Chapter 5 Cremate

We're on our way home, aboard a limo to pick us up at the airport. Yes, a fucking limo. You can really get used to it when you have a very flashy friend.

My head rested on the backrest because I was tired from the trip and also maybe because of what happened to Colton and me last night. Everything flashed again, I can still feel his warmness. The heat of his tongue, the way he pound me violently. The way I shivered in his kisses.

''So, what happened?" Said Marky staring me in the eye whether I would tell the truth or not. I sighed.

''He took me ...'' I only said. He gasped and a big O is formed in his mouth. I laughed at his reaction. And he giggled.

''Water ... water, I need water!" He said and fanned himself as if he was going to faint. He took bottled water from the Limo mini bar and drank immediately. And he relaxed himself.

''So how? .. I mean, God Reonn! give me the details, every bit of it. Is it big? Is he good ?" He said and just shook his head with a smile.

''Yeah, he's delicious ..." It's true, I said. And I immediately thought about what happened to them and Ryan after we left. This caterpillar doesn't miss anything.

My brow shot up.

''How 'bout you and Ryan, did something happen?''

''Nothing ... he doesn't like people like me ... " I felt sadness in the tone of his words. ''I understand that it is difficult for us to be accepted but his words really did hit me to the core ... " I hugged him.

''It's okay Marky, we can find someone for us when the time comes ... " he slipped out of my arms.

''What are you saying? You have yours, you bitch! Colton will probably marry you ... " and he stared at me and I laughed.

It is impossible for that to happen. I know men like him. One night stand doesn't mean his inlove with me or he wants me. It's just a plain bed connection. I don't even expect to see him again. That's all there is to it on that island.

''You really think a Colton Martinez will chase the woman he was the first? I highly doubt it ... " he may have tasted a few hundred female virgins.

You just see him, you yourself will surrender to him and give up your femininity. In my case I'm just drunk. But I liked it somehow.

I got out of the car and said goodbye to Marky. Our househelper greeted me. I plan to talk to Mom and Dad because I want to have dinner with them later outside.

When I entered the house I looked for them in the living room, in Daddy's office but no one was there. Usually on this day, Mommy and I are always in the office.

"Manang, Mom and Dad, where are they?" I asked. Manang seemed confused and couldn't look at me.

''Ahh .. .. because hija, your mommy and daddy fought last night, and your mommy did not go home. Your dad left early ... " she replied and left me immediately.

Mommy, did not go home? Where did she sleep? Maybe he went to a hotel. But it did not reach this point when they used to fight. Well, I don't know.

Since I have been in the US for a long time. So I called mommy but her phone turned off so I just called daddy and he answered.

''Dad ... where's mom? "Daddy took a deep breath on the other line.

''Hija ... let's just talk at home, I'm going home ... " he said and immediately turned off the line. After a few minutes, Daddy came and I immediately greeted him with a hug, he also hugged me tightly and kissed on the forehead.

''What's wrong dad? You and mommy are fighting ... " he nodded, he guided me to sit on the couch and he held my hands. I could see the sadness in Daddy's eyes.

''Magda had a heart attack ... " he said.

Colton's mom! My eyes widened as I stared at dad and he just stared at the floor. What is Colton's mom's connection to our conversation?

''Because, s-she found your mom and his husband in a hotel room ... " said Dad.

It was as if cold water had been poured on me. I do not know what to say. I can't even process everything daddy said. Why are Colton's Daddy and my Mom in the hotel room ?!

Are they cheating ?! No, no, no.

I don't believe mom can do that.

''Why dad? Why are they in a hotel room? Are they cheating dad? Mom is cheating? " I said

Daddy looked up and I was depressed to see daddy's eyes were red. He's crying! I just saw daddy crying. It was as if my heart was squeezing and I didn't realize I was crying too.

He held my hands tightly and took a deep breath.

''Don't hate your mom hija. Please, don't hate her. I understand your mom ... Our marriage was fixed by your grandparents. I love your mom, hija. I do ... " now dad's shoulder is shaking as he cries and I hug him.

I still have not spoken.

''In the few years we've been together, I know I don't have her heart. Agusto is the one she loved since then and until now. If only they hadn't been separated before, they might have stayed together ... " said dad

I looked up.

''But dad, why did I'm here if mom doesn't love you? " My voice cracked. ''I know mom, she loves you dad. Maybe ... maybe she's just tempted I'll talk to her dad. It will be fixed, we will fix it ... " but daddy shook his head as if he had given up.

And it broked my heart into pieces.

''I'm giving your mom her freedom. It's time for him to be happy. I became selfish when she chose me to me, I thought ... I thought she would learn to love me but no ... not your mom ... " said dad

My tears flowed incessantly at what dad said. All these years, I thought they loved each other but, only daddy loved. Even if you have been together for a few years, if he is not really the one you love, you will not really be able to force yourself. But, why am I here? Why was I formed? What am I?

''You are the result of my anger hija ... but your mommy loves you, even though she doesn't love me. We pretend to love each other so we won't hurt you. But maybe all my pretending and torturing with your mom is enough. I hope, you'll love your mommy as much as I love her.'' Said dad

Those were the last things daddy said before he left the house again. I just stared at the room, while my tears were still dripping. I feel so much pain, as if I can no longer breathe in so much pain.

What will happen to our family? The perfect family that I thought would last forever. How is dad? Mom, will she leave us? How about me?

I woke up the next morning with my eyes swolen. I fell asleep crying all night. Although, I do not want to get up and leave the house. But I have to fix my family. I will handle it.

After taking a bath and getting dressed, I went downstairs and found Manang going upstairs. She was anxious and crying. I was nervous about her appearance so I hurried down.

''Manang, what happened? "I said

She was shaking and I was even more nervous about what she was doing.

''Hija ... your daddy had an accident. His car fell into a ravine and exploded. The police said it is possible that your dad was driving drunk ... " she said

I rolled my eyes at what manang said and immediately my tears flowed. It was as if a fine pine had torn my heart from what he had said. I sat on the floor and kept shouting at the excruciating pain of the news that came to me.

I was crying and I was getting cold. Suddenly my vision darkened and that was the last thing I remembered.

''Reonn, baby. Are you okay?" I felt someone holding my hands so I slowly opened my eyes. I saw mommy crying and Marky was behind her with worried eyes. Walls are white and I'm sure I'm in the hospital.

''Mom, ? Where is daddy? " I said and got up.

Mommy hugged me tightly and she burst into tears.

And the realization hit me. Dad is gone. Dad's car exploded. I slipped into mommy's embrace and shook my head. My heart is full of anger and grief, and I have no one to blame but mommy.

''It's your fault! " I shouted, which surprised her a little. Marky came up to me and hugged me by my side. ''daddy died because of you mom, because you hurt him! so maybe he got drunk, and his car fell into the ravine! You killed him mom. You! "I shouted with all my heart. I received a strong slap and I was surprised there..

Mommy covered her mouth in shock at what she did. She approached me slightly but I glared at her because I was so angry with her.

''Baby, I'm sorry... I didn't mean to.''

''Stop it mom! there is nothing you can do with sorry, daddy is gone. He was so hurt by what you did mom ... " while Marky hugged me tightly which calmed me down a bit. ''We talked last night and he told me everything, why did you do that! Why ?!'' I said and broke my voice.

''I did love your father, Reonn. I married him even if its against my will. I sacrificed my heart , because I did not want to disobey my parents then ... " and mommy got close to me and I let her hold my hands.

''How 'bout me mom? Do you love me? Can't your heart really love daddy completely? "I said and looked her in the eyes. I stopped crying. I can't seem to shed any more tears.

''I love you, baby ... even if I reconcile with your daddy over and over again, I will still marry him. Because If I do not, there is no one like you here in front of me. A child who is very smart, understanding and loving ... " mommy's voice broke and my tears started to form again. "So don't say I don't love you, Reonn ..."

Mommy caressed my face and wiped away my tears. I immediately hugged her.I do not even understand right now things are happening but she is still my parent, and I love her. Mommy is innocent. She is also just a victim here.

If only their marriage wasn't fixed before. Not everything will end like this. They just love, but their hearts are just opposite.

Even so it happened. I am still grateful, because mommy and daddy gave me the opportunity to see the beauty of the world.

Even other parts of daddy's body were missing due to the explosion. We chose to cremate his body. And mom and I mourned dad. There is still a part of my heart that is angry with mommy. I can't accept daddy's death. He died unhappy and hurt.

Maybe this is what is destined to happen to my family. Everything happens for a reason right? And we have no right to question what is in store for us. Because God knows what he is doing.

That's what I hold on to when daddy died.

It was almost four years since dad died. I did not return to the Philippines for four years. And now, I am on a plane to the Philippines. Because mommy said she has something important to say. I forgave her too. I chose not to blame mommy because she was the only one I had.

And I know daddy wouldn't like it if I hated mom. 'Don't hate your mom' I will never forget what dad said before he died. So I will do that for daddy.

It's just weird, because why do I really need to go home to find out what mommy has to say. No matter how hard I try to get her to tell me on the phone what she has to say, she doesn't want to.

I worked in the US and I learned well how to run our business. Because all of that will also go to me. Marky and I also did not meet for several years. Though we always talked through Line, but that was not enough. I still miss my only friend.

I got off the plane with my big suitcase. My eyes searched for Marky. Because he will pick me up. And I will include him in my conversation with mommy. I also plan to visit daddy tomorrow, because he might be upset with me.

I chose to leave the country to treat my torn heart. Mommy also didn't stop me and I know she understands me.

Now, I will start again. We will make mommy's memories even without dad. I know that's what daddy wants too.

Everything will be okay.