the door close even before he can say a word. It's really fun to mess around with him. It was already 7 in the morning. And probably, the time to get ready and dash to the field for practice. I didn't wanted to go for the practice session today. I haven't been there for days now and I'm sure, my coach will suck me dry of blood and kill me if I don't make it there today. So, I got ready with in an hour and reached there as fast as possible.

As I entered the field, I sensed a death glare on me. I looked around to find the source of it. As expected, coach was glaring at me. If glares could kill, I'm sure I would be dead by now. Without wasting any minute, I got myself busy in the practice without giving him a second glance.

Hours later, when we were done with the practice, I was more tired than I was in the morning. I felt like my limbs were about to fall off. I dragged myself towards the bleachers and plopped on one of them. I was having a moment with myself when I felt them sit beside me.

I didn't open my eyes, I heard Sam say from my right "You look totally shattered, man. Were you banging someone for the whole night." He really has his way with words which makes me want to strangle him more.

"No. Just a sleepless night." I gave him a short and straight-to-the-point answer.

"So, banging her in your head, huh? Good! You have improved." I didn't have any strength to fight back and it's good this way.

"Maybe, it's your influence." I said looking straight at him. I heard Peter chuckle from my left.

"Really, Man! You do have tools, to make him quite." We fist bumped and did bro hug and being the smug, Sam took us in for a bear hug. We resisted to get out of his hold but gave up when he made those puppy dog eyes.

We got freshened up and went to the canteen where Rose was waiting for us, most probably, for Peter. My system was yearning for caffeine. So, I took a strong coffee. We indulged ourselves in short conversation when Meghan came with swollen face and red rimmed eyes. She plopped down beside Rose who squirmed uncomfortably. Probably, not able to think of any way to comfort her.

"Hey, Megs."

"Hey, David."

"How are you feeling?"

"I don't think, I need to speak about that. My face is already saying a lot." Probably, it was. Wrong question.

"Did you get home okay, last night?" Rose tried this time but our expectations went down the drain when her face twisted with utter disgust.

"Probably, I went home with "The Mighty Sam". How can I not get home okay when he dropped me off." Ouch! Rose definitely touched the sore point with her question.

On other hand, Sam was quiet, quiet than he was few moments ago. He had his jaw clenched so tight that I was afraid of it breaking off with the pressure he was implying. I know, he, himself is struggling with unspeakable problems and he doesn't want to drag Meghan into his shit which is already out of his hand.

Peter was fuming with anger and resisting the urge to break his head off for making his little sister cry. But he knows it well than anyone else, he knows why he is so stubborn about keeping her away from him. Which, probably, is good for her. Without a word, Sam got up and left. As if leaving was gonna slove anything. Meghan followed him like a desperate cat yearning for her master's attention. Peter called her out to stop.

"MEGHAN!" But she didn't stop until she was out of sight. Rose calmed Peter down by soothing words and actions. I thanked the heavens for not including a bro fight in today's schedule. Because it would have been too much for me to handle.

Rest of the day went in a blur. I was out of my content for the whole day. Exhaustion and irritation has taken up their role to bully me until I beg their mercy. But as expected my begging was getting no where, they were getting even more merciless by every passing minute.

What an eventful day? I thought to myself.

That's when I recounted that I didn't see her for the whole day. Even the thought of seeing her again was making me sweat buckets. But I was even more excited to see her again which was overruling my fear and nervous. Probably, not so good sign. It would be good to not cross each other's path, given our situation but I'm sure, my heart would be in a state of failure by the end of the day. Because it already feels like I haven't seen her for days.

I cleared my mind of her thoughts which were eating on me now. I locked all her thoughts up in the dark corner of my head which would probably help me to concentrate. So, with the dedication and hope to not let her rule my mind, I made my way to the library with long strides. A place which I dread the most. Once the place filled with books used to be my favourite corner and the utmost comfort zone. But it changed by the changing times. I kept going until I was standing at the door. It seemed as if my feet were stuck to the ground or somehow they have gained weight to the point where I was unable to move an inch from the place I stood.

My mind kept chanting the same things over and over "The assignment has to be done by today at any cost. It's a "Do or Die" kinda situation for me now."

So, I just killed the stubborn self of mine in my head and got inside to get it done with. As the smell of books hit my senses, I cringed inwardly with the growing disgust but at the same time it delighted me abundantly.

I can feel myself getting comfortable. And I feel at ease as I always felt around books. But going through books which would be helpful for the assignment is really a damn headache, especially, in the heap of books. I searched for business related sections. While searching, my eyes landed on the girl on the floor, nose deep into the book. And all my chantings, pep talks, dedication and hope flew out the window as I saw her.

Laney looked beautiful as the setting sun shined on her through the window, giving her a glow of an angle. I just wanted to keeping looking at her. But something told be me that I would be counted as a pervert for eyeing her. So, I called her out. But I got no response. I called her out again and it was the same as before.

"Did the book hypnotized her or something?" I thought to myself while looking at her appreciatively. I tried to gain her attention several times. But no response.

Wow! She is like a dead when she reads. Instead of calling out again and doing something else to gain her attention, I just squatted down beside her. She got startled and scared as if she saw a ghost.

"OH MY GOD, DAVID! You scared me to death. Can't you make noise to indicate that you are her?" I wanted to laugh out loud and suppressing it was the hardest job when she was making those funny faces, on her proclamation. I was about to say how I felt of her being dead by her lack of response but I held my tongue thinking better of it. Instead, I told her how I called her and she didn't respond. She squinted her eyebrows together as if she was deep in thought.

She apologized sincerely with confusion filled in her big and beautiful eyes. I accepted her apology and I was failing miserably to suppress my laughter. She glared at me and asked "what 's so funny?"

I was so engrossed in her beautiful face and those eyes of her that her question startled me. To hide my interest in her and skip the question even before she can kill me by her death glare, I just muttered a simple "Nothing" and asked about the book she was reading. I already knew what she was reading and I had read it many times before when I was a romance genre lover, so many times that I have lost counts on it.

She said "After" with such excitement that I was able to see the shine in her eyes and her smile that has broadened so much that I'm sure, it would be acheful later if she kept doing that. So, I just pretended to not know about it. And kept looking at her with open mouth and kept gawking at her. Before even she can turn her focus on the book I asked the most absurd question.

"Is it a romance genre?" God! What's wrong with me? I already know it's a romance genre and famous among today's young teen. I cringed inwardly thinking of how I have made a fool out of myself.

Instead of laughing off at my question she replied with a sweet "yes" following with a confusing "why".

Her "why" startled me a bit. I didn't think about it coming. And I'm sure, I don't have anything to say in return. But still, I started finding for an answer in my mind which would suit the situation. And I came up with a lame excuse of how I have never heard her speaking about all those stupid romantic movies. Her smile broadened and she said how she loves reading romance genre the most.

My mind was already blocked and was not functioning as it should be but my mouth was doing it's job to keep her out of suspicion. I don't know what I was blabbering about, but I was certain that she was not disappointed by the conversation, we were having. My eyes were busy appreciating the angle infront and mind was already making the list of what I want to do with her.

One second, I was looking and wondering how her lips would feel and taste under mine? And the other second, my lips were already on hers, feeling and tasting, licking and sucking. She tasted like sweet strawberries which were not so sweet but enough to get you intoxicated.

I stroked her upper lips and lower lips earning a moan from her which was totally a turn on for me. I deepened the kiss as I felt myself growing warm with desire to ravish her. But our wonderful moment was shattered by the loud and harsh noise. We both flinched apart from each other like we were struck by lightening for committing a horrendous sin.

As I turned to find the source of noise, I saw a girl standing there with her mouth hanging open. I dashed out of there as fast as I can, without giving her a glance or a goodbye.

As I got out of the library, I rushed to the restroom and splashed cold water which stung, it was perfect to bring me out of my delusional moments which was no more a delusion but a reality now. Shit!

What have I done? It really sucks. Damn!!!!

************

Author's Note

I know this chapter may have turned out to be Chessy but in my opinion every becomes a bit Chessy in expressing themselves. And here we are talking about David who was hurt in love. I hope, you will understand his suffering and be paitence with me till the very end.

The kiss was hot and toe- curling but do you think his retreat made him look like a jerk?

please let me know your thoughts and opinions through comments, I would be waiting to know.

And don't forget to rate it to your heart contents. Your comments and ratings means a lot to me.

Love You All.

J. Sammy