Presidential Speech

Ivan Bucks Junior stood firm against the podium. He thought of his father, Ivan Bucks Senior, and how proud he would be if he was in the audience. His heart sank, it was only natural to be nervous before the big speeches, but he wished his father would be there in person. Perhaps some comedy would distract the world from his shaky hands. "Good evening, everybody. Before I start my speech I just want to say thank you all for coming to my rally. You're all beautiful and I've seen so many smoking hot women in one stadium: it's nice. Don't worry gentlemen, y'all smartened up great too. Your wifeys are safe!" He showed his wedding ring to prove it. "Ivan Bucks III is due anytime now."

He embraced the cameras with a dashing smile. "You like my teeth?" He made his face the centre of attention. "They were a present from Daddy. Only three thousand dollars."