~7~

You were suspicious. This isn’t your true self! That wasn’t actually YOU!

I went back to the counter with a grumpy face, filled with various emotions. Noah starred at me, wondering what actually happened to me.

-Hey! Just few seconds ago, you were super excited. What happened now?! He asked with a worried tone. Did she say something bad to you? Insult you?! Do I need to talk to her for you? You know I can!

-Her silence was something way worse than insulting me… I looked at him with red eyes.

He held the plate between my hands to put it on the shelf, then just grabbed me and wrapped his arms all around me so tightly.

-I don’t know who is she to you. But all I can see and all I can understand, is that she is someone so special to your heart. Yet, no matter who the hell she is! You’re way stronger than that. GOT IT GIRL?! He grabbed me again from my both arms, shook me and his eyes were piercing into my pain, looking through it.

-But why doesn’t she remember?!

Tears were all over rolling down through my face. My cheeks got redder and redder as if all my body blood came out in them. My body temperature was raising up every second passing.

-Why?! I re-asked with a mumbling voice while I was running out of oxygen .

Noah couldn’t say a word anymore, kept on staring at me and his tongue got knitted and stuck inside his throat. I’m sure he wasn’t expecting me to drown in my tears for a random person that “maybe” I know.

I acknowledge that Megan wasn’t actually that much close to me. However, somehow, I’ve always felt so attached to her. As if we used to know each other even before than now. As if we belonged to each other in some other life.

After few minutes, I started feeling a bit better.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Again. For the third time this morning. I excused myself, and said:

-Sorry Noah! I need to go for while. Just gonna wash my face.

-Yeah! Yeah! Sure. Take your time. if ever Arcus comes in, I’m just gonna tell him that you’re having some stomach ache so he wouldn’t say anything, and neither to make him worried too.

-Thanks.

I rushed to the bathroom at the back. Washed my face several times with super cold water that hit me as if the whole Antarctica is freezing my skin. Looked up to the mirror in front of me. And saw two creatures standing next to each other; me… with my old friend… “Storm”…

-Hey! I said with an exhausted voice. Long time no see. Let a sarcastic laugh to myself out. How you doing friend?...

He turned all around me and with his round skull full with extremely sharp teeth, patted my head and clung onto my back, as if he was comforting me; thing he actually was doing.

And as every time, I only remember you, my dearest friend, when I’m extremely down. And as every time, you’re always here with me, powering me up when I’m at my worst states. I looked into your deep black eyes full with red nerves around them, tried reaching you, hoping that I could touch your face. But I stopped before. Remembered: “The creatures can get close to you… But it’s impossible for human beings to reach them.” Tears started coming out again. Why did I had to remember this now?! Why can’t Megan remember me? Why can’t I hug my favorite friend? Why?!

Looked into your eyes as tears felt all over my work shirt. Turned around to face the mirror for a second time, rewashed my face and just sat down on the floor thinking about every little thing that hurts me for all over the past years. Just like how we all do… When our beloved anxiety attacks us with her magnificent arrows stabbing every cell in our brains to destroy us with every thought that runs through our minds.

You got closer to me and clung next to my face this time… You broke my anxiety wall with your strange strong powers… I looked up again, and with your tail, you patted my head with a creepy lovely smile on… you putted your head on my arms… with your huge figure… your eyes were piercing into my soul… you were trying to tell me something… Something that I must and need to understand… I raised my hands up, as you were swimming in your own deep dark sea… Stood up… Tried to touch you… And… Your tail shut off from its flashing lights… Closed your eyes… And for the first time… I could feel you when I wanted to… You weren’t just an hallucination anymore… You were a real living soul… For a moment… I forgot every little thing that hurts me for all over the past years… Feeling you “real” was indeed an amazing thing… You were and for a second… Everything that my mind was thinking about… I rushed and hugged you so tightly, when I heard some whispered voices going through my psyche: “It’s coming, wait a little more”…

I freaked out deep inside me. Didn’t know whether they were actually true, or was it only my imagination running wild. I wasn’t waiting for anything to come, neither to happen. What those voices were meaning? Were they coming from you?!

While I hugging storm, my eyes closed by themselves hoping for the pain to stop. Yet, when I reopened them. I found out that a whole other world was surrounding me. It felt as if I was in his own world, where he usually keeps on swimming in. my body started raising from the floor; I was floating in a deep ocean full of secrets. I still could see every piece of the bathroom, the door was still clear enough. But I couldn’t reach anything other than the water. At first, I felt as if I could not breathe. I was suffocating, struggling. Other weird creatures were swimming around, they were ignoring me as if I didn’t exist. Then, suddenly, all the H2O became my oxygen.

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