Chapter 12

Sandy was pacing around the main entrance. She looked in all the rooms already and she looked in the library twice. Mercury was not inside, that much was clear. She just had to wait for Emma to return. Hopefully she will manage to find him. If not…

Sandy shook her head to get the awful thoughts out of her mind. It didn’t help much. She could still feel them at the back of her head, just waiting for her to get back to them.

Thankfully her train of thoughts was interrupted, when a she heard a door opening. Sandy breathed out in relief and turned expecting to see Mercury and Emma to go through them. But what she saw instead made her pause. It wasn’t Mercury nor Emma. In fact, the person standing in the doorway was the last person she would expect to see.

“Finn?”

She wasn’t able to keep shock out of her voice. Her brother looked at her.

“Sandy, I need to talk to you”.

His voice seemed to have brought Sandy out of her shocked state. She stood straighter, remembering that she was supposed to be hiding Emma in the mansion. Finn could not see her. So the faster she gets her brother out of the house the better.

“Talk to me? Since when?”

Sandy did not miss the hurt expression on his face. But she didn’t really care about it much. He hurt her more than one time and he never really cared about that.

“Sandy,” Finn started, then paused and let out a breath. “It’s kind of a long talk. Can we go somewhere to sit down?”

Long talk. Oh, no. That’s not what she needed right now. Sandy looked at the window behind Finn’s back quickly just to make sure Sandy and Mercury were not coming back.

“No,” she said out loud. “I don’t have time for this”.

He opened his mouth but didn’t seem to find words to answer her. So he just stood there for a few seconds with his mouth hanging open. It would have been amusing if Sandy was not completely terrified right now that Finn will see Emma if he stays here any longer.

“Sandy, please. It’s really important”. His voice sounded so weak, she almost gave in. But the images of Emma made her stand her ground.

“If you want to talk – talk. But I am not going to stand here all day listening to you. You have 10 minutes”.

Finn looked stunned.

“9 minutes and 30 seconds”.

“Sandy,” he shook the confusion off of him and started talking. “It’s about Cury”.

“What about him?” To tell the truth Sandy was not expecting the topic to go to Mercury. She honestly thought that this time her brother actually came to talk to her about them. But she was wrong. Yet again. A ping of disappointment changed into anger.

“I don’t know what business you have with him, but he’s dangerous”.

“Oh?”

“I’ve heard him talking with Glenn”.

“Is it supposed to mean something to me?”

“It’s Glenn. He’s one of the most dangerous people”.

“I’m not a kid, Finn. I know that”.

“You don’t understand…”

But Sandy was having none of it. The anger boiling inside mixed with dread of her brother seeing Emma was too much to handle.

“No, it’s you who doesn’t understand,” she interrupted. And here it was, the hurt expression, again. “I don’t care if you think he’s dangerous or whatever. If you came here to babysit me then just go home. Because, in case you haven’t noticed, I’m not your baby sister anymore. I grew up, Finn. With or without you. And I can take care of myself”.

He stood silent for a moment, letting her words sink in.

“I know you can take care of yourself,” he finally said, more of a whisper really. “I just don’t want you to get hurt”.

This time Sandy stood silent. Her frustration still buzzing in her head, but her anger let go a little bit and she was able to concentrate better on her next words.

“Great. You have shown our parents what a great child you are yet again. Good for you. Now you can go home and forget about me”.

“Is that what you think I am doing here?” Finn asked, pain in his voice so obvious you could almost see it. “Being a great child to our parents?”

“Well, that what you’ve been for years. So you don’t even have to try”.

“Sandy, you know that our parents love us equally”.

“It’s not about love, Finn. It’s about how their love makes my life miserable”.

There, she said it. Loud and clear. For all the world to hear. Well, more like only for her brother to hear. But for the longest time he was her whole world.

“You don’t have to try,” Sandy continued, seeing her brother’s expression changing to stunned. “You just are. And me? I have to be this perfect girl. Perfect definition of a daughter. No mind, no thoughts, no perspective. Just this desire to be wife and have kids. And you know just as well as I do that that’s what our parents are expecting of me. What they’ve always expected of me. But you always choose to ignore it. And why wouldn’t you? You get to be whoever you want to be. I… I get to be a woman”.

Finn was too shocked to speak. Now that he thought about it, he could see that it was true. They were ever so slightly pressuring her to become this perfect definition of a wife. Here they are, introducing Sandy to the young men, saying that they would be suitable companions for her. And here they tell her to eat less to be in good shape. It all made sense. How could he never notice it before?

“And you know what?” Sandy started speaking again. All her anger drained from her body, her shoulders slouched and her voice barely audible. “In the middle of all this craziness you just disappeared. I’ve seen you all the time, but you were never there. Never there for me. And I started to accept, that this must be my fate. That I should become a simple wife with five children. That maybe I was just expecting too much out of this life. That it was your fault, you made me believe anything was possible. And I hated you for it. Hated you every single day of my life”.

Last words came out more in a hiss. And as she said that Sandy realized that it was true. She never really gave it much of a thought before, but now she saw that she really hated her brother.

“Sandy,” his voice was barely a whisper.

“Get out,” Sandy said turning her back to him. “I don’t need this right now”.

He stayed silent for a moment, thinking of coming closer and hugging her and explaining everything just like he meant to do yesterday. But he could not make himself move a muscle. After what seemed an eternity, Finn finally said:

“You will always be my baby sister”.

Then he turned and left. Sandy could feel tears making their way down her cheeks.